


In Need of Wings

by CadomirBane



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka has PTSD, Ahsoka is Gay, Canon Divergence - Revenge of the Sith, Enemies to Friends, F/F, F/M, Lesbians in Space, M/M, Mutilation, Order 66, Post Season 5, Suitless Vader, Torture, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, to pseudo father-daughter ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-07-22 11:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 36
Words: 78,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7435897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadomirBane/pseuds/CadomirBane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahsoka, having left the Jedi Order three months ago, is all alone in a strange galaxy. She is about to find an unlikely friend who will eventually become a much needed companion in the coming days of darkness and the rise of the Galactic Empire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter of this fic was inspired by the unfinished footage from a Clone Wars episode showing Ahsoka living on Coruscant after she left the Jedi Order, and buying a speeder that ends up breaking down. The rest is from my own imagination.
> 
> This fic takes a lot of liberties from the events surrounding Revenge of the SIth but I hope you enjoy!

Three months.

Three months ago to the day, actually.

It had felt like a much longer time.But that is how long it had been since Ahsoka Tano walked away from the Jedi Order.Three months since she was betrayed by the people she had grown to trust the most, save for only one—Anakin.The same person she walked away from after all they had been together.Even all this time later, Ahsoka could still feel their connection was strong.

One would think that six months would have dulled the pain by now.Guess not.

Ahsoka Tano kicked the hyperdrive of her speeder in frustration.

“Shit!Dammit!Shit!”She sat on the ground and continued to curse under her breath. She had been scratched up and bruised all around because of the crash, and she had badly sprained her right wrist.She snarled and kicked it again.Bad move; her shin was already badly bruised.

She fumed as she thought of what the dealer had said. _“Like new quality, guaranteed!”_ How did she fall for that so easily?How did she become so gullible?But the dealer did sound very convincing after all…

This whole living on her own on Coruscant wasn’t turning out as well as Ahsoka thought it would.In retrospect, she should have found a companion and started somewhere easier, not decided to wander the city all on her own.At the time, it sounded like an adventure.

“Adventure, my ass,” she muttered.

She had no other choice but to leave the scrap pile that used to be her new speeder behind, and make her way back home by taking the train. Her _home—_ too strong a word in this current circumstance—was an apartment deeper into the city on the lower levels of Coruscant.Barely an apartment at all.The best she could afford was small, cramped, filthy, with one small window looking out to the city.She hated it so much.But what else could she do?

Certainly a far cry from the Jedi Temple.Not that living there was first-class luxury all the time.But at least the Temple didn’t reek of mold, smoke, and waste.Or have leaky faucets that sometimes had less water and more of oil or some other unidentifiable liquid.Or noisy neighbors stumbling down the halls vomiting and arguing and who knows what else at three in the morning.Suffice it to say Ahsoka could not imagine how anyone could survive living in such conditions as long as she had, much less longer than three months.

She kicked a stray bolt on the ground, stuck her hands in her pockets, and pulled her hood over her head to hide the scratches and bruises on her face she now found quite embarrassing.She began walking down the street to find the nearest train station, muttering to herself about how stupid she was for letting herself get swindled.It would not be so terrible if it hadn’t been the first time.But honestly Ahsoka was getting tired of being taken advantaged of in this regard.

Several minutes into her walk down the narrow, darkening streets of the city, Ahsoka began to feel tension in the air.As if a potential threat was arriving.But she seemed to get his sense on and off when she was around certain characters, and her best option was to keep moving.

This time, however, the tension was growing stronger.Ahsoka walked a little faster, keeping her head lowered.She almost collided into a tall Trandoshan thug in front of her.Before Ahsoka could mutter an apology and be on her way, she felt his thick scaly hand on her shoulder.She was shoved back against the wall.

“Hey, watch it!” Ahsoka snapped.

“You should watch it, youngling,” the Trandoshan hissed.

Ahsoka glanced to her left and noticed three other thugs approaching them.They seemed to know the Trandoshan.One of them grabbed Ahsoka’s other shoulder.The way he grinned at her sent an icy chill down Ahsoka’s spine.She should have known this would be a bad area to be walking through.

“She’s lean meat, but she’ll do,” one of them hissed.

“Get your ugly paws off me, sleemo!” Ahsoka snapped.She was about to shove both of them away when she remembered her wrist had been sprained.This would make a fight much more difficult, especially if she was up against four large Trandoshans.

“What do you say?Beat the fight out of her first?”

“Come on, pretty little girl.Squeal for me.”One of them yanked back her hood.

“Don’t you touch me!” Ahsoka screamed.As she realized what was about to happen, she grew more and more terrified.

One of the Trandoshans was about to grab the front of her shirt, when Ahsoka heard the sound of a blaster being fired.The Trandoshan went down and the other three turned to see who it was.In the shadows, Ahsoka could barely make out the silhouette of a faintly familiar figure.

Using the Trandoshan’s confusion to her advantage, Ahsoka kneed one of them in the groin and kicked the other in the kneecap.The silhouette opened fire on two of them, but the remaining Trandoshan ran into the shadows to attack them in time.Ahsoka pulled her hood over her head again and watched, feeling confused as to who her rescuer was.She could not think of anybody who fit.

As her anonymous rescuer slipped out of a would-be deadly blow from the Trandoshan, a glint of light from the neon pulse sign above illuminated red eyes and a dark snarl.The silhouette suffered but one wavering blow from the Trandoshan before finishing him off as well.Ahsoka groaned and wondered if her day could possibly get any worse than this.And considering who had just happened to be in the same vicinity as of today, it definitely could get worse, a lot worse.

_You have got to be kidding me._

“Cad Bane…” Ahsoka snarled.

He turned towards her and stepped into the light.Now there was no mistaking who it was.She’d recognize that ugly hat anywhere.

“Padawan Tano,” he said coldly.“I’ve been looking for you.”

Quickly, Ahsoka grabbed her weapon with her uninjured hand.It did not register in her mind to ask as to why bounty hunter scum would rescue her from a group of thugs, except for the most obvious reason of course: he had far worse plans for her.And Ahsoka wasn’t about to find out what his plans were.


	2. Chapter 2

Ahsoka stepped towards him, ready to draw her lightsaber.She wasn't going to take any chances.“If you even _think_ of touching me, I’ll—”

“Woah, slow down, little lady.”Bane held up his hands.

In a single leap she closed the distance between them and held her lightsaber up to his neck.All she had to do was ignite it and he would take a lightsaber blade through the neck.“How did you find me, _sleemo_?Answer me or I’ll gut you.”

What did not surprise Ahsoka was the slight grin on Bane’s face when she called him by the same old nickname she once used years ago, when they first met above the Devaron system.What _did_ surprise her was that Bane made no move to defend himself or use a counterattack.Surely he wasn’t going to let her disarm and question him like this.He had a plan up his sleeve.

“I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong.”

“Oh, am I?Do tell me how I’m wrong,” Ahsoka snarled.“ _And_ how you found me.”

“Your master—or, former master, I suppose.He sent me to find you.”

“Like I’m going to believe that.”

Bane pointed down to his belt.“May I?”

Ahsoka glanced between his belt and his hand before she pulled back his jacket by herself.Instantly, her eyes caught something that should not be there.Something that had been there a long time ago, she recalled.

“My Padawan braid…how did you…?”

“Your former master said you would recognize it.”

Ahsoka frowned at him.“He didn’t give this to you.You stole it from him!What have you done with—-”

“For fuck’s sake.”He pulled out a datapad from his knapsack and handed it to her.“He warned that the braid itself might not convince you enough, so he also said to bring along a copy of the receipt.”

“ _Receipt_?”This was an odd sort of game Cad Bane was playing.

“For hiring me.It’s all there.I have nothing to hide from you.”

Ahsoka took several steps back from him and kept glancing up to make sure he wasn’t about to try anything.She read everything that was on the datapad.

“Anakin is hiring you…for what?” she asked incredulously.She wanted to say that it all looked fake, but she would recognize Anakin’s writing and signature anywhere.And, through the Force, she could begin to sense that Anakin had used this same datapad.No way Bane could forge that.

“To keep an eye on you.”

“What?” Ahsoka snapped.

Bane sighed and crossed his arms.“Your former master—”

“Don’t call him that.His name is General Skywalker.”

“ _General Skywalker_ ,” he said sweetly, “expressed concern for you.He wanted to know if you were doing well and if you were safe.This is quite different from the Jedi Temple, after all.”He glanced up and down the street before he began dragging the Trandoshan corpses into the back of the alleyway near the dumpster.Ahsoka watched him, frowning.

“So he hired _you_ to keep an eye on _me_.That doesn’t sound like my master.”

Once Bane finished taking care of the Trandoshans, he wiped his hands on a handkerchief and glanced at her.“Oh?”

“Anakin would never work with scum like you.I find it very hard to believe that he would even think of giving you money.Just to look out for me!”She tossed the datapad at him.“I know he didn’t hire you, but if he did, I’d tell you to go back to him and let him know I don’t need a chaperone.”

“I will gladly tell him that.”Bane grinned.“For a price, of course.”

“You are real sick, Bane.”

“That’s a fine way to thank me for saving you,” he muttered.

“I didn’t need your help.I had it under control.”Ahsoka turned away and began to stomp off.She didn’t know whether to feel disgust that Bane was pretending he had just rescued her, or anger that Anakin would hire Bane in the first place.The Force told her Anakin did have a role in this, but it didn’t make sense.If he was worried about her, wouldn’t he try to find her on his own, or send someone they were both close to?Why would he stoop to hiring a bounty hunter that he knew Ahsoka hated?Something wasn’t adding up.

However, despite her anger and confusion, Ahsoka did feel a small sense of comfort from the fact that, even after all that happened, Anakin was still looking out for her.A strange way of showing it, granted.But a strange way of showing that he wanted to make sure she was okay was better than nothing.She missed him so much.She missed life at the Temple.She missed Captain Rex and Master Obi-Wan.

She pulled her hood over her head again and stuck her hands in her pockets.No, she couldn’t think about that at the moment.Right now she just wanted to get back home, take a hot shower, and try to figure out how she was going to get a new speeder.And maybe treat herself to a strong drink or a sugary treat.Because after all she had put up with today, she felt that she had earned it in full.

Ahsoka sensed someone behind her and already knew who it was.She spun around.“Are you following me?” she snapped.

“Just doing my job…”He was about to call her ‘little lady’ again but seemed to recall that she told him not to, “…Miss Tano.”

“Great.”She sighed.“So you’re being paid to be my guard dog, basically.”

Bane’s smile faded quickly at that one.“I would prefer the term ‘hired bodyguard.’”

“Nah.I like ‘guard dog.’It’s more fitting.”Ahsoka smirked.She liked where this conversation was going.

“I can see you’re very grateful that I just saved your life.”

“Stop playing that card.We both know I didn’t need your help.”

Since it seemed like Bane wasn’t lying about his job, and wasn’t going away any time soon, Ahsoka realized she might as well make the most of it.Better than letting herself stay miserable for however long Bane had to stick around.She planned to read the datapad again back at her apartment, to see if there were any clarifications on Bane’s new job.In particular, Ahsoka was interested in any loopholes she might find.

After all, if Anakin had hired Bane to protect her, that meant that on the job, Bane could do no harm to Ahsoka.No matter how annoying, reckless, or obnoxious she was.

This could be fun.

Ahsoka tried not to laugh as she whistled sharply.“Heel!Come here, boy!”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he snorted.He crossed his arms and began following her anyway.

“Oh, no, I forgot,” Ahsoka said sweetly.“My apartment is too small for both of us.I guess you’ll have to sleep outside.At least that way you don’t have to get me up in the middle of the night.”

“Now who’s being sick?”Bane fixed his hat and avoided eye contact with her as he walked alongside her.

Ahsoka had never heard him sound so annoyed before.And better yet, there wasn’t a thing Bane could do about it.Finally, her day was starting to turn up.


	3. Chapter 3

Ahsoka opened the door to her apartment.She had worries about letting Bane know where she lived, of course.But the only way she could contact Anakin was by using the comm number Bane said that Anakin had left with him.And she had left her comm at her apartment.And Bane wasn’t going away, so she had no choice.

“So this is it.It’s not much, but it’s home.”Ahsoka stepped inside.All at once, knowing Bane was watching, she suddenly felt self-conscious of the piles of stuff she left lying around.Her makeup was piled in front of the small mirror in the fresher and spilling over the sink.Her clothes were stacked up on the chair and the bed.Posters and notes littered the walls.Everything else was scattered.“I’ve been meaning to clean it up,” she said quickly before Bane would make any snarky comments.

Bane shrugged, not caring to look around too much.“The sooner you discuss the details with General Skywalker, the better.”

“I knew that.”Ahsoka grabbed her comm.“Stay outside, and don’t let me catch you listening in.”

“Of course, cupcake.”

Before she could throw her boot at him, he slipped out the door and closed it behind him.Ahsoka groaned and prayed that the whole job was a scam as she commed the number.It was picked up almost immediately.

_“Bane, I told you to only use this number in case of emergencies.”_

Tears welled up in Ahsoka’s eyes when she heard his voice.It was Anakin.Her Master.He sounded a bit more weary than when she last saw him three months ago…more tired from the war.But it was still Anakin.Ahsoka had no idea how emotionally overwhelming it would be just to hear his voice again.

“Hey!Um…it’s me, Ahsoka.I borrowed this number.”

_“What…Ahsoka?”_ There was a long silence.

Ahsoka shut her eyes tight.She could feel that Anakin was overjoyed to hear her voice again too.Of course, he would also be very surprised to not hear Bane’s, but it had to be a pleasant surprise.

_“Why are you using this number?Did something happen?”_ Anakin finally asked.

“No, no, I’m fine.Sort of.I needed to ask you personally if it’s true.”Ahsoka wanted to cry with relief.For a few brief minutes, she had her Master back.For the first time in three months of loneliness and silence, she had some sense of familiarity.

_“If what’s true?”_

“That you hired Cad Bane to protect me.”

Anakin sighed. _“Yes, it’s true.”_

She didn’t want to be angry with him.She wanted to tell him she was sorry for breaking his heart and tell him about everything that had happened since she left, every moment that she used some skill Anakin taught her and it worked.But in the moment, she was very angry.

“What for?” Ahsoka demanded.“First off, I don’t need protecting.I’m doing just fine.And second, why would you hire that scum?”

_“Calm down and listen to me, all right?I’m…I’m just glad you’re safe.I’m glad to hear your voice again.”_

“Me too…” Ahsoka rubbed her cheeks with her palm to wipe away her tears.“I wish we could talk some more.”

_“So do I, but we can’t right now.I’ve been worried about you.I could sense that you were not well.”_

“I’ve been…fine…”But she couldn’t lie.She hated being treated like she couldn’t do it on her own, even though it was probably true.Who was she kidding?The last three months had been miserable.She couldn’t even buy a proper speeder on her own.

_“I hired Bane because he was the most available.And he works independently; he isn’t loyal to either side.”_

“So?!”

_“Is there someone you would have preferred?”_

“What?I don’t know…just, anyone but him.”Ahsoka made a face just thinking of the man outside her door.

Maybe Anakin had gone insane, or the war was really getting to him.

How much could have happened to him in only three months, anyway? she had wonder.

_“This is only temporary, Ahsoka.He’s only going to stay until you’re ready to make it on your own.”_

“You’re being really unfair, you know.Forcing me to get along with this…this…”

_“I’m sorry…”_ He sounded genuine. _“I just had to be sure.I have to go now before anyone can trace this number.May the Force be with you, Ahsoka.”_

“Hey! But—”He had already cut the line.

Ahsoka fought the temptation to throw the comm across the room.Maybe if she just ate some dinner and turned in early, she’d feel better tomorrow.This had to be a nightmare.

When she opened the door again, Bane was leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette.

“I assume you have your own place to stay?Because if you don’t, there’s no way you’re staying here.”

“Relax.I’ll be on my way now, and I’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

Ahsoka smiled sweetly.“Great!Pick up breakfast on the way, then.”

“I’m not running errands for you, little bit.My job is to make sure—”

“I heard,” she said curtly, still smiling.“Then again, wouldn’t my Master be very, very angry with you if something were to happen to me?What if I got upset?What if I went hungry? I have his number now, and I’ll gladly let him know if you’re not doing your job well.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.You, breakfast, eight AM.Hot caf and doughnuts.”

“You don’t know what you’re dealing with.”

“Yes I do.Get the cream-filled kind.You’ll find them at Dex’s Diner, in Coco Town.”

Bane pulled out his comm and made a couple notes before he turned to leave.Ahsoka went back inside and checked her fridge for some food leftover from yesterday.There wasn’t much, but it would hold off her stomach until tomorrow morning.

After dinner, she took a hot shower and scrubbed her skin until it felt raw.Then she changed into her pajamas and collapsed on the bed, not caring that it was unmade.Over and over in her head, she heard Anakin’s voice.The pain, the worry, the regret…all shadows on the same old Skyguy she had never forgotten.All she wanted was to talk to him one more time and fix this whole mess.But she knew she couldn’t.

Ahsoka curled up into a ball, hugging her pillow.Maybe tomorrow would be better.

* * *

Ahsoka was up at seven-thirty sharp.  By the time she had finished waking up and did her morning stretches and exercise, it was eight AM.  She dressed quickly and ended up pulling on an old tank top that was a gift from several months back, and a pair of tight leggings that matched her boots.  In under two minutes she had finished applying her makeup.

As she had expected, Bane arrived on time, as she picked up the aroma of fresh caf and cream-filled doughnuts from the hall.Not knowing exactly what to expect, she opened the door.At the sight of Bane carrying her breakfast like a personal delivery man, Ahsoka had to smile.Her day was off to a peculiar, but not unpleasant start.

“They’d better be the cream-filled kind,” Ahsoka said, grabbing her cup of caf and the bag from Dex’s Diner.

“That’s the last time I’m running errands for you.”Bane’s eyes wandered down to the picture depicted on her tank top.Specifically, he was looking at a drawing of a tooka doll wielding a large knife, both splattered with green blood.The caption below the drawing read: ‘Nice Playin With Ya.’

Ahsoka frowned when she saw where Bane’s eyes were at first, when she remembered what she was wearing.

“What the hell is that?” he snapped.

“Sugi gave it to me.”She sipped her caf loudly.“I loved her artwork so much she had it printed on a shirt for me.”

“It’s terrible.”

“Funny that you should say that.”Ahsoka recalled the events that inspired Sugi’s artwork in the first place.When Ahsoka and Anakin tracked Bane to Naboo, using a tooka doll to trick him before they finally arrested him, thus saving the Gungan child from being kidnapped.When the color of his blood—green, as compared to the clones’ red blood—gave away his identity before he escaped the _Resolute_ hangar.

Ahsoka, Anakin, and Obi-Wan, after helping Sugi and some other bounty hunters fight off some pirates, were offered a ride on her ship to the nearest Republic outpost.During that journey, they ended up sharing the story of what happened on Devaron and Naboo.Sugi’s artwork was inspired by the Jedi’s own interpretation of the tale.

Bane seemed to figure out what the drawing meant almost immediately.So far he wasn’t liking it.

“Change into something else.I don’t like it,” he said coldly, tearing his eyes away from Ahsoka.

“Excuse me?You can’t tell me what to wear.I like this tank top, it’s comfortable.”

“Well, I don’t.I think it’s tasteless.”

“ _You’re_ tasteless.You and your stupid hat.”

Bane snarled at her, exposing his fangs.“Watch it, little bit.”

“Oh, so _that’s_ what finally gets you?When I insult your hat?” Ahsoka sighed and stepped into her apartment, munching on a doughnut.“This is pointless.My Master didn’t hire you to bicker at me all day.So what are you going to start teaching me?”

“I thought we’d start with the basics: how to buy a proper speeder.”

She looked away to hide her embarrassment.So Bane had seen her crash yesterday…wonderful.“I’m a fast learner.”

“I’m sure you are.I still say change the shirt.”

“I still say this is pointless.”But, hoping that Bane would be slightly less annoying as a result, Ahsoka pulled on a hoodie anyway to hide the drawing.She began to wonder what could have come over Anakin, and her thoughts continued to dwell on her former Master for the rest of the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

“So, what’s the first lesson?” Ahsoka piped up as soon as they were walking down the street.“How not to get eaten alive by a gang of Trandoshans?Because I already know that one.”

“I’m sure,” he said dryly.

Even mentioning it brought Ahsoka, briefly, back to the Wasskah system, the Trandoshan moon where she was hunted like an animal by those beasts.She remembered the horrible fear, the dread.The growing sense that in order to survive the ordeal, she had to become—in both mindset and behavior—the animal she was being treated like.She remembered the Padawan, Kalifa, dying in her arms.She still got nightmares about that from time to time…

Ahsoka quickly brought her attention back to the here and now.Having a flashback was the worst thing she could do at the moment.

“Rather than teaching you self defense,” Bane was saying, “I reckon you need more, you would call, street smarts.”

“Street smarts,” she echoed in a sour tone.“Right.For a second I was afraid you were going to say manners, because that would be ironic.”

Bane frowned at her.“You know, if you would stop insulting me every other second and actually start paying attention, you wouldn’t waste both of our time so much.”

“Every moment I’m within thirty-nine and a half feet of you is a waste of my time.”

“Brat…” His hand slipped next to her belt.The next moment he was holding her wallet.

“Hey!”

“See how easily I did that?This is exactly what I was referring to.”He motioned for her to stop and handed her wallet back.“You keep your valuables too out in the open.You need to keep them concealed.For fuck’s sake, anyone can tell you’re carrying a weapon.”

She frowned.These things had not occurred to her before.She always figured that she should keep her valuables as close within reach as possible, so she could grab them with the Force if seconds counted in an emergency situation.It never crossed Ahsoka’s mind to hide them.

He took her wallet and tucked it in his back pocket, hidden beneath his jacket. “Keep it somewhere hidden, and where you’ll be able to tell if it’s missing.Same goes for your weapon and anything else of value.See how I did it?”

She was still frowning at him.When Ahsoka first pictured what it would be like taking lessons from Bane, she imagined she would hate having to admit she needed it. She had been right.

“Yeah.”Ahsoka used the Force to get her wallet back and did the same.“Better?”

“Test it.”He walked around her, then grabbed her wallet from her pocket.

Instinctively, Ahsoka spun around, snatching his wrist.She squeezed tightly as if hoping to get a reaction out of him, just so he knew that he should take her more seriously.He watched her with no expression.

“Well done, little bit,” he finally said, and handed back her wallet.

Ahsoka scoffed.“So what?I hardly learned anything.Anyone on the street could have taught me that, or I could have looked it up.”

Bane’s voice was suddenly quiet and cold.“Someone is following you.”

Ahsoka looked behind her.Then Bane was laughing.“You’re mistaken, Bane.No one is following…”She put two and two together and glared daggers at him.

He had been testing her reaction.

“You need to understand how the city works.How to look or not look at strangers.How to respond to certain situations.”Bane continued walking.“You’re not completely inexperienced, but you’re still stupid and ignorant.At least, now that you don’t have the Jedi Temple protecting you.”

‘Stupid’…’ignorant.’Oh she was really pissed now.Pissed enough to break his jaw.But, Ahsoka knew he had thrown those words around just to get another reaction out of her.He was actually trying to prove that she was the spoiled child he saw her as.

If Ahsoka could keep her cool, she would prove him wrong.And get him off her back sooner.

“You say these things like you think you know me better than I do,” she said sharply.

“I know what you lack, where you misstep.And I know what I have to teach you.”

“Oh?You’ve been my guard dog for only a few hours.”

“Do you think I would be as efficient a bounty hunter, if I could not learn that much from you in a few hours?”

Ahsoka stopped.These words had to make her think.For the second time that morning, she had to admit Bane was right.All this time, Bane had been reading her and figuring out how many mistakes she made…of course he was.Lots of bounty hunters had to be good at this sort of thing.Not that Ahsoka couldn’t read people, but her situation was different.She had other abilities at her favor.

Maybe Bane also planned to show her a few tricks as to how he did it.A chill ran down Ahsoka’s spine at the mere idea of being educated on Bane’s ‘tips and tricks,’ and reminded her of how much of a terrible situation she had been put into—by Anakin, of all people.

“I guess not,” she admitted.“All the same…”

When she didn’t finish her sentence—a deliberate act on Ahsoka’s part—Bane asked,

“And?”

“All the same, you should treat me with more respect.If you don’t, General Skywalker will be the first to hear about it, and he will _not_ be pleased.”She smirked.“You know how he gets when he’s like that.”

He cocked an eyebrow.“Why don’t we move on to your next lesson.”

“And that is?”

“Buying a new speeder, of course.”As Bane and Ahsoka walked the several blocks to the nearest shop, he started listing some of the credentials for purchasing a used speeder.In brief wording, he explained the kind of engines that would work best and the kind she should avoid, specific models to stay away from, and so on.

Ahsoka was listening, taking in the information.But her real attention was focused elsewhere on her surroundings.She was interested in the people and sights around her, what everyone else was up to and why and where and how.Now that she had to think about how to pay attention and stay on guard, she felt more curious.

“…that is, if you’re not too stupid to remember.”

“Yep?”Ahsoka discovered, to her embarrassment, that she wasn’t listening.“I’m not stupid, by the way.”

Bane narrowed his eyes at her.“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”

“Of course I did.”

“Then show me.”

Ahsoka looked at the line of speeders for sale.Based on what she had learned that day, she selected the best speeder with care, and used her card to charge it.Bane watched her from a distance, and when she showed him her new speeder Ahsoka didn’t try to hide how pleased she was with herself.

“There.Told you I’m not stupid.”

“Even stupid people can follow instructions.Let’s see how well you can keep the speeder running on your own.”

“Here’s a question for _you_ , Bane.Just how long are you going to do this?Keep an eye on me, that is?”

“Until your Master is satisfied with the results I am sending him from our little lessons.”

“Oh, so…you’re keeping him updated every day.Figured.”She blew a raspberry.“Fuck it.Let’s go get caf.”

Bane started to laugh, then stopped abruptly.“Did you just invite me out to caf?”

“You were going to follow me there anyway.I’d feel more creeped out with you standing outside or sitting in the corner, honestly.If you have to hang around me all day, at least do it where I can see what you’re doing,” she said, like it was obvious to anyone with common sense.

Before she could change her mind, Ahsoka counted her change and crossed the street to the small caf shop.She came here frequently, as it was within walking distance of her apartment, and the caf was surprisingly affordable.Plus it felt a little comfy and had an aesthetic that reminded her of certain areas of the Jedi Temple, in some strange way.Cad Bane did not seem that he would fit in a place like this, which probably saw more of the university student type than the ugly hat-wearing child-stealing bounty hunter type…but Ahsoka liked it here, so she didn’t care how Bane felt about it.

Bane was staring at her in disbelief as he followed her into the caf shop.She couldn’t blame him; Ahsoka was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she had just invited Cad Bane out for caf.She blamed the war.War fucks up people’s heads, makes them do things they always regret.That had to be the only logical explanation.Or that Bane drugged her breakfast…whatever.

Several minutes later, the sweet aroma of her cappuccino greeted Ahsoka while she sat at the small table near a window, a beverage which Ahsoka used to order at every chance she got.It was a pact she made with Anakin…they both made a list of civilian foods, clothes, and other miscellaneous items that they _just had to buy_ when they were off the battlefield or back on Coruscant.Points to whoever got everything on their list done first.Eventually they had each other lists memorized, all the little things the other craved that most civilians—people who lived relatively normal lives—could have whenever they wanted.

In some ways, it had helped the battles go by faster.It had given them something to look forward to afterwards, even if said something was nothing more than some new mascara or a shot of espresso.Having those lists also forced one to act under the assumption that they would both actually survive the battle, since they had plans for what would happen afterwards.It pushed out the possibility that one of them would be killed.

It was these small attempts to find happiness that Ahsoka missed the most.Nowadays, she could go and grab a cappuccino whenever the fuck she wanted—first thing in the morning or on a sleepless night, it didn’t matter.But in those days when she fought alongside Anakin during the war, it was a rare treat that she wasn’t even always sure she would get.

Before she realized it had happened, tears rushed to Ahsoka’s eyes.She was clutching her mug as her hands began to shake slightly.

_Anakin…her Master, her friend…all her friends.Clones who were killed under her command.The Padawans.The innocent.So much death, and for what?What was it all for? Was it all pointless?_

_Had they lost so many brave soldiers and Jedi for nothing?_

_Many of them were still out there, fighting without her…_

_Too many had been killed._

She covered her face to hide the tears flowing down her cheeks.Ahsoka wanted to shut down her emotions and look normal again, function like a person should in public.But she couldn’t.She couldn’t stop it and she choked down a sob.Quickly she grabbed the cappuccino and took a sip, but that only sharpened the memories and brought on more tears.Her throat ached, and her shoulders trembled.

It all hurt so much.All they had lost, all the horrible things she saw done to people caught in war.How war mangled families, homes, souls, everything good in the world.Ahsoka wanted to stop feeling; better to feel nothing than to feel so much pain.

Someone handed her a handkerchief.Thinking it was a waitress Ahsoka grabbed it and wiped her cheeks, then blew her nose.Now, on top of her grief crashing down on her out of nowhere, she had to deal with public embarrassment.She tried choking out a couple words.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Keep it.”

Ahsoka froze. _Bane_ gave her that handkerchief.Gross, it had been in his pocket.

She stopped breathing, waiting for the blow.He was seconds from making a condescending remark along the lines of how a puny cup of caf could bring her to tears, and how stupid and ignorant she was to think that she had it the worst in the galaxy.All the same bullshit Ahsoka heard in her own head enough already.No matter how much Ahsoka expected the words to come, she knew they would each feel like a dagger to her heart.

This was hopeless.She was an emotional wreck.Her sleep schedule screwed up from the nightmares, bank account gone to hell, reminders of the war at every turn.She could not deal with someone like Bane in this state.She just couldn’t do this.

But the blow never came.Instead, Bane set a small cream-colored box in front of her and sat at the other end of the table.He wasn’t saying anything.

Confused, Ahsoka took the box and then realized it was a pack of cigarettes.She swallowed hard, still shaking.

“I don’t…I don’t smoke,” she managed to say.Fuck, her voice sounded pathetic.Everything about her felt pathetic.Ahsoka wanted to curl up in bed and never get up again.

“It will calm your nerves.”Bane’s voice was cold, as usual.

Ahsoka snorted.That sounded so cheap.“Calm my nerves, huh?Couldn’t have told me that a couple years ago?”Nonetheless, Ahsoka found herself snatching the pack and pulling one cigarette out.“So, how the hell do I do this?”

He slid a lighter across the table.Her hand shook as she lit the end of the cigarette and raised it to her mouth.Ahsoka shut her eyes tight, not really sure if she was about to do this, or if it was a more enjoyable dream for a change.

She inhaled lightly.Then she coughed.

Bane watched her with a strangely calm look in his eyes.“There you go.Take it slow.”

She took another inhale and nearly gagged.“Gross.I don’t see how a person could get used to this.Now I’ll be tasting that for days.”She handed it back to him, not wanting to finish it.

He took the cigarette and stuck it in the side of his mouth.He was smiling softly at her, as if seeing Ahsoka smoke her first cigarette had reminded him of something that pleased him. “It didn’t kill you, little bit.You’ll be all right.Don’t worry.It gets easier.”

As Ahsoka struggled to sip her cappuccino, a strange thought crossed her mind.It almost sounded like Bane had meant more with his statement than it sounded like.As if he was referring to more than just her first cigarette.She knew he had seen her have that crying fit…did he understand what had made her cry?Did he even have to understand?

Her head ached from crying, and now inhaling that smoke.Plenty of time to think over pointless shit later.She was going to drink her coffee and get back up and continue with her day, one step at a time.She had to keep functioning and trying to feel normal, whatever it took.

In the back of her mind, memories of the war lingered on, as they always did.

_It didn’t kill you.You’ll be all right.Don’t worry.It gets easier._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka has PTSD and I will stand by this headcanon forever.


	5. Chapter 5

_~ One month later ~_

  

Ahsoka stared at the bank teller in disbelief.

“There has got to be a mistake.I had two-hundreds credits in my account just last week.”

The bank teller sighed, almost sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, but your account went over.Two-hundred is how much you owe on your credit, not how much is in your account.”

“But that can’t be right!”She looked down at her hands and took a deep breath. _Calm down.Focus.Not going to get anywhere by freaking out._ Plus she hated the idea of making a scene at the bank knowing that Bane was outside, waiting to give her another lesson in self-defense or bartering or some other crap.

“I’m sorry, Miss Tano.”

“So I can’t close my account until I get another two-hundred credits that I thought was already here.”

“That’s correct,” the bank teller said sadly.

_Hey, at least I got a new speeder, right?Forget that Bane_ deliberately _broke the engine, just so I could figure out how to repair it on my own.And then I had to go to the trouble of finding the part I needed all on my own.Asshole.He could certainly use a little fixing in his head._

“All right, so how am I going to do that if I’m out of work?”

“I’m really sorry, Miss Tano.”

_Fuck this._ Ahsoka stormed outside.She had known this day was coming ever since she was fired from her job.A shitty job, really…she would never take a waitress for granted again now that she knew what it was like.But now her money wasn’t just running out; it was in the red.She needed a job soon or she would lose the apartment…the one thing she had left.

Bane threw a jab at her shoulder, like he always did, just to make sure she was paying attention to her surroundings.Ahsoka knew it was coming and slipped out of it, not in the mood to hit back.

“The look on your face suggests you didn’t receive good news.”

“Brilliant deduction skills, Bane,” Ahsoka snapped.She shoved her hands into her pants pockets.They made their way to the train station and got on the first train leaving for the neighborhood where Ahsoka’s apartment was.Ahsoka didn’t say anything until she had found a seat, while Bane stayed standing in the aisle across from her.“But yeah.I need two-hundred credits to get my card activated again, plus money for rent and food and the new paint job for my speeder.Well, forget that last part, it’s not getting a paint job anytime soon.”She was scowling.

“How soon is rent due?”

“Two weeks.”When she said it aloud it hit her hard.Ahsoka pressed her palm to her forehead.She felt like her world was spinning too fast, and she wanted everything to just stop and be over with already.It all felt like too much.

Bane stopped as well and took out his pack of cigarettes and a lighter.He was watching Ahsoka but not saying a word.

“Two weeks and then I’m going to lose everything.I could try to sell some stuff, but it would hardly get me anywhere.I need the speeder so I can get around.”She slapped her forehead.“Fuck.This is stupid.Who fires a waitress just because she’s Force-sensitive?!Not like I never wanted that stupid job anyway.”

“No kidding.”

Ahsoka spotted the cigarettes and, against her better judgement, blurted out,  
“Gimme one of those.”

Without saying anything, he handed her a cigarette and lit it for her.She gagged a bit at first, but this wasn’t nearly as bad as the first time.It had become a bad habit of hers to ask for one whenever Bane was smoking, and he had yet to turn her down.Ahsoka was beginning to like the feeling it gave her while she was smoking.Her thoughts collected themselves, and she felt calmer.It was nice.

“Long story short, you need to find a way to get a lot of money in a short time span.”

“That pretty much sums it…” She glared at him.“I know what you’re thinking, and I won’t do it.”

“Huh?”He shrugged and gave her his innocent puppy dog eyes look.It was the look that made Ahsoka wonder if she had the strength to cave his head in with one Force-induced blow.

“I’m not going to let you teach me how to steal, or cheat, or anything illegal.General Skywalker would be very disappointed if you started teaching me stuff that would get me arrested.”

“You wouldn’t get arrested if I was teaching you.”

“Ironic that you would say that, considering that I helped in your arrest not even two years ago.”

He frowned, clearly taking offense at the comment.“Well, I’m not the one who’s in need of a job right now.”

Ahsoka pinched the bridge of her nose.“Yeah, I keep trying to forget that Anakin is actually paying you to do this.Someone should pay me to be a pain in your ass.”

“It’s nice to make money doing something you’re good at,” he said dryly.

“Oh, so you admit that I do get on your nerves?”

“You get on everybody’s nerves, just by breathing.”

“Ooh, ouch. That _really_ hurt.”She hugged her hoodie tighter around her and glanced out the window to the city lights whizzing by.The cigarette was helping, but Ahsoka wanted to get away from all the people and the crowds.She wanted to shut herself away in her apartment and forget how much her life was spinning out of control.“You know what, Bane?I just can’t do this.I know this is your job from Anakin, but I don’t want to do deal with this right now.”

“Deal with what?Me?It’s not like I asked to be here, you know.”

“Why can’t you just walk away?I don’t want you here,” she snapped.“I’m serious.Just go.Get off at the next stop.”

“I would, but I need to finish my—”

“No, you _are_ finished with your job.I should have a say in this too, you know.It’s my personal space we’re talking about here,” she said coldly.“I never want to see you again.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

She glared daggers at him.“ _Go away_.”

“I understand.”He glanced down at her, not appearing happy.“If I were you, I would never want to see me again either.”

Ahsoka was about to ask what he meant by that but the train had already stopped.Bane tipped his hat and her, and just like that he had left.

She felt relief that he was gone, especially once the train started moving again and she saw no sign that he had gotten back on the train.Although, knowing both Anakin and Bane, either or both would be back.Anakin would take some drastic measure to make sure Ahsoka was all right, and Bane would come back if leaving prematurely meant he did not receive his full payment.The ordeal was far from over.But at least, for the first time in a month, Ahsoka was alone again.

She got off the train and went back to her apartment.By habit that she had picked up over the weeks, she almost hollered at Bane to get some takeout food for dinner…then she bit her tongue, remembering that he had left.Good riddance, anyway—last time he ordered takeout for them, he added extra spices to the food without telling her beforehand.Her tongue still throbbed even after she had eaten a lot of ice cream.

Ahsoka began playing some music from her pod and she fell down on the bed.After she had kicked off her boots, she listened to her music while staring up at the ceiling for a while.A lot was on her mind.She needed a job or she would be evicted in two weeks.Maybe even less than that if the landlord was tough on her, and that wouldn’t be a surprise.

A dark thought crossed Ahsoka’s mind.Not because of its legality, but the morality tied to it, and her own sentiment.But it just might hold her out financially for a little while…

Even though she grew sicker the more she dared think about it.

By morning, Ahsoka had made her decision on the matter.She did not sleep a wink that night.When it was daylight she went to the fresher to wash her face and put on some makeup.Hanging from the top of the mirror was the Padawan braid Bane had given her as proof of the job he had been hired to do.Ahsoka looked at it for a while, remembering how it had once laid so delicately in Anakin’s hand as he offered her the chance to join the Jedi Order again.How all the hope faded from his eyes when she closed his hand, convinced she would never see or touch her Padawan braid again.

She hastily blinked the memory away and put the braid in her pocket.After a breakfast that consisted of half a stale doughnut and some diner coffee, Ahsoka took the train to a district of the city known for its popular street markets.

As she thought about what she was going to do—what she was about to throw away, just so she could survive a little longer—Ahsoka’s throat began to choke.She had to force herself not to cry.No turning back now.She had made her decision.

She walked down the street, taking note of the signs around her.When she saw what she was looking for, she slowly approached them.There would be no taking it back as soon as she said the words she had rehearsed all night:

_“How much will you take for a Jedi Padawan braid?”_

A very rare item on the market, she knew.Someone had once tried to steal her lightsaber and sell it as well…and even though a braid was far less practical than a weapon, Ahsoka imagined a lot of people would like to use it as decoration, or a personal trinket.Someone would pay a handsome price for it.More than enough to get her bank account out of the red and pay for the rent, and other expenses, for a couple more months.Long enough for her to get another job, at least.

She could hear Anakin’s voice.See the hope in his eyes.Feel the stares of the Council as she turned and walked away.She reached down and squeezed the braid in her pocket.Although her senses were distracted by all the commotion of the street market around her, she could feel just the slightest beginnings of the emotions and the memories attached to her Padawan braid.

Her vision became cloudy.

_I can’t…I can’t do it._

After idly walking around for several minutes, taking all her strength not to have another public meltdown, Ahsoka finally left and took the train back home, still holding onto her Padawan braid.

_It should have been easy…I’m not a Padawan anymore, so this braid is worthless to me.And I need the money.I need the money way more than I need sentiment._

_I’ll lose the apartment.I’m going to be living on the streets.I’ll starve and have to find shelter in the lower levels…_

She buried her face in her hands and cried.

* * *

Ahsoka trudged up the stairs back to her apartment.  She had to clean up, then go out and get some job applications.  Anything to make herself useful instead of sitting around feeling miserable all the time.

She opened the door and something on the floor stubbed her toe.When she picked it up Ahsoka discovered it was a bank chip, from the same bank she had her account in.

“What the hell?”She looked it over, but the amount of credits on the chip had been left blank.There was no way of knowing how much was on the chip.Maybe it had been lying around her apartment for weeks and she found it just now.Or someone put it there.“This has got to be some sick joke…”

Still, the anonymity in credit amount compelled her to find out for herself.Within the hour, she was at the bank, unaware that she clutched her Padawan braid tightly in her pocket, as if trying to squeeze out the small ounce of luck that she desperately needed.Maybe it helped after all since she made it to the bank a close twenty minutes before it closed.

When the bank teller punched in the code number for the chip, she handed Ahsoka a receipt.Ahsoka read the numbers.

“I…I don’t understand…?”

“The bank chip was worth three hundred credits.Now your account is active again because you don’t owe two-hundred on it anymore,” the bank teller said.

“What?But where is the bank chip from?It’s good, right?”

“Yes…it checks out just fine.Looks like this bank chip was activated yesterday.”

“Was it charged to the Republic?” she had to ask.

“No, it was activated with cold credits only.”

Ahsoka stopped to think. _Yesterday.Who from yesterday would put three-hundred creditson a bank chip and sneak it into my apartment…?_

_Fuck._

Sure enough, when Ahsoka was back at her apartment, she found who she was expecting, standing right outside her door.

“I told you I never want to see you again!”

Cad Bane was smoking a cigarette, like he knew it would tempt her to ask him for one.Now she was even angrier.

“I know what you said, but Skywalker was insistent that I talk to you again.”

Ahsoka jabbed her finger at his chest, snarling up at him.

“How dare you!How dare you tell Anakin that I needed money!It wasn’t charged to the Republic, so I know Anakin had to find the money on his own.Why would you do something like that?!”

“Watch it.You’ll make me drop my cigarette,” he muttered, resting his hands on his holsters.“No, Skywalker doesn’t know about the money issue.”

“Then who snuck the bank chip into my apartment?”Ahsoka made a face.“It…wasn’t _you_ , was it?Are you trying to make me feel pitiful?Like I’m too weak to ask for help but I need the charity?Is that what you want?!”

“No,” he said flatly.“I did it because I figured it would be easier on both of us to continue your lessons if you had a roof over your head.You do need to keep the apartment if you’re going to be safe.”

“Oh…” She was still angry and snarled slightly.“Well, how did you get the money?”

“If you want to know, you’ll have to let me show you.Consider it a lesson in how to make quick money in an emergency.”

“Sounds illegal.”

“Sure, but on the other hand, you do have one hundred credits in your bank account right now.”

Ahsoka crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.“Good point…”She had to admit, participating in illegal activities sounded _better_ than selling her Padawan braid to the street market.After all, maybe Bane was on to something.Maybe if she wanted to survive and eventually find a new home for herself, she had no other choice but to do a few things on the other side of the law.Was that really so bad?

Suddenly she realized another thing that made her angry.“But you snuck into my apartment!”

“Like hell you would have taken the bank chip if you knew who it was from.Change the lock if it makes you feel more comfortable.”

She frowned.“I don’t get you.You could have asked Anakin for the money.Why did you get it yourself?” she snapped.“Why are you trying to make it look like you care when you obviously don’t?”

His slight smirk faded and he looked down at her, seeming lost in thought for a few fleeting moments.“I don’t care,” he finally said.“But I do know what sort of things money troubles can lead to.And as part of my job, I shouldn’t let that happen.”

“Yeah?I bet you do know what those things are.Bet you hurt a lot of people that way,” she said darkly.

He sighed, looking very tired and frustrated and annoyed.“Look, I’m not asking for a ‘thank you.’But when someone does you a favor with no strings attached, you shouldn’t be complaining to them.”

“I think I can make an exception with you.”

“Fine.”He turned to leave.“If you decide to let me show you how I got the money, comm me.My schedule is free.”

Ahsoka thought about what he had said and felt a slight twinge of guilt.Maybe not all her accusations had been right.After spending a month under Cad Bane’s training and protection, Ahsoka had learned that he took his job seriously and didn’t like to play around when he could be making money instead.That alone revealed the fact that if he had willingly made a few credits to put in her account—even if part of his intention could be to embarrass her—there was a significant purpose behind it.

“Thanks,” she finally muttered.

He stopped before descending the staircase.He probably hadn’t been expecting that.

“You know what money troubles are like?” Ahsoka challenged, her tone threatening, as if daring him to spill a secret.

“Of course I do.”

“You know from experience?”

“There’s a reason I don’t work for free.”

She glared at him, not sure what sort of conversation they were exactly having.“I don’t want that.I don’t want to end up on the streets.Doing Force knows what just for food and a place to sleep.”She shuddered at the thought.

“I know.And if I were you, I wouldn’t want that either.”

For the first time, Ahsoka felt the stirrings of curiosity into Bane’s story.What drove him to desire money so much?How much had he implied just now?Did he mean to say that he did not want those things for her, because he knew what it was like?Is that why money was of such high value to him?

“First thing tomorrow, I’ll comm you,” she blurted out.“Teach me whatever illegal shit you did to get that bank chip, I don’t care.Just don’t give me anymore handouts.”

“I understand.”

She stepped forward before he could leave.“Where are you going?”

“Back to my place, why?”

“Split a takeout dinner?Money’s a little tight for me these days.I should share.”She smirked a little.

He smirked right back at her.“Yeah, sure.I’ll be right back.”

_Just like that, I’ve invited him out to dinner.Whatever…_


	6. Chapter 6

It was late evening on Coruscant.The light was fading and the city nightlife stirred in the lower levels.Ahsoka kept the window shades closed at night and light from traffic leaked through, adding to the hanging light above the small table where they ate.Her apartment had a musty smell to it, along with the scent of cheap perfume and makeup.Both of them now carried the scent of cigarette smoke.Ahsoka’s cold beverage had turned lukewarm, the ice cubes long melted.Music played from her pod on her bed, blasting the latest Top Forty hits.

Ahsoka’s curiosity was picking and nagging at her.But for Ahsoka, curiosity was usually inevitable.Especially when she had been in the company of someone she hardly knew for just over a month.

The truth of the matter was, she hated Cad Bane’s guts.But she wanted to know why she hated him.

Who knows, maybe by hearing about all the things that made Cad Bane so easy to hate would help Ahsoka feel better about herself.Then she would have fewer reasons to push herself down all the time.It wasn’t the right thing to do, but in this circumstance, Ahsoka did not have a problem with it.

She had a job now at the shipping yard…it was exhausting, but she was grateful to be working again.And over the past several weeks, she had learned more than she ever cared to about all the things that went on in the city, and how to survive in it.A lot of it still intimidated her, but on the other hand, she had come very far.Now no one could swindle her with a poor speeder anymore.

She could finally stand on her own.

When their takeout arrived, Ahsoka was deliberately wearing her tank top with the tooka doll covered in green blood and the caption “Nice Playin’ With Ya.”The scowl on Bane’s face when he saw it made the trouble of changing outfits more than worth it.Ahsoka had made it a habit to put that shirt on whenever she knew Bane would have to drop something off or stop by her apartment.

“Who even wants to be a bounty hunter?You could have been a singer or an accountant or a pilot.But _no_.You had to take a job where you hurt and kill people for a living.I mean, what sort of chemical imbalance in your brain made you choose that?”

“ _Chemical imbalance_?”

She was treading dangerous waters, she knew.But she wanted to see if he would offer an explanation on his own.Testing Cad Bane’s patience had become Ahsoka’s new favorite hobby.She stuffed her mouth with noodles and began talking with her mouth full.

“Yeah.I just don’t get you.I don’t think I want to.”

He groaned.“Younglings.”

Ahsoka swallowed her food.“I’m seventeen!” she snarled.

“Proves my point.You’re just a kid.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.What got you into bounty hunting?”

“Ugh, who cares?”

“I never said I _cared_ , but I’m curious.” She held out her fork like she was going to stab him and grinned playfully.He was too much fun to annoy.

He frowned and his mouth twisted into a scowl.“I got into bounty hunting because stealing is fun and killing people is easy.”

Her smile dropped at the words ‘fun’ and ‘easy.’“So you enjoy killing people?” she pressed.

“I said it was _easy_ , not _enjoyable_.”He leaned back in his chair.He was no longer looking at her but out the window.“Sometimes it is, though, but you probably knew that already.”

“I guess so…” She ate some more noodles.“So stealing is fun?”

“You have no idea.But that comes easy too.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.”

“A kid as in, seventeen, or younger than that?”For that matter, Ahsoka discovered, Bane had a tendency to call anyone younger than him a ‘kid.’

“As in, this high.” He gestured to just above his knee.“I learned how to steal before I learned how to count to twenty.”

She thought for a moment about what he just said.“Sounds like you stole because you had to.Even though you were just a little kid.”

“I guess you wouldn’t understand that.Being raised in the Jedi Temple, three squares meals a day and a roof over your head.”

“Hey, watch it.”But he was right.Her life had been fairly simple and easy up until she became Anakin’s Padawan and was suddenly thrust into a war far bigger and more devastating than she could imagine.Right now, she could understand what it was like living hand to mouth and having to break the law in order to survive.She tried to imagine what such a lifestyle would have been like when she was far younger.“Tough, Bane.That’s real tough,” she said dryly.

“Do you want to know what I think?”

“You tell me.” She munched on her dessert.

“I think you should have stayed with the Order.You shouldn’t have left on your own unless you had a place to go.”He sat up straight.

“Where is that coming from?” she demanded.

“You’re just a kid.”He turned to look at her; he didn’t look happy.“A month ago you barely lasted on the streets.It was only a matter of time before you would have wound up in real trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?”   
“Use your imagination.Kids shouldn’t wind up on the streets, because the rest of the galaxy won’t see them as kids.They only see a way to make easy money.Kids who can’t fight back or say No.”

She frowned.Now she knew what he was talking about, but why bring up something like this, after she asked about what his childhood was like?

“I couldn’t stay with the Order.Not after what happened,” she said quietly.

“Then I’m glad you had the freedom to make that choice, Little Bit.Not everyone does.”

Ahsoka slowly stood up in her chair, studying the Duros with a new level of curiosity.There was something about what he had said that felt like it rang deep.Like she had struck a chord that hadn’t been touched in a long time.

_Gods, Bane, what happened to you?Were you kicked around when you were a kid?How bad was it?Did it make killing easier?I don’t dare ask…_

“Hey, Bane…” she said quietly, “I don’t know what happened to you when you were a kid.It doesn’t come near to excusing the awful things you’ve done.It never will.But…”

He glanced up at her.

“I know what you’re trying to tell me.You _did_ take this job because you cared.You didn’t want something horrible to happen to me.”

“It’s not like I asked Skywalker for the job—”

“You _do_ care!”She smiled.“You knew you’d feel better if you were sure I was okay.Ha!Not so cold and ruthless now, are you?”

“Teenagers…think they know everything,” he muttered.

“That’s because we do, old man!”She was smiling even more.

“Shut up!”He got up.“I’m leaving.Take the day off tomorrow, I have more important things to do than spend time with you.”

“I _knew_ you cared.Even just a little.”She crossed her arms and smiled smugly.

He stormed out the door.Ahsoka’s smile faded as soon as he was gone.She certainly had a lot to process now.

* * *

Two mornings later, Ahsoka was awoken by the buzzer at her door.  Blanket wrapped around her shoulders, she stumbled over to the door and opened it.

“Can we not today?” she muttered as soon as she saw the Duros.“I’m sick.”She sniffed the air and detected the aroma of doughnuts and hot caf.“Did you bring me breakfast?”

“Don’t get cute.I know you skip meals on purpose to save on cash.”

She rubbed her eyes and looked up at him.“You didn’t have to do that.”Now that she better understood why he was going out of his way for her, it didn’t bother her so much.At least she didn’t get the sense that he was mocking her financial woes by giving her handouts.

“I came to give you news.Picked up breakfast on the way, so don’t start thinking I took extra time out of my day to do this for you.”

She frowned, annoyed by how much he refused to admit he cared about her.She leaned against the doorway.“Ooo-kay.What’s the news?”   
“Skywalker said my work is done.”

It took her a moment to process what he said.“Wait…what?You’re done?”

“Sent in the latest update on how your lessons have been going.He said I don’t have to look out for you anymore.”He shoved the bag of breakfast food in her arms.“Congratulations.You’ve graduated.”

“Yay for me, official graduate of Cad Bane 101,” she muttered.“So Anakin thinks I don’t need your help anymore?”

“That’s what it sounds like.So I’m gone.”He handed her caf and stepped back.“Good luck.”

“Hey…wait!That’s it?!‘Good luck’?”

He paused and frowned at her.“What else am I supposed to say?”

“It’s just…that was almost two months you were teaching me stuff.I’ve learned so much.I’m much better off now and I really can take care of myself.”

“But we’re done now.”

The idea of being on her own again—being alone—began to scare her.Wasn’t bad company better than none at all?And what if Bane didn’t exactly qualify as ‘bad company’?

Color her crazy, but she didn’t want Bane to leave just yet.Not if they parted ways with no more than a ‘good luck,’ anyway.

“Oh come on.There has got to be something you still have to teach me,” she tried to joke, trying to think of something that would provoke Bane to stay a little longer.

“Like what?” he asked, sounding annoyed.

“Like…cards.Show me how to cheat at cards.Anakin wouldn’t have thought to bring that up with you.”

Bane sighed and glanced at a crack in the ceiling.Ahsoka was still having a hard time reading his nonverbal gestures.It really bugged her.If he was confusing her on purpose, it certainly worked.“You’re just lucky that I don’t have a job lined up for a few more days, and that I’m stocked up on supplies.”

“So you will?”She brightened.

“Did you know that cheating at cards is illegal?”

“That’s why I’m asking you to teach me, duh.”

“All right, your choice of place.”

“The caf shop.Caf’s on me too.It’s only fair because you get me breakfast all the time.”

“That’s the other deal with teenagers…they’re so stubborn.”He scowled.

“And you’re not, old man?” She smirked.

“Watch it or no deal on the card game.”But he didn’t sound like he meant it.Ahsoka watched him leave and thought more about what he had told her the previous night.She thought about all the near-misses she had had over the past three months from very dangerous, fatal situations.She thought about the war still going on.

It was a lot on her mind…but now she could take this one step at a time.She was closer to leaving Coruscant for good, starting a new life all on her own.

Things were finally starting to turn for the better.


	7. Chapter 7

_General Grievous is dead._

The news spread quickly throughout the galaxy, even reaching to the small neighborhood Ahsoka resided in.When she first read about what had happened on the HoloNet, she had just finished her shift at her new job.Within hours of hearing the news, many of the citizens were celebrating out in the streets.Many brought alcohol and spices to share with, cheering that a CIS leader who had caused the deaths of many galactic citizens had finally been put to justice.Not to mention, this meant it was only a matter of time before the war was finally over.

It was good news, right?Of course it was.The sooner the war was over, the sooner the violence would stop.Life could feel a little more normal again, like it was back when Ahsoka was growing up in the Jedi Temple.Not like now.

But to Ahsoka, strangely enough, it did not feel like good news.She wanted to feel relieved, happy, or excited.General Grievous needed to be eliminated, and honestly, she had sometimes wished that she would have been the one to do it even though that was impossible.But now that he was finally gone, Ahsoka didn’t feel any of the things she thought she would feel.

She made her way back to her apartment much slower than before.Not all of Coruscant was celebrating, but any citizen who would take the death of Grievous as an excuse to go out to drink and party, was doing it just now.The train was crowded and Ahsoka had to make her way through a few crowds of friends getting together to celebrate.She was relieved to be alone to herself back inside her apartment again.

It would not do her good to look on the news for more information about it, of course.She heard enough from everyone else talking about it to her on her way back to the apartment. That was more than enough information.Instead, she turned on the music to a pop station and let the lyrics carry her mind away from the here and now.Not that it helped.But it greeted her with more grace than any silence.

Every time she heard someone mention ‘The Hero With No Fear’ felt like she was being stabbed.

Gods, she missed Anakin so much.She missed his love.She missed his protection.She missed their connection, their jokes, their experiences together.

Just as she began to wonder if Bane would consider connecting her to Anakin, at any point in time, someone knocked on her door.She had memorized the sound of Bane’s knocking enough to know it was him.

“It’s unlocked,” she hollered, too lazy to answer it. _What could he want?Last night was our last official “training” together.He probably left something here…_

She was on the verge of suspecting something fishy, when Bane stepped in and grabbed something from the table.“Forget my deck of cards.Sorry.”

“Oh…no problem.”She sat up and crossed her legs on the bed.So she had predicted it correctly; that was odd.“Loss of memory does come with old age.”

“Oh, shut up,” he snapped.He put his deck of cards in his pocket.

She hesitated before speaking up again.“You probably won’t answer this for business reasons, but will you be staying around much longer?”

“I have a job in another region of the system.But why do you want to know?”

“I just…” _Why_ do _I want to know?Why do I care where he goes?I don’t…_ “Curious.And hey, you’re technically a connection I have to other criminals now.You taught me about keeping connections.”

“Not when it comes to me.We have no connection.And I’m leaving.”

“But—”

“I have a lot of work to do and I’m not being paid to protect you any longer.”He glanced down at her.“You’re all grown up, so start acting like it.”

_Where is this coming from?_ Had she angered him in some way, and if so, how?

“You’re being rude.”Ahsoka frowned.“You trained me for weeks.And you’re okay with leaving, just like that.Like none of it mattered?”

“It only mattered because it was my job.From now on you’re a waste of my time, so don’t bother me anymore.”He began to leave the apartment.

She glared at him.In hindsight she probably would not have gone along with this sort of plan.But Ahsoka just hated it when someone else got the last say in the conversation, not to mention the privilege of slamming a door shut in her face.So, thinking quickly as to how to fix Bane’s new behavior, she grabbed her hoodie and jumped off the bed.

“Wait.I was just leaving anyway.”

“Oh, where to?”Judging by his tone of voice, he wasn’t buying it.

“To…go out, celebrate.Everyone else is doing it and I haven’t partied since…ever.”She shrugged.

“Don’t follow me,” Bane said coldly.He did not seem happy with the fact that Ahsoka walked not far behind him out of the apartment building.He didn’t even look her in the eye.

_Oh, I get it…he’s pushing me away.I guess caring about people sucks so much that the moment you feel it start, you run away from them._

_That must really, really suck,_ Ahsoka thought.

Then she caught a glimpse of an object under his arm that helped her to understand.

“You’re drinking.”

“That’s the plan.I’m going to go back to my place, and have a few drinks in peace.That is unless you plan to follow me all night.”

Ahsoka scoffed, a little too loudly.“Uh, no?I just happened to be heading out right now.”She didn’t like being back out on the streets, especially now that it was after dark.People had gathered to the bars to drink and party, forgetting that the war was not officially over and partying would only temporarily erase the memories of what the war had done.

Hugging herself a bit tighter, Ahsoka walked on ahead of Bane, who had slowed down because of the crowds.She noticed a group of males hanging around the sidewalks gawking and pointing at every attractive female that walked past.Ahsoka pulled her hood over her head and kept walking, hoping she would be ignored by them.

Her senses were tingling.This was not a safe place…

She had made it past them.Good.She wasn’t in the mood for a fight.

Suddenly, Ahsoka felt a hand on her shoulder, yanking back her hood.She spun around.“Don’t touch me!”

“Hey, pretty girl, where are you off to in such a hurry?Off to go see your daddy?”The male Twi’lek’s eyes were reddened; he was clearly drunk.

Ahsoka could fight him off any second she wanted to.But the way he spoke to her like she were an object, seeing her as something to be gawked at and fondled with however he wanted…she felt sick all over.It paralyzed her in place.

“Awww.What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

She could cut off his hand…she could gouge out his eyes.But the words hurt so much.It made her feel weak, disgusting.Helpless.Why couldn’t she be strong right now?

His words were cut off by an ear-piercing scream that made Ahsoka’s teeth sting.The Twi’lek was yanked back by his lekku, as he stumbled backward and landed flat on the pavement.Ahsoka looked at who had grabbed the Twi’lek by the lekku and stared in surprise.

“Bane…?”

Bane grabbed his lekku again and forced him to stand.The Twi’lek smacked him, screaming in pain, but Bane ignored him.“Look, son.If you’re not going to apologize to her, I’ll gladly rip an apology out of you.”

“Bane, cut it out…” Ahsoka muttered under her breath.They were drawing attention…the last thing Ahsoka wanted.She was still surprised that Bane had so quickly rushed to her defense.

The Twi’lek punched Bane in the nose.“Get off me!Fuck you!”

Bane snarled.Ahsoka could tell from the amount of alcohol left in his bottle that he had drank a lot more since they left the apartment.“All right, that does it.”He squeezed the end of his lekku tight and hit the Twi’lek square in the jaw, knocking him out cold.When the Twi’lek had collapsed on the ground Bane peered down at him for a few moments before muttering something in Durese under his breath.

Before Bane could wander off, Ahsoka took him by the arm.“You didn’t have to do that…I had it under control.”

“You know, I just have a problem with people who think they can get away with shit like that.”He scowled, as if in deep in thought.“But you’re right.Next time, I’ll just hold him up for you.Is that okay?”

She frowned.His behavior weirded her out, even if it was because he was drunk.The Cad Bane she knew was not nearly this caring about others.At the least, she could play along for a little.“No.I got it.”

“Please?”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes.“Oh, fine.But you don’t get special points for saving me.”

“It’s not about points, little bit.”He walked along the pavement.“Anyway, um…I’m pretty drunk right now and I should take the train back to my place.You probably don’t want to be around me.”

Before he could step out and consequently get hit by an oncoming speeder, Ahsoka grabbed his arm and pulled him back.His hat had been knocked uneven during his brief fight with the male Twi’lek, and Ahsoka fixed it for him.

“I’m walking you to the train station.I wouldn’t like it if you let your stupid blue ass get kicked in a fight you were too drunk to turn down.”

“Hey…I can take care of myself.”He scowled, looking very serious, just before he hiccuped.

It took all of Ahsoka’s self-control not to laugh.“And so can I, what’s your point?”She gripped his arm and led him away from the crowd, to a quieter street on the way to the train station.She kept a close eye on anyone who might be following them, as well as any signs that another drunk partier might cause them trouble…skills Bane had taught her over the past two months.In fact, were it not for his teaching, she would have been much too frightened to even leave her apartment tonight.And, had she not been interrupted by Bane’s determination to be the hero for a change, she would have known how to deal with the situation all by herself.

Ahsoka looked around the neighborhood.Everyone seemed so happy about the news.Not only did Ahsoka feel anything but happiness, but a growing sense that something was…not right.Like there was one piece not quite fitting into place.The feeling seemed to grow with every minute they walked down the street, to the point where Ahsoka’s skin tingled.

Something was wrong.Wrong about what?The war, the planet, herself?She hadn’t the slightest clue.But whatever it was, it was certainly not to be celebrated over.

Worrying about this dark sense inside her made Ahsoka nearly neglect to realize that Bane had asked her a question.

“You know what?I got to say, I’m happy.”

“You’re happy…why?” Ahsoka asked.

“I’m happy that you’re going to be okay.”

“You are?”She frowned.Was this just the alcohol talking?Or had the alcohol loosened up all the things he never said?

“Yeah, I mean…I know you hate me and think I'm disgusting and all, but maybe you’ll be all right now.Get a nice job or even start a new career.It’s worth it, right?”

Ahsoka stared at him as she helped him sit down on a bench so they could wait for the train to arrive.“You think I hate you?Well, I hate your hat, if you consider that the same thing.”

“It’s okay, little bit.You can go ahead and hate me.Everyone else already hates me.”He set the now empty bottle on the ground between his legs.

“Isn’t that a big surprise,” she muttered.

“I just wish more people liked me…you know?It’s so lonely sometimes.”

“You hurt and kill people for a living.Not the most likable profession.”

He sighed and, much to Ahsoka’s shock and surprise, rested his head on her shoulder.She tensed at first, having not expected this from Bane at all, and she dreaded how much more he was going to spill emotionally before his train arrived.

“It’s so lonely, and I’m so unhappy…” he said softly.

“Just a minute ago you said you were happy…?”

“But that was then and now I just realized how lonely I am and I’m unhappy all over again.It’s so lousy, you know?Someday I’m going to die alone and no one will miss me when I’m gone and that will be all my fault,” he cried.

Ahsoka’s eyes widened.She slowly reached her arm around Bane and patted him on the back.“Uh, there, there…it gets easier.You told me that once, remember?”

“I lied!It just gets harder and harder.”

She patted him again, not knowing what else to do.“If that were true, I’d be dead.Come on, you were just saying how I’m better off than I was two months ago.Now can you please stop crying on my shoulder?It’s going to stain.”

“Right.”He sat up and wiped his face on his sleeve before glancing up at the tracks.“Must be my train.I’m going.”

“Who knows when we’ll run into each other again.”Ahsoka shrugged.“Though it would be a real shame if I had to see your ugly face one more time.”

He frowned.“Oh yeah?Well, it would be a real shame if I had to put up with your stupid music and stupid jokes one more time.”

“My jokes are hilarious and, unlike you, I don’t listen to garbage.”

“I’m leaving, good night.”He stood up a little too fast.

“I don’t hate you, by the way!” she called out as he walked off to catch his train.“It’s just the hat that ruins it.”

“Oh, shut up!”

She tried to smile as she got up and started the walk back home, but the feeling from before remained still.Luckily it was not getting worse, but Ahsoka could not shake it away.Maybe the events from tonight had simply shaken her up a little.

If the Force was trying to tell her something, what was it?Whatever the message was, Ahsoka wished it could be sent a little clearer.Even after she returned to her apartment, showered, and meditated before bed, nothing changed.

Was something currently happening?Had something already happened?

Or was something about to happen?

Ahsoka lay wide awake all night, disturbed by the slightest tinge of worry and dread.Not enough to make her anxious or panicked, but just enough that she could not relax and indulge in a few small comforts.

Maybe it was nothing…

 


	8. Chapter 8

Coruscant had not been the same since the announcement of Grievous’ death.People were still happy that the war was close to ending, but Ahsoka sensed another level of tension as well.It settled in deeper as soon as the hype and celebration had ended, which took no longer than a few days.

It started as whispers, but it grew over time.Whispers about the corruption in the Senate.Whispers about how the Jedi Order had become tainted by the war.There was even talk of a possible uprising against the Republic, now that it had been so crippled and beaten down by the war.

Truth was, Ahsoka knew some of those rumors were true.

All the more reason she could never use the Force in front of others.It was too risky.

One morning, Ahsoka felt that she could not take it any longer.She had to talk to Anakin again, whether or not he was ready to listen.Even just hearing his voice felt like it would be enough for her.Anything to have someone who might understand the things Ahsoka had been feeling since Grievous’ death, who might give even the smallest reminder that it would be all right and someday they might see each other again.Maybe even hearing her old nickname again, ‘Snips,’ would do the trick.

She remembered that a few months ago, Bane gave her the code for Anakin’s comm.So it should still be saved on her comm back at the apartment.Ahsoka could not get her mind off of it during the rest of her shift at work.As soon as she was done for the day she took the first bus back to her street.

_I’ve put this off too long.I need to know how he’s been.What life in the Temple is like.How the war has been for him now that it’s almost over._

The sense that something was wrong through the Force had worsened today, and seemed to grow even worse as she went inside and changed out of her work clothes and into a casual outfit.In fact, over the past day, the sense had been strong enough to make her physically ill.When Ahsoka felt ready, she finally got out her comm.Sure enough, there it was.The code Bane gave her.Her hand began to shake as she wondered if the answers she was about to receive would not be what she hoped or expected.It clouded her thinking.

She shut her eyes before she pushed the button.Ahsoka waited nearly a full minute for Anakin to answer.

Nothing.She frowned.

A message appeared on the comm. _“Invalid code input_.”

“What the hell?Why would it be invalid?!Unless…”Then it dawned on her.“Bane.”

It took her longer than she had hoped to find where Bane was staying.She had visited here only once, during a training session when partway through they had to make a quick stop at Bane’s apartment to pick up some supplies they would need.She had a sharp memory, but her mind was still clouded by the worry of what might happen, or what might already be happening.

She should have figured Bane’s apartment would not be in the best condition.She still turned up her nose as she used the Force to unlock the door and step inside.The place was filthy but scarcely had any items inside.Smelled of strong alcohol as well.Lying on the bed, a hat covering his eyes, lay a familiar figure.Ahsoka glared daggers at him.

“Bane!I think you have some explaining to do.”

He lifted his hat.“Oh, I thought I heard someone come in.”

Ahsoka walked up to him and punched him in the stomach.“That’s what you get for lying to me!”

He sat up.“That hurt.”

“Good!Because now, since you lied to me, I can’t talk to him anymore.You gave me a fake code and let me believe it was real!”

Bane sighed and slowly got up.“I probably deserved that, then.”

“Yeah, _probably_ …”She crossed her arms.“Why did you lie to me?”

“None of your business?”He put on his hat.“Literally.We’re no longer doing business with each other, so I have no reason to tell you why.”

“Here’s a reason.There’s some trust between us.We’ve come a long way from where we were months ago.”

Bane frowned as he lightly touched where she had hit him, feeling for any cracked ribs.“All this ‘we’ stuff is weirding me out.”

“I only mean that before you took the job training me, you would have killed me at any time if you got the chance. And I would have done the same.It’s not like that anymore.That says something, doesn’t it?”

“That says nothing.And it certainly doesn’t say that I have to tell you why I gave you that fake code.”

Ahsoka could not believe what she was hearing.She was already starting to hate his guts all over again, reversing the effect of whatever had happened during their training.

“Whatever.I’m out of here.”Tempted to say something cruel to add to it, but ultimately deciding against it in the happenstance that Bane would later use it against her, Ahsoka turned to leave.Night had already fallen on Coruscant.Ahsoka felt a cool breeze in the air, a bit unusual this early.

Her hopes of any contact with Anakin now dashed, she had to wonder what was left to hope for.What if this dread she felt warned her of something in the future?How could she keep going and find more hope when she knew something terrible was coming?And if it had already happened or was already happening, why would she be able to sense it?It’s not like there was anything she could do about it.

Just thinking about it made the illness worsen.What the hell was going on?

“You don’t look well,” Bane said.

“I’m fine…” She pulled her hood over her head.If she was dizzy and having stomachaches, like hell she was going to let him know.

“You’re probably dehydrated from working all the time.”

“I’m not—”She almost didn’t catch the water bottle he threw at her.“Uh, thanks?Don’t think I’m any less mad at you.”

“I figured.So, you were leaving?”

“Yeah. Right.” She tucked the water bottle under her arm.As she left she glanced outside.Something caught her eye as she glanced up at the large holoscreen not far away from the building.It was displaying live footage of something going on in the upper district.Judging by the fire and smoke, it must have been some sort of terrorist attack.

She glanced up again when she recognized familiar structure.Then, as a slight wave of panic flooded over her, and her senses slowed and took longer than usual to process what was happening, and her head swarmed and her hands shook uncontrollably, Ahsoka stared up at the holoscreen in horror.

_The Jedi Temple._

_The Temple is burning._

Her vision clouded with tears.Ahsoka felt like someone was choking her.Who would attack the Temple, and why?How long ago had this started happening?

How many Jedi were inside?

This could be what she had been sensing all along.And now it had finally happened and she was just in time to see it on a fucking holoscreen.

“Oh gods…”She covered her mouth.“Oh no.No…”

A heavy weight tore her heart in two.Whatever had happened at the Temple was much worse than Ahsoka thought it was.She could feel it.The Force telling her that this was far more than just a section of the Jedi Temple burning down after an attack.

Her whole body shook and she hugged herself, trying to continue walking out of the apartment building.Now the fact that she could not contact Anakin hurt even more.Something terrible could have happened to him.

A dark thought plagued her…if Anakin had been seriously hurt, or even killed, would she even be able to sense it?

“Hey, Tano.”

Ahsoka turned around, wanting to shout at Bane, but she had lost the energy.Tears ran down her cheeks as she stood, huddled over, not having the slightest idea what she was going to do.

“Uh…you all right?” Bane asked, just before he glanced up and noticed the holoscreen as well, just before it cut to other news from another area of Coruscant.He stared up, as if it took him a few moments to process what he just saw.

“I…need to go…” Ahsoka backed away.

“No.You’re not going anywhere, little bit.Too dangerous.”He walked up to her.

“But, the Temple.I need to go.Help search for survivors.”Tears flowed down her cheeks.“I need to help save them.”

“They wouldn’t let you.You’re just a kid.”He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.“I’m sure it’s under control.”

“I have to go…!”She covered her face as she felt her heart being broken for reasons she did not even understand yet.When Bane led her back inside the apartment and sat her down in the chair, she didn’t fight back.All the resistance had abandoned her, leaving her with a strange sense of emptiness and brokenness.

“I’ll keep the news on.Try to find out what’s going on,” she heard Bane say.“In the meantime, you should stay here until you’ve calmed down.Got it?”

Ahsoka stammered slightly when she spoke next.“Not like you care at all.”

Bane shrugged.“I never said I did.Maybe I’m just curious.This is big news.Big news means big money.And it would be irresponsible for me to let you go running off on a night like this.I’m not that foolish.”

For a second or two, Ahsoka had almost thought he would counteract her statement by admitting that, even in a small twisted way, he did care.But, she supposed, that would be far too much to ask of someone like Cad Bane.Typical that he would only be thinking of how an event such as this brought on an opportunity for extra money.

Ahsoka Tano curled up in the chair, the image of the burning Temple in front of her, haunting her mind.It would never leave her alone.


	9. Chapter 9

Cad Bane had never felt all that comfortable with his new job.Jedi never hired him to do work.Not even undercover work to deliver secret information.Maybe it happened in a rare while to other bounty hunters, but to Bane it was unheard of.Not that that surprised him, given his history with the Jedi.

Especially a Jedi like _Skywalker_.

To Skywalker, and the Jedi, Bane was a terrorist.A poison.The last sort of scum they would want to be associated with, much less hiring.

As young Tano lay curled up in the chair, knees tucked against her chest and cheeks stained with dried tears, Bane kept an eye on the news by watching holovision.The earliest reports of the Jedi Temple burning had arrived just earlier that night—within minutes that Tano realized something was wrong.

Of course, the news could never be relied on, Bane knew that.But it might lead to some clue as to what the hell happened at the Temple.So far there was nothing besides the leaked footage.

The holovision had only been on for several minutes when Bane’s comm went off.It was Skywalker.Bane answered it immediately, surprised that Skywalker would call him now of all times.But Bane also felt relief that his employer, who had yet to pay the rest of what he owed Bane for the job, was still alive.Bane really hated it when people who owed him money got killed off.

_“Bane, follow the coordinates I’m about to send to you.I will meet you there in one hour with the rest of your payment,”_ Skywalker said.

“Understood.”Bane frowned slightly.Something was… _not right_ about Skywalker’s voice.He didn’t sound like himself.More detached, isolated, apathetic.Where was the Jedi whose tone always indicated that he was one step short of breaking Bane’s neck with his bare hands?But given the circumstances and all, Bane understood, if only a little.“And I’m assuming we won’t be meeting at the Temple?”

There was a slight pause on the other end.

_“Don’t be late,”_ he said curtly before the signal was cut.

Bane returned to look in on Tano in the other room.She was still shaking and had begun muttering quietly to herself.He couldn’t blame her.The place she had grown up in her whole life was being destroyed, with no explanation given.Poor kid.

“I have a small errand to run,” Bane said.“Should be back in a couple hours.”

“What if I’d rather not be alone?”

“Huh?”He frowned.That was a weird thing for Tano to say…oh, fuck it.Everyone was acting weird today.

“Can the errand wait a bit?” Tano snapped.She rubbed her arms, digging her fingernails against her skin.

“‘Fraid not.Look, my butler droid is shut down in the back room.He’ll keep you company.”He pulled on his leather coat.“Oh, and don’t go anywhere.”

She glared at him.

“I’m serious.If you go anywhere before I get back, I’ll—”

“I _get_ it,” Tano said coldly.

Without another word, Bane left her alone.He put in the coordinates and made his way to the meeting point, all the while wondering what Skywalker was up to.Why Skywalker sounded that way, and in light of what happened at the Temple.

Maybe Skywalker didn’t even know what was going on yet.It would explain how he brushed aside Bane’s comment on it.Or maybe he really did know, and needed the distraction of giving Bane his full payment to temporarily escape the disaster.

Bane remembered how that face-to-face conversation had gone.It had taken place months ago now.

* * *

_“There is someone I need you to find for me,” Anakin Skywalker said._

_Bane eyed him carefully.Skywalker had tracked him down to a shipping yard on Nal Hutta, where Bane had just finished a job for the Hutts.Of course, Bane didn’t buy Skywalker’s story until he filled in the bits and pieces._

_“My former Padawan, Ahsoka Tano…she left the Order.I have no idea where she is or what she’s doing.”_

_“Say no more.I’ll have her hauled back to the Temple in no time.”Bane crossed his arms._

_“What?No, no, that’s not what I want!” Skywalker cried.“I want you to find where she is and make sure she’s doing all right.”_

_“You’re asking me to just check up on her?”_

_Skywalker stepped back slightly.His hair had grown longer since Bane last saw him; he looked slightly paler, and thinner.There was pain in his eyes.The war had not treated Skywalker well._

_“Not just that.I know Ahsoka will have a very hard time surviving on her own. Let’s just say the Jedi Order doesn’t teach many necessary life skills.”_

_The word ‘Jedi’ had sounded like it carried more than a slight resentment.Interesting; at least they had one thing in common now._

_“Oh, don’t tell me.”Bane sighed._

_“Teach her anything she needs to know so she’ll be all right on her own.I’ll trust you to know what she needs to learn and how.Keep me in touch with how she does.”_

_“What’s all this for, anyway?”_

_“I just…” Skywalker looked away.“I just need to know she’s safe.That I didn’t send her to her…” He stopped.“Never mind._ You _wouldn’t understand that.”_

_“No.Not really.”_

* * *

A strange job, very strange actually.  But it was a job Bane couldn’t refuse because the pay was high.  So he found where young Tano lived and began his work.

As soon as that happened, something in Skywalker began to change.Bane noticed it when he met Skywalker face-to-face again, at the Jedi’s request.

Unlike before, Skywalker had been full of questions about Tano.Wanting to know what sort of job she had, activities she did in her free time, the sort of people she hung out with, and on and on.And on top of that, Skywalker was not just interested in what she did all the time.He also wanted Bane to keep track of any questions or statements she made about the Order, Anakin, the war, and anything relating to them.He wanted to know if Tano expressed any regrets about leaving, or any desire to come back.

It made Bane begin to wonder, how much more was to this job than just Ahsoka Tano’s safety?How much had he really been paid to do?

Skywalker’s health did not improve over the months, as Bane continued Tano’s training and discovered that his own patience with teenagers was being trained as well.Skywalker looked more and more weary.He wasn’t getting enough sleep or enough to eat.And it was getting more obvious every time the Jedi and the bounty hunter met for an update on the job.And Bane could have sworn he saw scars on Skywalker’s left wrist when his sleeve was lowered just enough to reveal it.

He was caught in the middle of something terrible between these two.The Master and the former Apprentice.And it was dangerous, not to mention extremely awkward and unpredictable.

On the bright side, it made good money.

Then came the day Skywalker asked Bane to give Tano his comm number.

* * *

_“She needs to hear me talk to her.  She needs to come see me.  If I can talk to her and explain everything…then she would come back, wouldn’t she?”_

_“Where did you pick up an idea like that?” Bane asked._

_He thought he heard Skywalker mutter something about a ‘dream’ and ‘the Chancellor,’ but he couldn’t be sure.“She kept the Padawan braid I sent as proof that I had hired you.That means something.And she told you that she misses me…that means something too!”Skywalker had not made any eye contact with Bane during the entire conversation.He kept rubbing the glove covering his mechno arm, pacing around, like he was uncomfortable in his own skin._

Everyone seems to be going insane these days, _Bane thought._

_“I get it,” Bane muttered, “you just want her back so you’ll stop feeling like a failure.”_

_That statement seemed to dig a lot deeper than Bane intended._

_“You don’t know anything!” Skywalker snapped.“She_ will _come back!She_ will _want to come back.And I’ll make sure of it…I’ll do whatever it takes so she can understand why she needs to come back…”_

_“Yeah, right.Gotcha.”_

* * *

As soon as he left, Bane changed the comm number Skywalker gave him.  Whatever was currently pushing Skywalker right now, Tano had no business dealing with it.  It would mess her up to hear Skywalker talking like that.  And Bane did not want to deal with Tano being messed up again.

And now this.The attack on the Temple.Skywalker’s odd tone of voice.The vague explanation for their meeting. Bane understood the necessity of all the secrecy.But the timing was all off.It didn’t make sense.He would have thought Skywalker would be begging to know that Tano was safe from the attack, but there had not even been the slightest mention of her.

Whatever it was, Bane knew it wasn’t going to be good.When this was over, he hoped to leave Coruscant finally.The Master would have to confront the Apprentice on his own terms. 

* * *

 

 It was nightfall by then.  Bane arrived at his destination as indicated by the coordinates, chilled by the night air as his olfactory senses picked up black smoke nearby.  He stared down in disbelief.

_This can’t be right._ He checked again, then re-checked.This is exactly where Skywalker had asked to meet him.

The Jedi Temple.Specifically, the Processional Way, connecting the Precinct to the Temple. 

A slight chill crawled up Bane’s spine.The Temple was still aflame in several large areas.He could see corpses on the ground around the exterior…some of them were younglings.And were those _clone troopers_?What the hell was going on?

At the Processional Way, Bane could see around two dozen clone troopers standing in formation at the top of the long boulevard, directly in front of the entrance to the Temple.In front of them stood a figure with a black cloak covering his head, blue lightsaber drawn.Bane could only assume it was Anakin Skywalker.

Bane could usually figure confusing scenarios out fairly quickly, make sense of the information in front of him and arrive to a logical conclusion.It was one of his best skills as a hunter.It was just what he did. 

But this.Made no sense at all.

He couldn’t tell if the clone troopers were protecting Skywalker—and if so, from whom? Clones who decided to rebel against the Jedi?—or if they were holding him at gunpoint.Either way, it was already too late for Bane to turn back.He landed the speeder, feeling more chills through his body as the smell of smoke increased.

It seemed extremely inappropriate, seeing how the backdrop was a burning Temple, but Bane couldn’t help himself.He walked up to the hooded figure and announced, “I’m here to collect my payment.”

He pulled back his hood.Skywalker looked the same, save for his eyes.They were discolored to an orangish-yellow hue.“Not yet.”

“What do you mean, _not yet_?You said—”

“I know what I said.And you will receive the rest of your payment…soon.”His voice was cold, void of emotion, but seemed tainted with a rage that could break free at any given moment.

Bane would never admit how much that scared him.

“Oh don’t tell me.You’re here to explain how you can’t get the money because of…this burning issue?”Bane gestured to the Temple behind Skywalker.It cast a fiery glow around Skywalker’s shape, reflected off the helmets and rifles of the clones.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Bane.”Skywalker flexed his right hand for a moment, then stopped.

“Then state your business.Come on, I don’t have all night.”

“Before I give you the rest of your payment, there is one more thing I need your help with.And I will pay you extra for it.”

“It’s unprofessional for you to add more to the job on last minute notice, you know.This is the last time I’ll take a job from you, _Jedi_ ,” Bane growled, trying to hide how he was growing more scared of Skywalker every second.

To his surprise, Skywalker began laughing.He grinned wildly, curls hanging over his eyes.“Oh, Bane…’Jedi.’It sounds so silly now…hearing you call me that.”

_So he’s not a Jedi…then what is he?Did he join the rebel clone troopers?Did Skywalker…betray the Jedi Order?Or am I missing something here?_

“Sorry, I seem to be behind on the current headlines.So what are you, then?”

“You’re a smart man.Haven’t you figured it out?”

“Figured out what?That you’re ripping me off?”But Skywalker’s words had chilled him to the bone.

_What is he saying…?_

“Ripping you off?Of course not.For this last job, I’ll give you one-and-a-half million credits.”

That should have gotten Bane’s attention.But he was a lot more interested in the Temple.The Jedi.The dead younglings and dead clones and the clones guarding Skywalker.And it all painted a dark, ugly, menacing picture that was only beginning to fall into place.Many of the pieces were missing…

And Bane was starting to get the feeling that _he_ was one of those pieces…

“What do you want me to do?”

“Simple, really.”Skywalker’s smile faded immediately, and he clenched his right hand.“I want you to bring my former Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, back to the Temple.Bring her to me.Alive.”


	10. Chapter 10

Ahsoka’s heart ached.It felt heavy with grief and loss she had no way of understanding.All she knew was that there were loved ones who had been taken before their time, and the Temple was under attack.Whether the two were connected or one had happened as a result of another, she could only speculate.

There were so many that Ahsoka could not even begin to ponder specific people who had been killed.Or what had happened to Council members like Master Plo Koon, Mace Windu, Yoda, or Obi-Wan.Or Anakin…was he all right?Was he safe?Was he even still alive?

After some time, Ahsoka turned the holovision back on.But as she expected, the media seemed to be as clueless as her.She felt her hands shaking.She finally managed to stop crying and headed to the fresher to wash her face.No point in overthinking and making this worse than it already was.Once she looked somewhat presentable, she found Bane’s techno-service droid in the back room and switched it on.

“Pardon my saying this, but you don’t look well at all.In fact, you look miserable,” said the techno-service droid.He had his hands clasped together as he looked up at Ahsoka, almost thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I know…” she said, no emotion in her tone.The physical ache in her chest was growing.Every minute became more of a burden.

“Can I interest you in some hot tea?Always a healthy solution to a bad day.”

She smiled sadly and sat on the edge of the bed.“Bad day, yeah…I can’t remember my last good day.But sure.Hot tea sounds fine.Thanks.”

The droid hesitated.“I wasn’t actually going to make you tea.I only suggested that you have some.”

“Oh, okay…?”She stood up to make some hot water.“You know, usually when you say something like that, you’re implying you’re going to make them the tea?”

“I don’t make tea for anyone.I’m not a butler droid!”   
“Okay! Sheesh…asshole.You take after your master,” Ahsoka muttered.

“Mr. Bane?Oh, I’m nothing like him.I actually listen when people are talking about their feelings, and I pick up after myself.”

“Do you lie on purpose and then act like it’s your fault they hate you?”

“Of course not!And finally, I don’t wear a ridiculous hat to make myself feel better.”

“Well, at least you have that much going for you…what was your name again?”Ahsoka filled the teapot with water.

“Todo 360, techno-service droid.And I’ll have you know, I have a lot of things going for me, thank you very much.”

Ahsoka arched an eyebrow.No surprise where the droid had picked up a chip on his shoulder like that.On the bright side, at least he provided a bit of a distraction…

“All right then, Todo.I’m Ahsoka Tano.Bane may have mentioned me.”

“Oh, yes!You’re the Togrutan teenager with no respect for her elders, loathsome taste in mainstream music, and a chronic attitude problem.”

Ahsoka laughed.So _that_ was how Bane had described her to his little droid.“One of those is right.Figure out which.”

Deciding that she enjoyed Todo’s company, Ahsoka continued to chat with him while she sipped her tea.She learned about Todo’s involvement in Bane’s job stealing a Holocron, as well as that infamous day Bane led a posse of bounty hunters to take a group of Senators hostage.She learned of how Bane first found Todo taken apart, stuffed in a crate and left in the dump, before he put the droid back together all on his own…that had been almost seven years ago now.And, Ahsoka told Todo what she could of her own story.But there was little she could tell that did not make her cry even more.And she was done crying for the day.

When the conversation died down, Ahsoka tried to get some sleep.But every time she closed her eyes, the heartbreak and sounds of distress she could sense through the Force jolted her awake.Eventually she gave up and tried meditating to clear her mind.The ache still remained, but she was getting used to it by now.

It wasn’t until after her meditation that something dawned on Ahsoka.Something that, as soon as it hit her, left her very unsettled.

Bane said he would be back in a couple hours.Ahsoka remembered what time it had been when he left.That was almost _six_ hours ago now.

Ahsoka rubbed her arms and, of course, could not help but glance out the window, but saw nothing except for the regular traffic.It was the middle of the night.

How had she lost track of the hours like that?Had the sense of loss been enough for her to disassociate from time completely?Had it driven her to that point of madness already?

_Bane has never done this sort of thing before.He was always hard on me when I would show up late…so what’s going on?_

“Something the matter?” Todo asked from behind her.

Ahsoka turned around.“He should have been back by now.”

“Unlikely he’s in trouble.If he needed assistance, he would have contacted me at once.”

“I guess.”She shrugged.She supposed, if it came down to it, she could try to sense Bane through the Force to see if he were in any danger.It was a long shot.“Of course, he didn’t leave me any way to contact him.Just my luck,” she sighed.

Then, suddenly, it hit her.And when it did, Ahsoka couldn’t stay standing.She felt sick to her stomach.

_What if Bane abandoned me?_

_What if he decided he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and just got up and left me here?_

The more Ahsoka dwelled on this possibility, the more it seemed to parallel her current reality.Her lingering hopes faded away.Bane would not hesitate to get rid of the apartment, or his techno-service droid.Both could be easily replaced.Or Bane could have been using the droid to distract Ahsoka long enough for his escape…explaining why he told her the droid would keep her company.

Maybe she was finally alone again.All on her own in a strange world that was growing darker with every minute.

In the end, everyone had abandoned her.

* * *

_Six hours earlier_

.

Cad Bane didn’t fully comprehend what Skywalker meant at first.Then he repeated what he had heard.

“Bring Tano back to the Temple.”

“Alive, but unconscious if necessary.For one million and a half credits,” Skywalker finished.“Plus the rest of your payment from your last job.”

Bane frowned.“No strings attached?”

“Of course not.After this, you can walk away like none of it ever happened.”

The clones had frozen still and it seemed all of them were watching the Duros bounty hunter, anticipating what he was going to do next.Fire burned behind them, ravaging the last of the Jedi Temple.

This was wrong…everything about this was wrong.Out of place, a puzzle.The Jedi Order was gone, the clones had killed so many Jedi.And Skywalker had led them to do it.

Bane realized that now.This was Skywalker’s doing.

“Why do you need her back?” Bane questioned, figuring it was safe enough to ask.

“Because…she needs me.”Skywalker’s expression quickly turned bitter, like Bane had struck a nerve.“Every apprentice needs a master.What’s the apprentice without the master?We all need one.Master said so.Master said she needs me and I’m the only one who can make her understand…that _this_ is the only way things can be.She’ll be just like me.She’ll help me discover the secret, and then she’ll share my power with me.And then we’ll be happy, forever and ever.Master was right about everything.”

“Uh… _what_?”

One thing was for certain.Anakin Skywalker was not the person Bane once thought he was.Whatever changes had come upon him had stolen the good and the light Bane once saw in him.There was only darkness now.Darkness, and a sick, twisted rage.

If he brought Tano to the Temple, Skywalker would want her to become just like him…become whatever sort of dark, frightening creature who now stood in his place.

For the price of a million and a half credits, little Tano would suffer the same fate.

_That stupid half-pint.It’s her fault I got dragged into this whole mess.She’ll owe me one after this blows over._

“Sorry, but I respectfully decline your proposal.”

“Really?You’re turning down a million and a half?”Skywalker cocked his head to the side, his lower lip jutting out in a childish pout.

“This is a personal affair I’m already too involved in.Find someone else.”

His voice grew soft and sweet, like he were speaking to a youngling.“But that’s the whole point.You’re the only person who knows exactly where she is.”

_Oh, no…didn’t think of that._

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“But I can feel it.I can feel that you’ve been in Ahsoka’s company within the past few hours.You’ve spoken with her recently too.”Skywalker stepped closer, extended one hand slowly toward Bane, as if he wanted to touch him.He smiled.“You know where she is.Why don’t you just take me to her, or bring her here, so we can get this over with?”

“I said No.”Bane stepped back towards the speeder.

With that, Skywalker sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.“I’m sorry…I thought someone like you would take the job in no time.I thought…with you working for me, it would be so much easier.But we all have breaking points.”He clenched his jaw and suddenly snarled at him.“I just _hate_ that!”

Bane startled a bit.“You know what?Forget the rest of my payment.I’m gone.”

Skywalker snapped his fingers and the clones moved in, surrounding the speeder in seconds.Bane straightened, balancing his right hand just above his holster, holding his breath.He had been hoping it would not come down to this.

“I’m giving you one more chance to accept the job,” Skywalker snapped.“Bring _my Padawan_ to me.”

_I’ve got to get out of here.Get off Coruscant.After this I’ll probably never come back._

He made his decision in a split second.Bane drew his blaster and shot the clone closest to Skywalker, then the other standing near the speeder.Before Skywalker had given the order to open fire, Bane ignited his rocket boots and accelerated nearly ten feet into the air.

“Dammit, Bane!You never cooperate!”

“Sorry to end business like this, Skywalker!”

“That name doesn’t mean anything to me anymore,” he laughed wildly.He snapped his fingers at the other clones.“Bring him down, but don’t kill him.”

Bane shot down at more of them, killing two more clones.The others fired several blasts at him, which he was careful to slip out of just in time.But he knew it was over already.There were too many of them.If he had ever stood a chance, Skywalker would have jumped into the fight already.

As he dodged a blast aimed for his head, another grazed him in the upper back, shattering the metal container holding his breathing tubes together.Another blast struck him in his leg.The rocket boot gave out and Bane felt himself drop down to the ground.He tried landing upright but the impact knocked him over.

_That wasn’t my most thought out plan,_ he thought.He blamed seeing the burning Jedi Temple as having distorted his train of thought.

A clone planted his foot on Bane’s back, pinning him down.He saw Skywalker—unless that wasn’t really his name anymore—walk up to him, then kneel down so Bane could look him in the eye.

“I offered you a million and a half credits, and you turned it down.That’s just depressing.”

“Like I said, didn’t want to get involved in a personal matter.”

“Too late.You already are.”Mechno fingers squeezed Bane’s chin, forcing him to look up.“I’m changing the offer because the last one wasn’t good enough for you.This time, in reward for telling me where my Padawan is, I won’t kill you.”

Bane clenched his fists.

“Nice try.But you can’t kill me as long as I know where she is.”

“Maybe not.But when this is over, I sure as hell can make you wish you were dead.And by the way, from now on you will address me as Lord Vader.”With that, he stood up and nodded at one of the clones, his figure silhouetted as fire engulfed the scene behind him.Then everything turned to black.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter includes some graphic violence.

It seemed like days had passed, although it had only been hours.

He was subtly aware of two clone troopers grabbing him by the arms and dragging him down a hallway.This continued on for several minutes.Their hands felt cold.

His mind slipped in and out of consciousness.Faint signals here and there reminded him that he was still alive.The taste of blood in his mouth.The metal binders on his wrists, scratching the small of his back.The pounding in his head.

Then Bane saw him, standing in the middle of a room with a bright light.The man who _used_ to be Anakin Skywalker,now just a shadow of him.Lord Vader.

Bane was pulled forward and forced to kneel in front of Vader.Vader stepped closer so he was only a few inches away.Bane resisted slightly, not liking the idea too much at the moment, especially given their ‘interesting’ history with each other.Then again, if that’s what Vader had in mind, Bane would take Vader’s methods of interrogation over the clones’ any day.

The clones stepped back.Bane felt Vader staring down at him.

“Has he said anything yet?” Vader asked the clones, gnashing his teeth as he did.His voice was cold yet filled with a terrible rage waiting to happen.

“Not a word, Lord Vader.”

Bane opened his good eye, as the other was too swollen.He glared up at Vader, struggling to breathe.He no longer saw any traces of the Jedi he once knew.As if Skywalker had been a mere mask while Vader hid underneath.

“Oh, Cad.Look at what you make me do, going to all this trouble.”Vader sighed.

He shivered at hearing the use of his first name.It sounded surreal, coming from Vader.

Vader smacked Bane in the jaw, turning his head to the side.The color green speckled the floor.

“You know that I will let you go as soon as you tell me where Ahsoka is.You won’t have to endure another minute of this.Just say the word, and it will all be over.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Bane muttered.“I can’t wait to see how many other Jedi you plan to have me bring back to you.Should be fun.”

A flash of light glinted in Vader’s eyes, then he smacked Bane again, this time so hard that Bane was knocked to the ground.The clones grabbed him and forced him to kneel again.

“Where is she, Cad?Where did my Snips run off to?” he cooed.“Awww. Did she get lost?Is she scared?Where did you keep her hiding from her master? Why did you lie to her and not let her talk to me?”

Bane lowered his head and didn’t look up for nearly half a minute, watching blood drip from his mouth to the floor. His only focus was on staying conscious.

“Do you want me to do to you what Count Dooku did to me—cut off your arm or leg? And I’ll do it slowly. Would that get you to talk?”

If Bane spoke now, then he would have went through all of this for no reason.As if he could throw away the last of his pride at a time like this.He had gone too far to even consider backing down.

“You know, if my Snips cares about you as much as I hope she does, she’ll figure out pretty soon what’s going on.”Vader smiled.“She’ll realize you’re in danger and she’ll want to rescue you.When she does I’ll be here, waiting for her.”

_Dammit. He’s right._ Bane had used this exact same tactic on Skywalker once, that is, back when he was still Skywalker.During his job on Devaron, Bane had captured and briefly electrocuted Ahsoka after they briefly dueled.Not to scare her or hurt her, of course, but to use her as bait for Skywalker.Same tactic, different cast of characters. This time, as much as he did not want to admit it, Bane was the bait.

“So, either you tell me where my Snips is.Or I keep you alive until she gets here.”Vader shrugged.“Obviously, the first way is quicker.But the second way, we still have time for our own little fun.”

Bane looked away.

“Tano doesn’t care about me,” he said.“If you keep me alive, she’ll think I abandoned her, and then she’ll be long gone.”At least, Bane hoped that was the truth.He hoped Ahsoka despised him enough that she would sooner save herself than try to rescue him.He hoped she was smart enough to figure things out and get away from Coruscant, and never come back for him.At least if Ahsoka survived, some of his work would pay off in that it would keep her safe.

_If that kid is stupid enough to think she can get me out of this, I’ll kill her._

* * *

“It would be completely pointless to stay up waiting for Mr. Bane to come back,” Todo 360 said.  “You’ll be better off getting some much needed rest while you wait.”

Ahsoka agreed, reluctantly.She grew more worried with each hour that passed.Every possibility passed through her mind and made her sick with dread.The longer she stayed up, the more she felt as if she should not just be sitting around waiting, that she should be somewhere else, doing something, _anything_.Not curling up on the couch watching late-night holovision soap operas until her eyes could not stay open, not from the peace sleep would bring, but from physical exhaustion wearing her down.

When she finally managed to fall asleep, she had nightmares.It had been several weeks since she got those, but Ahsoka couldn’t say it surprised her.There were nightmares about Wasskah, about being tortured on Zygerria and Florrum.The campaign on Geonosis.The Citadel.Too many places to count.

But then the nightmares began to change.They were not images of things that had already happened, but things she was afraid would happen.Everything she feared about the future.Ahsoka saw the place where the Jedi Temple once stood, now empty.She saw Anakin engulfed in shadow, trapped in a fire that ate at him alive.She saw death across the whole galaxy.People were on the run, being lined up and shot, tossed into dark caves to be slaughtered.Death was everywhere.

And then, as the dream continued on, it changed slightly.Ahsoka began to see faces and hear voices she never would have expected.People who had either never appeared in her dreams, or hadn’t for a long time.People like Asajj Ventress, the former Separatist leader, now a bounty hunter who had even helped Ahsoka when she was a fugitive.And Barriss, Ahsoka’s old companion who betrayed her—with everything else Ahsoka had been struggling with, she tried to keep any thoughts about Barriss out of her mind, that mix of anger and grief that turned Ahsoka into a different person just by reflecting on it mere moments.And she dreamed about Bane, the bounty hunter she hated to love and loved to hate.

Ahsoka woke up with tears running down her cheeks, and she was shaking uncontrollably.As her gasps for air subsided into soft sobs, Ahsoka scrambled to find her pack of cigarettes.In the darkness, she quickly lit one and began to smoke, hoping it would help calm her down.

Now more than ever, Ahsoka wished Anakin were here.He would let her cry it out, then show her how to pick herself up and take the first step.That used to happen back in the day.Both of them got the nightmares, she remembered.

_Anakin…what do I do now?I know you’ll never answer because for all I know you could be dead right now, but…please tell me._ Maybe her little voice would finds its way through the Force, somehow.It had to.If not, then everything and everyone truly had abandoned her, even the Force itself.

Ahsoka made some more tea and looked around the kitchen for something to eat.No way she was getting more sleep tonight.She felt silly, raiding Bane’s apartment while he had left her for good.However, something about the way she had seen Bane in her dream unsettled her…it was very unlike him.Bane was not the type of person to cry out for help.

Todo stepped into the room.“If you need something to help with the night terrors, a cigarette is not nearly strong enough.”

“What?How would you know?”She stared.

“Luckily, I have a spare key.”Todo showed her a small cabinet containing several bottles of strong liquor, most all of which had already been opened.“They don’t make it go away, but they make it a little easier, if you’re not getting any sleep.Or so I’ve been told.I wouldn’t know.”

“But someone you know does.”Ahsoka glanced at one of the bottle labels before closing the cabinet.So Bane got nightmares too.Could she even say she was surprised?

Todo followed her out of the kitchen.“It’s dawn.Mr. Bane should have been back several hours ago.”

“Todo…”She sighed sadly.“I don’t think he’s coming back.”

The techno-service droid cocked his head to the side.“And why do you say that?”

“Isn’t it obvious?Look outside.It’s chaos out there, something horrible is about to happen, and he bailed on us.He left me!Just like everyone else!”She sat down in the chair.“Everyone leaves me…”

“But he left too many items of importance here.I’m sorry, but I know Mr. Bane much better than you do, and this logic is not adding up.”Ahsoka could have sworn the droid was trying to imitate the motion of puffing out one’s chest.“And besides, why would he leave his favorite techno-service droid behind?”

“Then what…”She thought back to her dream.“What if he _is_ in trouble?”

“He never contacted me about it,” Todo said curtly.

“What if he didn’t get the chance?What if he needs our help?”Of course…she had spent all this time wondering and worrying that someone else had abandoned her, it never occurred to her that Bane might have had something awful happen to him.

Ahsoka wanted to slap herself.How could she be so blind?

_If I have to get him out of a real mess and it’s all his fault, I’ll kill him._

Todo sighed and crossed his arms.

“I suppose you want us to be the ones to find him, then,” he said dryly.

“What else are we supposed to do, just sit around?I can’t do that.Not if there’s a chance we can do something to fix this.”Ahsoka grabbed her jacket.She needed to focus on what to do.Maybe it would be a good distraction.“Now help me, Todo.You’re going to fly the speeder.I’ll try to use the Force to find out where Bane is.If I can.”

* * *

Bane felt the knife against his arm, slowly pressing in until it began to draw blood.  He didn’t want to cry out in front of Vader, but he didn’t know how much longer he could stay in control of his emotions.

“I can’t believe you’ve lasted this long,” Vader said quietly.He sounded exhausted.Like it took every ounce of his strength just to stay awake as he watched the clones continue working on Bane.

Another clone pulled out a second knife and began to drag it across Bane’s stomach.Bane clenched his fists.

“Snips is lost.She’s scared.I can feel it…” Vader was muttering to himself.He began breathing heavily.“If something happens to her, it’s your fault.Your fault!You were supposed to protect her and make sure she would be ready when I came back for her.You were supposed to be the one to see that she was never far away from me.That was the whole point of hiring you.”

Bane stifled a scream as he felt the knife cut across his stomach again.“You know…seeing you _this_ pissed off, it’s almost worth it.”

“Snips should be here!She should be with _me_!” Vader snapped.He was shaking.“It’s the only way I can save her…she needs me…”He stepped forward and grabbed one of the knives.“If I don’t save her in time, it’s _your_ fault.”

“I can live with that,” Bane said, but he was losing his edge fast, and the blood loss was making him lightheaded.He knew, based on his own experience in torturing prisoners, that he did not have much longer before he would mentally break.It was only a matter of time.The clones knew what they were doing.Bane only hoped he would be dead before that happened.

“You scum…”Vader held the tip of the knife over Bane’s left eye.“Next time you say anything, I only want to hear where my Snips is. Otherwise your other eye goes out too.”

Instinctively, Bane tensed and braced himself for what was about to happen.As he did, however, one of the clones stepped in and approached Vader.

“Lord Vader, I apologize for interrupting, but there is an urgent transmission from the Chancellor.”

_The Chancellor?What the hell, don’t tell me he’s in on this too?_ Bane thought. _Great…_

Vader pulled the knife away with a snarl.“Urgent?” he sighed in frustration.“Just make sure he talks.We have to find Ahsoka, no matter what it takes.She’ll _die_ if I don’t find her.”A moment later, he stormed out of the room.

As Bane tried to focus on staying calm, preparing for the moment when he would breathe his last and be finished with, he felt a subtle awareness of the passage of time that had taken place since his capture.This had been going on for the entire night, he estimated.Which meant that right about now, dawn was rising on Coruscant.He wondered what the Jedi Temple looked like by now, wondered how many Jedi were still alive.Wondered what the Chancellor had summoned Vader for.And as his consciousness slowly began slipping away, he wondered what might have become of little Padawan Tano had he decided to turn her in, and how only a few months ago, he probably would have turned her in for free.

* * *

Vader knelt in front of the hologram of Lord Sidious.  “You summoned me, Master?”

_“I am sending you to the Mustafar system.I need you to eliminate the Viceroy hiding there.”_

Vader clenched his right fist, trying not to speak out of anger.It was Sidious’ orders that he stay on Coruscant to find Ahsoka in the first place.And now this?

“But, my Master…I must stay on Coruscant until I find Ahsoka.”

_“The Viceroy are a far more urgent matter at this time.Once they are wiped out, the war will finally be over, and our new Galactic Empire will be born.Your apprentice will not be far away.And when the time is right, she will come back to you.You must learn patience.”_

He took a deep breath, feeling perspiration trickle down his neck.Everything his master had said about Ahsoka had been right.Vader could feel that she was in grave danger, that something bad could happen to her.That by making her his apprentice again and passing on his new master’s teachings, he could make up for his abandonment of her.

Everything that had separated them could be mended again.Everything he had failed her in, he could make right again.They could be close like they used to be.They would live freely with no rules holding the down, bringing peace to the galaxy side by side, just like how they had always dreamed of.

_Don’t worry, Snips.I’ll find you.I can fix everything.I won’t fail you again, and I’ll protect you always._

_I’ll be here, waiting for you._

He slowly rose, pulled his hood over his head, and walked into the morning light of Coruscant that burned like a brilliant fire, setting the galaxy into turmoil and never-ending damnation.


	12. Chapter 12

Ahsoka meditated for almost a full hour.In the back of her mind, as she tried to search for Bane’s presence, she made a note to practice this technique more often, worried that she had grown rusty after not being with the Order for nearly half a year now.

Dawn rose on Coruscant, but it brought no light.Only a reminder of all the Jedi who would never see the sunrise again, and the rising darkness Ahsoka felt around her.

When she was finally able to sense Bane, something jolted through her body, like she had been stabbed.The feeling was so sudden and alarming that she did not even know if it was shock, or pain, or something else.Ahsoka gasped and gripped the edges of her seat in alarm.

“Todo, stop!” she cried out.

The techno-service droid pulled the speeder out of the lane.

“Is something the matter, Miss Tano?”

“I…think so.”She held her head.“Just give me a minute.I think I know where Bane is, but I have to try again.Something pulled me away at the last second.”

As she used the Force a second time, the stabbing sensation in her body drew closer.Ahsoka covered her mouth to hold back a cry as the pain worsened.This wasn’t just pain in the physical sense, she realized; it was also the pain of loneliness, despair, and abandonment.The weight of whatever had happened at the Jedi Temple was crashing down at her all at once, on top of this.In those moments, Ahsoka had never felt so alone.

Tears filled her eyes.She couldn’t take it anymore.It was too much.Holding back a scream, she let go and shut herself away.

“I know where he is,” she whispered.“The Jedi Temple.Lower levels.”What the hell was he doing down there?

_Oh, no.Bane…what’s happening?_

“Do you have an idea of how he got into trouble?” Todo asked.

“I don’t.”She shook her head.“But he’s in bad shape.I could feel it.He’s…dying.”

Todo glanced at her while driving the speeder.“Are you certain, Miss Tano?”

“Yes.The Force can sense things like that.He’s fading.It’s like…he’s giving up.That’s why it took me so long to find him.”She wiped her eyes.“Fuck…fuck, no.”

Ahsoka had been trying to hold herself together for two days.The sense of impending danger and tragedy with the end of the war.The burning Temple.The dead Jedi.Her former master.Her friends.The nightmares.And now Bane.

She could run, save herself.Get away from everything and start over.And she knew people who would do that.Hell, if Ahsoka and Bane had switched places, would he have done the same?Maybe.Probably.

But as soon as she considered it, Ahsoka realized she could never do that.A part of her still hated Bane.Hated what he did for money, hated the kind of person he was, and especially hated that her life had forced her to cooperate with scum like him.But another part of her saw the side of him that wasn’t so unlike her.The side that got nightmares at night, smoked cigarettes to keep calm, and was completely alone in a galaxy that took advantage of the lost and lonely.

She hated caring about that side of him.Even the idea of going out of her way for someone like Bane made her sick, especially when she knew he would never repay it.

But dammit, she _did_ care.And when Ahsoka cared, she always ended up caring too much.

Maybe Anakin was alive, maybe he wasn’t.Maybe some of the other Jedi had survived, and maybe they hadn’t.But one thing was for sure.As it stood, Ahsoka had only one companion in this galaxy, and said companion wore an ugly wide-brimmed hat.

_I know what I have to do._

“All right, Todo.I have a plan.”She took a deep breath.“I’ve been to that part of the Temple before.I can find Bane on my own, but I’ll need you as my backup.Depending on what happened to Bane.”

“If needed, I could cut off security, while keeping in communication with you.And we have extra thermal detonators if we need them.”

“Hopefully that won’t be necessary.I just don’t know what I’ll find.”At the last second, she took the detonators from Todo and put them on her belt.

_Hold on, Cad.You’d better not give up.I’ll be there soon._

_If you die on me, I really will be alone._

* * *

Bane did not know how long they left him in that position, whether they had stood around waiting for him to confess, or left the room and just kept an eye on him with the holocamera.  He did know that after a while, he felt his shoulders and wrists snap out of place.  The shock alone made him lose consciousness.  When he woke up, ice water was being poured on his face.  Familiar images crossed in front of him, reminding him of things they had done before, as if to scare him.  It worked, but at this point, even if Bane had decided to tell them where Ahsoka was after all, he might not be able to at all.  Speech was difficult, let alone processing what he was seeing and hearing.  He was losing his grip on reality.

Which made him wonder, in whatever part of him still could, if the clones were even doing this for information anymore.Were they doing this for entertainment?To cure boredom?Were they practicing for future prisoners who would have important information as well?Maybe all of those reasons.

The one small comfort existed that at least he did not go down without a fight.

_Why don’t they just get it over with and kill me?Why won’t they stop?I just want it to stop…_

Most of what he remembered next was completely blackness and a place so cold he began to shiver.As Bane realized after a long period of time, which he had instinctively assumed was meant to break him more, the clones had stored him away for the time being.Perhaps they were going to toss him into the bacta tank soon after, restore him physically so they could start all over again.Go figure.

A while later, confusion hit him.His senses were off.Something was very wrong.The room had shifted from darkness to light.

Bane looked up, trying to see who had come for him next.He pulled at the restraints slightly, trying to get the blood moving in his limbs again.

“I’ll never tell you…” He muttered, spitting up blood.

The figure approaching him, Bane discovered, was not a clone.The colors had to be wrong.Not to mention the height.It scared him.He had to prepare for the worst.

A voice rang out.Bane should recognize that voice.

“Cad?Can you hear me?”

He hesitated, then nodded slowly.Then he frowned.It was a voice he never thought he would hear again, and instilled emotions of frustration and endearing annoyance.

“Little bit…”He tried opening his swollen eye.“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Try not to talk too much.”

Bane felt the restraints released.He couldn’t hold up his own weight and collapsed, but he felt someone grab him and help lower him to a more comfortable position on the floor.It was Ahsoka, all right.He could see her face and hear her voice.Ahsoka’s eyes were wide as saucers, and her hands were shaking.

“Oh, no…look what they did to you.”

He coughed weakly.“I know, right?Bastards.”

“Hang in there.Just stay with me, all right?Cad…”

_Ahsoka, you half-pint idiot._

* * *

Ahsoka had not wanted to believe what she saw when she first found him.  For a moment she hoped it was only a bad dream.  But she knew better than to grant herself such a small grace.

If Ahsoka hadn’t walked inside knowing Bane was the only blue-skinned Duros in the lower levels of the Temple, she would not have recognized him.Whoever had been torturing Bane had come close to killing him.He was barely breathing, suspended from dislocated shoulders and wrists, lacerated and bruised all over.He did not even seem to recognize her until she touched him.

_You can do this.Hold yourself together.Don’t break down, not now._

Ahsoka cut the restraints, wrapped her arms around him, and helped him down.

“Come on, Cad.You can walk, can’t you?Walking should be easy.”

“You…idiot.”

“You need to walk.Understand?I can’t carry you.”It took all her strength not to panic.Not to let her mind dive back into the horrors of when others she cared about died in her arms because she could not save them.

From down the hall, Ahsoka heard commotion, footsteps approaching faster.They would have to make their escape under complete darkness.And whoever had attacked the Temple was still here.Straining with effort, Ahsoka pulled what strength she could from the Force to help her support nearly all of Bane’s weight.Unfortunately he was heavier than he looked.

“Stay with me, Cad.”She noticed he was struggling to stay conscious, and decided she would have to keep talking with him to try to keep him awake.“Who did this to you?”

He lifted his head slightly.“They wouldn’t stop.”

“That didn’t answer my question.Did you see who they were?”

“You idiot,” he hissed.“You shouldn’t.You should have run.”

“How could I run when there was a damsel in distress in need of saving?” she tried to tease.But Bane didn’t laugh.Neither did she.It was worth a try.

Ahsoka wanted to cry again, but she managed it choke it down.If she broke down now, both of them could die.She helped Bane take slow steps, knowing they were not getting out of here nearly as fast as they should be.At this rate, she would have to comm Todo for extra help, which would put them at greater risk of being spotted.

Voices down the hall echoed in the darkness, alerting that there were trespassers.Ahsoka grabbed the thermal detonator from her belt, rather than her lightsaber.She didn’t want to kill anyone today, and a detonator would serve as a better distraction for escape.

“Okay, Cad, we have to move fast,” she warned him.“You’re doing great.Just hang in there a little longer.”

“Don’t.”He coughed.“No.Get out of here.”

Her focus was thrown off from up ahead.Skidding to a halt, she gripped Bane tightly and let him lean on her for support again.Four white figures appeared at the end of the hall.Ahsoka stared at them.Four helmets, all identical, easily recognizable.She knew them all too well.These were clone troopers.The helmet design had been modified slightly since Ahsoka had last seen them, a bittersweet reminder of how long she had been away from the war.

Nevertheless, as soon as she saw them, Ahsoka breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank the Force I’m not alone after all_ , she thought.

Had she looked ten seconds into the future, she would have had a very different reaction.

“I thought we were goners.”Her arms ached from holding Bane up so long.“Listen, we need help, get a medic quick!He’s badly hurt and—”

She stopped.The clones had not moved a muscle since they saw her.In fact, none had made a move to help her, or Bane, which they should have.The helmets stared back, emotionless and cold and empty.Never a feeling Ahsoka had associated with them before, but strangely, it took into effect now.As she watched, a pit forming in her stomach all the while, the clone troopers reached for their blasters and slowly raised them.Not at someone behind them, nor at some structure above them.Ahsoka was staring right back down the barrel of a clone blaster rifle.

In an instant, the realization came crashing down, like a sudden blow upside the head that not only shook her violently into this new living nightmare, but shattered her whole world.And five simple words ended the life Ahsoka Tano had always known.

“It’s the Jedi. _Arrest her_!”


	13. Chapter 13

Ahsoka stared in horror.

_Arrest me?The Jedi?_

She was too stunned to speak.And the weight of letting Bane lean on her for support meant that she could not move even if she wanted to.

The clones moved in closer and set their blasters for stun.

There was no time for a Plan B.No time to see what the hell was going on, why these clones wanted to arrest her, or what they would to her and Bane if they were caught.No time to stop and scream her throat raw.

She could only act.

Ahsoka grabbed the thermal detonator, tears already rushing to her eyes at the prospect of what she was about to do.If she threw it just right, it would land in the center of the hallway near one of the cells, take down the wall, and form a barrier between them and the clones.None of them would be killed, or even hurt.

If she planned it perfectly.One slight mishap, and one of the clones would die.And Ahsoka would have blood on her hands.

One clones noticed what she was holding and raised his rifle to shoot her in the hand.Ahsoka acted on instinct.In one swift movement, she shifted Bane’s weight to the side to free her right arm.Then she raised it back, activated the detonator, and tossed it down the hall, where it ricocheted against the floor, the opposite wall, and then at the cell less than twenty feet away from where the clones stood.It _looked_ perfect.

She barely stood her ground when the explosion hit.More of her strength focused on keeping Bane from falling down, as he seemed to be losing consciousness and slipping away even more with each second.The clones were rattled even harder.As she regained her footing and began backing away, pulling Bane with her even as it strained every muscle in her body, she saw the explosion tear apart the wall of the cell.Quickly, Ahsoka turned to shield Bane’s body, and felt dozens of tiny burning shrapnel pelt her back and montrals.Her eyes stung with tears from the pain, but she ignored it and kept moving back.

They reached the end of the hall, and Ahsoka commed Todo to give him their position.She listened to the voices of the clones, dreading to hear one of them crying out in agony as if they had been hit, or some words that would give away that one of them had been killed.Luckily, she heard nothing of the sort.Just angry shouts at the wall of debris that had crashed right in front of them, and the sounds of them trying to clear their way through the wreckage without hurting themselves in the process.

She kept moving, dragging the half-dead Duros with her.A sharp left turn and she drew her lightsaber and stabbed the floor, carving out a hole large enough to fit both of them through.When she looked down the hole, Todo’s speeder hovered directly below them.

Carefully, Ahsoka helped Bane drop into the speeder.He whimpered slightly, as he coughed up more blood.Ahsoka yelled at Todo to get to Bane’s ship immediately so they could get off Coruscant.Then she grabbed Bane’s hand.

“Cad…Cad.Stay with me.”

He opened his good eye slightly.

“Do you know who did this to you?” she asked again.But she already knew by now.

“Clones…they…wouldn’t stop.”

And the pieces fell into place.The attack on the Temple, Bane’s torture, and Ahsoka’s near arrest…all at the hands of clones.

Rebel clones?Clones under orders from the Republic?If the former were true, the whole situation would have been dealt with already.The Temple would not have been burned.

So then…the Republic had done this.

The Republic almost arrested her for being a Jedi, nearly killed the only friend she knew was still alive…slaughtered all those Jedi.

* * *

The realization did not strike an immediate emotional reaction in Ahsoka.

As it hit her, she felt her emotions shut down on her, making her a blank slate.Numbing her so that she was unable to feel anything anymore.

Numb so that as she coaxed Bane to stay conscious, even after he had blacked out and she could feel his presence begin the slow process of going out, Ahsoka did not feel the terror or grief that once hit her when a friend died in her arms.So that during the drive away from the Temple, with Todo cutting away from security and pointing out the high probability that they were being pursued, Ahsoka did not react.So that when Todo landed the speeder in the lower levels and told Ahsoka to follow him, she responded without thinking.

Bane had hidden his ship, _Sleight of Hand_ , in a small hangar in one of the darker lower levels, where no daylight reached, and any rainfall was polluted with dirt and oil.Todo led them inside, Ahsoka limping after him, barely able to carry Bane any longer.As Ahsoka helped Bane lie down on a cot in the back room of the ship, Todo made a quick run back to the apartment only to grab what they would need for the journey.

Even as they were leaving Coruscant, the first time Ahsoka had left the planet in many months, a planet she had spent almost her entire life, she still felt nothing.

Ahsoka had forgotten heartbreak.

_The Republic turned on the Jedi.The Republic_ killed _the Jedi._

The idea was so bizarre, so macabre, so backwards in its own way…Ahsoka did not even believe it at first.Surely she was hallucinating.She had smoked something extra than a cigarette.This would blow over.

Maybe she was in the wrong body.

_The Republic killed the Jedi…_

As soon as the ship had left Coruscant and was in hyperspace, Todo rushed back to help Ahsok.A very fortunate fact, working in their favor, was that Bane always kept his ship stocked with important medical equipment and supplies, since the risk of being injured on the job—as well as the inability to get to a medbay—was always high.They hooked him to an infusion pump and heart monitor.Then within an hour, they had cleaned and placed bacta bandages on his external injuries, and a dose of sedative medicine took away most of the pain.

They ran out of enough bandages.Without thinking twice, Ahsoka grabbed one of her clothing items Todo had brought from the apartment—sadly, it was her only other change of clothes.Everything else she owned—clothes, music, gadgets and equipment and makeup—had been left behind at her apartment.It was the shirt with Sugi’s artwork and the caption “Nice Playin’ With Ya,” which Ahsoka tore into strips and used to wrap the last of Bane’s injuries.

Ahsoka stared at him.She did not believe what she saw.Cad Bane was not someone she expected to see lying half-dead in the back of a cargo ship, hooked up to machines, beaten to a pulp, looking like a ghost.It just didn’t fit him.This could not be real.She was stuck in a hallucination, that was all.

“Is he going to make it?” she asked Todo, her tone of voice hollow.

“This should hold him off until we can get to a medbay that isn’t under Republic control.A few hours in the bacta tank and he’ll be as good as new,” Todo said.It seemed he was trying his best to lighten the mood.

“Good…”She nodded.“You should stay in the cockpit, keep watch on the ship.I’ll stay with him.”

Todo left without another word.

Ahsoka wished she could cry, but she was all dried out, drained of emotion.The hum of the ship lulled her as the medicine slowed the shaking and put her back in the here and now.Maybe this was her own body after all…

As soon as Bane stirred awake, Ahsoka was there at his side.

“Hey, look who’s finally back.”She tried to smile, sound cheerful, just like Todo.Of course it didn’t pull off.Ahsoka amazingly sucked at acting.

“Hey, little bit,” Bane said weakly.“You shouldn’t have come…”

“Don’t say that.Okay?I was right to come.Had to get your sorry ass out of there.”She forced another smile and tried to laugh, although her face was numb.When she spoke, her voice was shaky.“Now…don’t make me regret saving you, old man…got it?”

“It was you…” Bane closed his good eye.“They wanted.They were after you.”

She stopped pretending to smile.

“What?What are you saying?”

“If I had told them where you were…” He coughed.“You’d be long gone.So you shouldn’t have come.”

The numbness inside her felt like it was about to explode.Ahsoka let go of Bane’s hand, her eyes widening.

“You mean…they tortured you, because you wouldn’t turn me in?They were trying to get information out of you?”

Bane did not have to answer.It all made sense.It explained why he insisted she should not have come, and why the clones had nearly killed him.

Something stirred in her as she glanced over his injuries, gave him another dose of medicine to kill the pain, felt his presence through the Force waver from fading away and giving up.This was all because of _her_.Bane had been willing to be tortured to death so the clones wouldn’t find her—and most likely, so she wouldn’t end up like the other Jedi.

And here she had been pitying herself because she thought he abandoned her.

_Oh, gods…_

“Well…looks like I owe you one now, don’t I, sleemo?” she tried to laugh.But the last word—that old nickname she always loved to call him—never made it off her tongue. The river of tears broke her down, which could not stop once it hit, crushing her until she was a sobbing mess crying and screaming into her fists, as Ahsoka felt the weight of the galaxy crash down on her shoulders.

* * *

_Six months ago_

 

_Cad Bane had met the young Togrutan before.Four separate times, actually, now that he recalled.First, she had joined Skywalker to stop Bane after he kidnapped Bolla Ropal from the Devaron system.He had noted her skills as a fighter, as well as her cockiness and brazen attitude, which ended up giving him the advantage.The second time, she helped Skywalker capture him on Naboo.That…had been considerably less fun in the end.The third, once again, the same duo who had caused him trouble in the past got in his way, and Bane wound up in a rather embarrassing situation where Tano ordered him to carry the crate Bane had been hired to steal in the first place.And finally, on another occasion, they had crossed paths during Bane’s job to kidnap Chancellor Palpatine, but fortunately that did not end with any Jedi Mind Tricks, or getting shot in the arm, or becoming the Jedi’s personal delivery boy._

_And now, this would mark the fifth time._

_Bane never liked young Tano one bit.Maybe it was his personal bias that a lot of Jedi Padawans were very spoiled—growing up in that luxurious Temple, surrounded by peers and respected role models, fed and clothed and housed every single day.Maybe the fact alone that she shot him in the arm within their first few minutes of meeting each other had done it.Maybe it was just her attitude.Not to say Bane also did not have an attitude, but at least his was well seasoned and experienced._

_Whatever the case.Bane thought that once he would find young Tano, she would be just as annoying as ever.And he would definitely regret ever taking this job for Skywalker.He mulled over this as he was making his way through the lower levels of Coruscant, searching for clues as to where Tano had been surviving—or, trying to survive—for the past three months._

_But when he saw her again, after all the searching, Bane was caught off guard._

_Tano had been surrounded by Trandoshan thugs.And from what Bane could hear of their conversation, they planned to surround her, abduct her, and devour her.One of them grabbed her shoulder.From the shadows, as he waited for his chance to move closer, Bane saw the terror in her eyes._

_It stirred something in him he had not felt in a very long time._

_Tano may be a spoiled kid…but she was still just a kid nevertheless.Someone who was, for now, completely alone, the opposite of what she had grown up with._

_Kids, no matter how spoiled, should not be living alone on the streets.Nobody should for that matter, give or take a few exceptions, but_ never _kids._

_It stirred an anger in Bane.An anger against anything or anyone who had abandoned her and forced her to live alone.An anger against whoever had seen her pain and loneliness, and turned her away._

_Hell, Bane knew this Padawan, among others, had been dragged into the civil war.However the hell that mess would turn out.Tano was too young for war.Too young to know what it was to kill, to see people killed.They were all too young.But that’s how it all goes in the end…that’s how fucked up war is._

_Without the hesitation of caution, Bane drew his blaster and emerged from the shadows in the alley to attack the first Trandoshan.He didn’t care whether Tano needed the help or not…which she probably didn’t._

_Bane just did not find himself in the mood to stand by and watch anymore._


	14. Chapter 14

Ahsoka paced around the medbay.Todo had confirmed the medbay was independently operated, so there was little chance they would be found by the Republic anytime soon.But she had reason to worry about every worst case scenario.Every possible thing that could go wrong flashed in front of her.All the ways they could be hurt or killed or worse.

As soon as she knew Bane was recovering in the bacta tank, Ahsoka left Todo a note and went outside.No matter how much she hated herself for doing it, she searched all over Bane’s ship _Sleight of Hand_ until she found a stash of alcohol.Half a bottle of whiskey and two unopened bottles of rum, to be precise.And a flask filled to the top with an unlabeled substance, so Ahsoka could only assume it was rare or hard to get.

This was a huge mistake Ahsoka already knew she would regret.But what the hell, since her whole life had been nothing but mistakes and regret up to this point, could one more hurt?Her only friend she was certain was alive had almost died to save her, and she did not even know how to keep both of them safe.

She began pouring shots and forcing them down one by one.It tasted vile, and she wanted to be sick.But there was no other way to make her head shut up.No other way to make the pain a bit more tolerable.

It was only the second time Ahsoka had been drinking.The first happened while she was staying at the Jedi Temple to recover from the mission to Zygerria…along with two other Padawans who had dealt with their own traumatizing missions elsewhere in the war, Ahsoka snuck away with them to a bar and drank until she got sick.It was very embarrassing.Ahsoka had her first kiss two weeks later, she remembered.She never imagined those memories could hurt more.

Four shots in, she felt the buzz kicking in.She pulled up a chair, holding the bottle of whiskey tight.The feeling brought back memories of those times she wandered off with her friends.Everyone she loved.Now she had nothing left except the small, fading hope that some of them may have survived.

* * *

 

 The next thing Ahsoka knew, a pair of small glowing eyes were blinking at her.  Ahsoka slowly opened her eyes, realizing she had fallen asleep.

“Miss Tano!What do you think you were doing?”

She hiccuped and pinched the bridge of her nose.Her head was pounding.Hurt like hell.

“What…how long was I out?”

“If there is one thing I’ll never understand about sentients, it’s how they think intoxicating themselves to unconsciousness is enjoyable.”

She glared up at Todo.He really had no idea.

“Oh, yeah?Well, sorry for being real fucking stressed out right now!”Ahsoka snarled and bared her tiny fangs.She stood up too fast and her head swelled.Groaning in pain, she glanced around the ship and grabbed her only sweater.Before she forgot she made a note that they would need more food, water, clothes, and supplies.Then they would need a plan.Somehow.

Todo held up his hands and stepped away, clearly taken aback by her outburst.

“Well, excuse me, miss.You know, you’re starting to sound like Mister Bane.”

“Hey!That’s—”She didn’t even care about being offended anymore.“—you know, maybe Cad had good reason!”

“Speak of the devil, he’s resting right now and should be fully recovered soon.And he’s going to be very upset when he hears about what you did.”

“Just get me a fucking cup of caf, okay?” she snapped.“And something to eat…that’s supposed to help with hangovers, right?”

Todo sighed.“Yes, but I recommend not getting a hangover in the first place.”

“Gods, you’re a big help.”She pulled on her sweater.“Caf and food, got it?I should go see Cad.And _I’ll_ tell him about the liquor, not you.”

She heard the techno-service droid mutter, “I miss when you treated me better.”

Todo was right.She had gone too far.And she hated the tone in her voice.But as for herself, Ahsoka was done with holding her tongue so she could stay kind and understanding.

Kind and understanding Ahsoka was long gone.She died in the fires ravaging the Temple.

* * *

 

_Don’t worry, Snips._

The blue lightsaber that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker cut through the last remaining Viceroy.With a scream, he fell dead among the others.

Vader’s eyes had begun to glow a deep yellow, bloodshot and hollow and aching.All around him was lava and flames, echoing what had taken place in the Jedi Temple not a day ago.Everything was burning these days.He could feel it.

_I’ll find you.I can fix everything._

As he pulled away his lightsaber, Vader made his way outside and looked out to the surrounding lava.Tears streamed down his cheeks.Thousands of them had been killed in a matter of hours.And thousands more would die.All he knew now was fire and bloodshed, the darkness that greeted him like a friend and was kind to him.

It had to be all worth it.It was the only way he could bring back the ones he loved.It was the only way he could fix what he had ruined.The only way to save Padmé and bring back Ahsoka.

_I won’t fail either of you again, and I’ll protect you always._

If his new master was right, it would not take long for Ahsoka to come back to him.She would be able to sense him again.It was only a matter of time before they would find the connection they once had.When she did find it, nothing would stop her from racing to find him..As it was, Ahsoka would have known what happened to the Jedi, and she would want her master back.Her heart was too compassionate to hold her back.

And Vader would be there, to welcome her back into his arms, rescue her from the cruel empty world he had thrown her to before, and show her the path to freedom and power they could share, forever.Then everything would be made right again.

It was all Vader wanted…to rule the galaxy with Padmé by his side, and Ahsoka as his loyal apprentice again.

_I’ll be here, Snips…waiting for you._

* * *

Bane was oddly quiet when Ahsoka came in to check on him.  He was staring at the opposite wall, tracings the bandages on his arm, as if in a trance.  As soon as she saw him she could tell that Todo was right.  A few hours in the bacta tank had resulted in great improvement already.  But there would be permanent scarring..and, Ahsoka pondered, probably not just the physical ones.  The clones had really done a number on him.

Head still pounding, Ahsoka slumped in the chair next to his bed.Bane glanced at her.One of his eyes was bandaged.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Like I could sleep for a week.”

“Maybe you can.”She crossed her arms.“Todo said this place should be secure.I’ll stay to make sure clones don’t get here until you’re healed up.”

“Actually, we should be out of here by tomorrow.”

“What?”She frowned.“Um, no?You’re still recovering, idiot.”

Bane rubbed his good eye.“And if we stay in one place too long, the Republic will find us.A week is too much time.Even if we had fair warning before they arrived, we’re better off not staying in one place long enough for them to find us.”

“But you—”She glared, pissed off that he was right.“Oh, fine.Have it your way, see if I care.”

“Of course we’ll have it my way.I’m smarter and more experienced than you’ll ever be.Want some pudding, by the way?I hate it.”He tossed an unopened container at her.

“Thanks.Um, you know, Cad…”

He glanced at her.She honestly hated seeing him like this.Hated that she was the reason this happened.

“There are easier ways to show you care about someone than nearly getting yourself killed for them.”

He frowned.“Like what?”

“Saying, ‘I care about you’ would be a start.Also buying them food or a drink once in a while.”

“Don’t you have something better to do than annoy me?”

“Nope.”She forced a smile, knowing it looked worse than it felt.

“Then while you’re at it, see if you can sneak some cigarettes in here,” he muttered.

“Okay.And, I’ll go buy some more liquor,” Ahsoka said curtly as she stood up.

“You sure that’s—what do you mean, _more_?”

“Oh, just, I kind of raided your stash on the ship and that’s why I look half dead.I’m sorry.”

“You… _oh_.”He looked away.

“Please don’t be mad.I’m a mess right now.I can’t… _think_ anymore, it _hurts_.I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Hey, relax, for crying out loud.”Bane frowned.“I get it.I really do.You’re upset.Just be careful next time or you could do something real stupid.Drinking alone is the worst, especially for someone like you.”

“I know…I know.I’m sorry, Cad.”

“It’s fine, ‘Soka.”

She stopped. _Is that…the first time he’s called me by my first name?_

He spoke up again after an awkward silence between them, as if the same thing had occurred to him as well.

“I have a place we can go after this.It’s a small station in the Steniplis sector.We’ll stay there until things cool down.”

“‘We’?You want me to go with you?”

“Do you have somewhere else to go?” he asked, as if it were a rhetorical question.

Ahsoka wanted to say that she _did_ have somewhere.She wanted to go back to Coruscant and the surrounding systems, and find any surviving Jedi.Maybe, if she was lucky, she’d also find clones who hadn’t followed the others.But Cad was right.No matter how much she wanted to, she was in no state to be on a rescue mission.If she left now, it would probably end up doing more harm than good.

Soon she would, though.Soon she wouldn’t have to drink and cry and stay miserable all the time.She would go back and rescue however many she could, and no one would be able to stop her.

“No, I don’t,” she said quietly.“I’ll be right back…”

* * *

Bane watched her go.  A sinking feeling weighed his thoughts down with dread.

He hated the personal responsibility he felt to look after her.A stupid, lonely, broken teenager who dragged him into this whole mess.Little Tano, like it or not, had made it on his good side.He felt the pull to try to do what he could so that she stood a chance.Be there for her because nobody else would.

Poor kid had enough going on as it was.She shouldn’t be abandoned.

Bane studied the walls and ceiling of the room, dwelling on Vader, formerly Anakin Skywalker.How Vader would stop at nothing to find Ahsoka and then brainwash her into whatever he had become.How Bane would be much safer if he got as far away from Ahsoka as possible.Realistically, he should let her go and do things all on his own again.

But he couldn’t do that to her.Six, even two months ago he could, and probably without much regret.Now he cared too much to consider throwing her away like that, and that fact made him even more upset.On top of that, if Vader caught her, it would mean Bane let that guy torture him all for nothing, which would be a devastating wound to Bane’s pride.No way he was going to let that happen.

Now Bane remembered why he always preferred working alone.Caring about someone else so much that you would die for them fucking sucked.He hated it.

Worst of all, how he was ever going to break the news of Anakin’s transformation to Ahsoka?How could he even begin to explain it?

The news would kill Ahsoka.Or at least, kill her last hope.But it seemed like everything else had already taken care of that.


	15. Chapter 15

Sure enough, as planned, Bane and Ahsoka left the med-bay by the following morning.Even though Bane could still hardly walk on his own, and needed Ahsoka’s help to get to the ship.Ahsoka’s patience had already fallen through thin ice, but she knew she had little right to get mad at him if he complained…it was mostly her fault this happened, anyway.

Bane limped slowly up the ramp of _Sleight of Hand._ Ahsoka, numb from the nightmares and the pain through the Force she was getting used to by now, let him lean on her for support.

Both of them looked like they had been to hell and back.Trouble of the matter was, they had only taken the first few steps into hell.

“You know, if you don’t heal right and get sick, it’s your own fault.Since you insisted we leave this early.”Ahsoka glared at him, still frustrated that he had been so stubborn on leaving early.

He glared back and mockingly imitated her tone of voice.

“You know, this isn’t the first time I’ve been injured.I can take care of myself,” Bane said, seconds before he stumbled in the doorway. Ahsoka barely caught him in time.

“Shut up, Cad.”She shut the door and helped him to the cockpit of the ship.“You focus on being annoying, I’ll focus on flying this piece of junk.”

Bane looked about to say something, but didn’t at the last moment.Seemed their old banters were too predictable these days.He fell silent again and didn’t speak up again. He didn’t even protest when Ahsoka started playing some of her favorite pop music, which Bane had previously described as ‘tasteless, obnoxious garbage.’

During the ten-hour flight to Bane’s hideout, he debated over how to break the news to Ahsoka.She had to know sooner or later what happened to Anakin.More importantly, what Anakin planned to do to her if he found her.It was wrong to keep the truth from her.But if he told her at the wrong time, it would crush her and she might never recover…then the whole thing would have been pointless.

Bane wondered if he should wait until something good happened to Ahsoka before he told her.Maybe if he found her a cute significant other.Or waited until they had rescued a few Padawans.Then the news might not hit her as hard.Or maybe she would conveniently find out on her own and he wouldn’t have to go through the ordeal of telling her at all.All wishful thinking, really.

* * *

Hidden away inside Bane’s Black Stall Station, Ahsoka kept herself busy by cleaning up around the place and getting things organized.  She set aside a small empty storage room to turn into her own temporary home.  A spare bed and a storage container for her few belongings were all she needed now.

At least they had enough supplies to last several weeks.Ahsoka even used some credits she saved to replace most of what she had to leave behind at her apartment, mostly clothes and some tools, and cigarettes.Although it more than not seemed pointless now.

For three days, Ahsoka stayed at the station, always ready to help Bane out, eager to make sure he was steadily recovering.The busier she was, the better.It would be a nightmare to be stuck with nothing to do.Ahsoka also liked to keep her music playing in every room, as she tried to drown out the Force.First the music.Then the cigarettes.Then the drinking.

She could feel the Force trying to talk to her.Communicate.Send more messages.It had all warped into a single, constant pain where she couldn’t tell individual messages from each other anymore.During the day, if Ahsoka could keep moving, the Force’s communication stayed away from the center of her radar, and she could feel like she was functioning normal again.She could play a game of cards or watch holovision with Bane, and not constantly feel like breaking down.However, at night when she had be to left alone, the feelings grew stronger and seemingly more unbearable every day.

But one thing was clear…the Force wanted her to go somewhere.Some specific place that Ahsoka could not understand yet.

It beckoned her, calmly, like outstretched, open arms.It felt that her questions would be answered if she went to this place.And if she went there, something she had once lost would be found again.

If only she could figure out where it was.

* * *

Three nights into their stay, Ahsoka had a dream.  Not like the other dreams she had been having lately, where she saw everyone she loved tortured and killed in front of her.

This dream took her back to a place she had been to once.Years ago, she had been assigned on a mission to retrieve an item stolen from the Jedi Temple.She remembered that there were ashes on her fingertips.She remembered Anakin had been by her side.She remembered hearing the cry of young infants.There was great darkness and shadow…a lava planet.Lava and fire.

She shot out of bed.

_Mustafar._

_The Force wants me to go to Mustafar._

Stunned by the memory, Ahsoka got out of bed.Following her new routine, she tiptoed to Bane’s room to check on him—every so often she had to readjust him so he didn’t aggravate any healing injuries, or give him another dose of pain meds.For now he was sleeping soundly.Ahsoka caught herself staring as her thoughts wandered.

What could be waiting for her on Mustafar?All she knew about that place was that at one time, a dark plot had taken place there to kidnap Force-sensitive children.It had been horrible, seeing those poor kids in danger like that.If anything, Mustafar should be a dangerous place for Jedi to go.

Then again, isn’t that what the Republic wanted them to think?Suppose Jedi were hiding on Mustafar and making it a safe haven for that very reason.Some Jedi would be bold enough to do such a thing, after all…

Shaking her head, Ahsoka searched around the station for something to do…no way she would get anymore sleep tonight.Eventually she found a few old pieces of a small, broken droid in the corner of the closet where Bane kept items useful for disguises.Curious, Ahsoka got out the tools and began working to put the droid back together.All the while, she couldn’t stop thinking about the dream.

_The Force wants me to go to Mustafar…_

All night, she paced around.The Force’s one signal that had sent through among all the other confusion remained clear.Mustafar.It was the only thing she knew to be real through the Force as of now.

By that morning, Ahsoka had made her choice.She waited until Bane was awake and fully conscious—meaning, he had consumed half a pot of caf, his morning medication, and checked all the security measures around the station—before she brought it up.

“I have to leave,” Ahsoka told him.There was no emotion in her tone.

Bane frowned.“No, you don’t.”

“I do.There are survivors, I can feel it.Some of them are still out there, and I can’t abandon them.”She decided not to bring up the signal to Mustafar.After all, Bane had been hired to take that job to kidnap those kids, so he would not see Mustafar as a good idea.Ahsoka would have to ask him sometime for more details about what exactly that job was for…but that would have to wait.

“That’s suicide.You’re not going.”

Ahsoka glared daggers at him, rage melting her cold demeanor.

“Excuse me?” she snapped.“Who are you to say ‘I’m not going’?”

Bane studied her.She hadn’t slept at all that night and it showed.Matter of fact, she had not showered in days and he didn’t recall seeing her eat yesterday either.Poor kid looked worse than he did, and that was saying something.

“You’re not going, ‘Soka.Not when you’re like this.I ain’t going to let it happen.”

“You can’t do that!”She snarled.“Who do you think you are, my father?”

“Oh, is _that_ what you want?”

“No!I mean…I don’t need one.”She turned away.

“You know what, maybe I would go through the whole trouble of adopting you just so I can have the pleasure of grounding you.”

She scoffed.“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, don’t test me.”

“I _have_ to go, Cad.I don’t think you understand that.I don’t have a choice.”

“Yes, you do!Can you choose to listen to me, for once?And I say, you can’t go.”

“Why not?Anakin is still out there!I can feel him!”

The words were out before she realized it.Ahsoka clamped her hand over her mouth.Her eyes widened.

She had felt it all along…the Force had just been so chaotic lately she never knew it was true until now.Mustafar…Anakin.They were connected.They were her only chance at getting answers.

“Oh my gods…my master is alive.”Her breath caught in her lungs.“Cad, I have to go to him!”

Bane bit his lip.He had to tell her.Right now.

If he didn’t tell her now, Ahsoka would be lost forever.

“What’s wrong, Cad?”Ahsoka frowned.“Hey. _Tell me_.”

* * *

_I know you can hear me, Snips._

_I know you want to be here.You may not know it now, but you want to be here._

The lightsaber drew back, as if admiring its own handiwork.His black boots tread across the ash, eyes glowing a furious burning yellow.His face and neck had suffered slight minor burning, as well as the edges of his black cloak.Nothing he couldn’t fix.

Kenobi would have clawed at the ground had he not lost both arms.Severed at the elbows, Vader had already kicked them into the lava.As for the legs, they had been severed just above the knee and had already burned up.

_Come back to me, Snips.You can feel that’s it already happening._

“Anakin…don’t…” Kenobi coughed weakly, lifting his face from the ashes.

Vader snarled, lips curling.

“That name has no meaning for me anymore!”Vader lifted his lightsaber over his head.He wanted to strike down and end it, but the moment was too good not to savor.“Anakin Skywalker, that silly little boy who failed you all those times…he’s long gone now.Guess who finally killed him.”He began to smile, then laugh, thinking of who he had been, compared to who he was now.It had all been a sick joke.

The Chosen One who had never been given the chance to choose his own path.The Hero With No Fear who had known what it was to live in fear every day of his life.Skywalker…the slave, the Jedi, the warrior.They were all just shards of a broken mirror that Vader had finally burst through.Vader was unstoppable, relentless, drunk on rage and so bent on fixing what he had broken that he had long forgotten what it was to be compassionate.His heart had become so big, carrying all the hurt and the suffering, that it had finally exploded into flame.

Biting back another sadistic laugh, Vader cut the edge of the lightsaber across his former master’s neck, then kicked his head into the lava.Then Vader turned away and set off to return to Padmé, grinning wildly.Everything was falling into place, one by one.

All that was missing in the picture now was Ahsoka.But she would be here soon.Master promised she would.

_We’ll be together again, Ahsoka…forever.I’ll show you how._

_No more dying.No more suffering.Just you and I._

_Isn’t that what you always wanted too, Snips?Didn’t you miss me as much as I missed you?Didn’t you wish things could have been different for us?Don’t you want to fix it too?_

_I_ know _you can hear me…!_


	16. Chapter 16

Bane hated that feeling of not knowing what to say.Because he was always supposed to be the one who was never at a loss for words.But now, seeing the exhaustion and determination in Ahsoka’s eyes as she waited for his answer, he couldn’t speak.

_Better she find out this way than letting Vader find out._

“What’s wrong is…maybe you should sit down.”

Ahsoka stared.“I can stand just fine, Cad.Tell me what’s going on already.”

“It’s about your master,” he said before he could change his mind at the last instant.

“What about him?” she asked coldly.As if Anakin wasn’t any of Bane’s business.Go figure.

“On Coruscant.I met him.”He hesitated.“Sort of.”

Her face fell and she silently mouthed the words, trying to make sense of them.

“He was…different.He wasn’t acting like himself.”

“Where did you see him?What happened?What did you do to him?” she demanded, stepping towards him looking furious.

“I didn’t do anything!”Of _course_ she would want to come to that conclusion.

Memories of the Jedi Temple came back to him.The burning pillars, the clones, the glowing insanity in what used to be Skywalker’s eyes…the blood, the beatings.Bane shivered and instantly felt afraid that it was going to happen all over again.Like something was coming that neither of them could stop.He stepped back, not liking Ahsoka’s anger.

“Cad?Hey…sorry, shouldn’t have yelled.”She gently reached out.“Just tell me what happened to Anakin, please?”

He nodded and sat down, thinking that would be best.It was as if any moment now, those clones would storm through the door and take them away.Or Vader himself, never knowing exactly who he was speaking to, the terrifying laughter and glowing eyes.

“He wanted me to bring you in.He wanted you back.And when I said No…”He sighed and looked away.

Fortunately, it did not take Ahsoka long to put two and two together.She sat beside Bane, holding her head.

“Those were Anakin’s clones who did that to you?”

Bane nodded silently.Ahsoka let out a small cry before covering her mouth.

“It’s the Dark Side,” she whispered.“That’s what I was _feeling_ the whole time.Anakin is…”

“Yeah, I think so.”Little by little, Bane told her what he could still remember about Vader.How he said the name Skywalker meant nothing anymore.How he sometimes muttered to himself how he hated the Jedi and thought someone like Bane would cooperate better to help get rid of the Jedi.How Vader had every intention to bring Ahsoka in alive.And so on.

The more he spoke, the more Bane could see this horrific new reality crashing down on young Ahsoka.The last hope she finally had that things could get better was slowly slipping away from her the more she accepted that her master was gone.

Both of them soon realized that it would have been better if Anakin was killed with the other Jedi.

When Bane had nothing left he felt the need to tell Ahsoka, he fell silent.Ahsoka had buried her face in her hands and cried silently.Her tone was hollow, as if the news had carved out her insides completely.Bane had no way of knowing if she needed comfort or would rather be left alone.It was a devastating moment for her, and an awkward one for him.Eventually he decided it was time to get up and find something for both of them to drink, after all, alcohol fixed just short of everything.Bane was just about to stand up when he heard a small sound from Ahsoka, and he realized she was sobbing.Now it would be more awkward not to stay.

“Hey, ‘Soka.”He hesitated, then put his hand on her upper back and patted her gently.“We’ll figure this out.”

Ahsoka shook her head slightly, unable to speak through her tears.

“The hurt won’t last forever.It’ll get easier.How about I get you a drink?”

“Cad…”

“You won’t have to do this alone.I’m not going anywhere.”Bane patted her back again and rubbed it gently.He was not sure how to offer comfort through physical affection, but he had seen other people do it plenty of times.

She shook her head again, then clenched her fists as she sat up straight.

“No, Cad.I have to do it alone.”

“What?”He stared.

“It’s me Anakin wants, not you.He did that to you because of _me_.”Ahsoka’s face fell.“Ever since we ran into each other, I’ve done nothing but make you miserable.I’m miserable to be around, I know that…I’m just a broken mess.”

“Not your fault Anakin is going through this.Beat up yourself, it won’t do no good.”He hated hearing her talk this way.

Ahsoka’s legs shook when she stood up.

“Don’t you get it?The only reason you’re hurting is because I pulled you into this.Anakin only wants to face me.If I let you stay involved, you’re going to get hurt again, or killed.I can’t let you do that.I’ve caused you enough trouble already.”

Bane did not think she was being serious until Ahsoka turned away to gather her belongings.When he saw her grab her lightsabers, Bane stood up and reached for her to stop her, but she saw his move coming and slipped out of it.

“And if you go alone, he will brainwash you into one of his puppets,” he yelled.“That’s why you’re not going alone.Believe it or not, I actually care what happens to you.”

“No, Cad!You’re all I’ve got, I can’t let you get hurt again!I…”

He put his hand on her shoulder, hoping that would be comforting enough yet would stop her from running off.

“‘Soka.Listen.None of this happened because of you.It’s not your fault.”

“Then why does it feel like it’s my fault?” she cried.“The Force feels so dark and broken and maybe if I hadn’t _left_ Anakin might have…”

“Don’t you dare talk like that.Just shut up.”He pulled her into what they both quickly discovered was a very awkward hug.

Nevertheless, Ahsoka took it for what it was worth and buried her face in his shoulder, unable to stop crying.He could hear the muffled words over and over and it killed him inside.

“I’m sorry, Skyguy…I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

* * *

With headlines declaring the fall of the Jedi Order, and the rise of the new Galactic Empire so-called, Asajj Ventress’ career as a bounty hunter seemed uncertain.  Work would be hard to find for the next few months.  And she could not trust how the new Empire would even treat bounty hunters like herself.  But no matter what happened, she did not think she could expect any high paying jobs anytime soon.

So when the Empire officially released a high bounty for the head of any Jedi, Asajj took notice.Interestingly enough, bringing in a Padawan alone, dead or alive, was rewarded with anywhere from two hundred to five hundred thousand credits.A Knight or Master, beginning with one million.

Two names stood out among the others…‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ and ‘Ahsoka Tano.’Each had a two million reward on their death, three million for their capture.

At first, Asajj was pleased to see one of those names, and already began making plans to take him in for herself.Unfortunately, before she was barely prepared for the best catch of her career, Kenobi’s name vanished.Must have meant someone else got to him first.Asajj hoped whoever it was had taken their precious time with the process.

But Tano.Asajj had heard what happened to her.The last anyone saw of her, she left the Jedi Order.At least Asajj knew she was still alive, albeit alive and the most wanted Jedi in the galaxy.

A lot was on Asajj’s mind over the next several days, as she evaluated the cost-benefit of what to do with Tano.If she could live with herself if she turned Tano in.If she could live with herself if she stayed uninvolved in Tano’s life at all.If it would be worth the risk to find her.

In a matter of a mere few weeks, the Galactic Senate changed for the worse.As if that were possible, Asajj mused.There had always been talk of segregating Humans from non-Humans but Asajj never imagined they would take it as far as they already were, and so soon after the end of the Republic.It sickened her every time she read about the news laws the Senate was trying to pass in the Core Worlds and beyond.Scared her, in fact.

After one of her best clients rejected her for a far less experienced Human hunter, Asajj had made up her mind.The Empire was not going to do any good for her.And in order to survive under this cruel new galaxy, as if it could have any any crueler from the start, there was no way Asajj could do it alone.She needed to be with her own kind.She needed allies.As hard as that was to admit.

So far, she only had one lead on where Tano could be.And that lead was the person Tanohad last been seen with, and according to the report released by the Empire, was someone strongly connected to the former Jedi Padawan.The name struck Asajj with great surprise.But, at least she had her lead.

* * *

When Ahsoka finished crying, Bane made her lie down in bed and kept an eye on her in case she tried to run away without him knowing.  After a while, he brought her something to eat.

“Hey, by the way…” Ahsoka said quietly after he came in and sat next to her while she ate.“When you said Anakin was going to ‘brainwash me into one of his puppets.’What did you mean by that?”   
Bane had hoped she wouldn’t ask this question.He sighed and rubbed his forehead before leaning back in the chair with his drink.

“You remember about three years ago when I was hired to kidnap Force-sensitive children?”

Her shoulders tensed a bit and a small frown creased her face.He didn’t blame her.No one forgives you for stealing innocent kids, and no one ever should.It was one of those things you had to learn to carry with you forever.

“I remember.”

“My employer…he was planning to, I guess, ‘brainwash’ those kids.”

“Yeah, we kind of figured that much.But you’re sure it was brainwashing?”

“Technically I wasn’t allowed to know the specifics of what he was up to with those kids.But when I was at the facility I got a few hints, and a glimpse inside.Anyone could have put two and two together.”

“And?”

He closed his eyes for a moment before continuing.

“I think he was some sort of Sith.And he wanted to kidnap Force-sensitives in order to train them and control them.”

“Holy shit…” Ahsoka stared.“You’re telling me that the Sith we were looking for…you _worked_ for him?”She sounded angry.

“Hey, uh, a job’s a job,” he said quickly.

“Dammit, Cad.”

He was about to throw an insult at her when the sensors alerted a security breach in the area.Quickly Bane got up to investigate.

“Great.Looks like someone found us.Better not be the Empire.”

Ahsoka was oddly quiet, staring down at the plate of food Bane gave her.

“Hey, Soka.Get ready to leave if we have to, all right?It’s going to be fine, I’m sure.”

“It’s not that.It’s…I think I sense someone familiar in the Force.I know them.”

“Don’t tell me it’s…”

“No, not Anakin.”She shook her head.

Bane studied her expression.She did not seem dismayed, or even terrified.Perhaps that was a good sign that they were about to have someone who wasn’t bad company.

It certainly would be a lovely change of pace.


	17. Chapter 17

Ahsoka waited for Bane to come back for what felt like a long time.She got up, paced around the room, stole a few of the snacks he had left on the bedside.Soon she realized it was way too long and something had to be wrong.Whoever had arrived must be stirring up trouble for them.

Without thinking twice about the potential risk or the consequences, Ahsoka grabbed her lightsaber and got up.She had barely made it to the exit door leading to the hallway when she heard Bane’s voice from the other room.

“Stop!Don’t move, ‘Soka.”His face was illuminated in the darkness by an eerie red glow.It was in the shape of a lightsaber.He looked startled.

Ahsoka felt a heavy pit in her stomach and immediately feared the worst.

“Who’s there?” Ahsoka demanded, already more than eager to maim their new arrival.At least she could tell through the Force that it wasn’t Anakin…that is, her former Master and whoever he had become now.Instead, she tensed when she heard a familiar laugh, as the red lightsaber hovered mere inches from Bane’s neck.

“It’s only me, little Padawan…or should I just call you Tano now?”

“ _Ventress_.”Ahsoka spat the name like poison.The last time Ahsoka had seen her was back on Coruscant when she was on the run, after being accused of blowing up the Jedi Temple.Those were memories Ahsoka did not even dare stir these days.But they were the only memories she had of Asajj Ventress that left her in a positive light.“Let him go right now, or you’ll be very sorry!”

“Oh?She’s with _you_?”Ventress was obviously surprised.She grabbed Bane’s arms and pinned them behind his back, eyes locked on Ahsoka as she spoke to him.“I would have thought you would be holding her for ransom, Bane.Big price on her head, you know.You always did brag about being a Jedi killer.”

Ahsoka glared at her, tightening her grip on her lightsaber.Slowly, and cautiously, she took a few steps closer to them.

“I said, _let him go_.”Ahsoka’s own tone of voice startled her a bit.She did not sound like her usual self.And it convinced her wholly that all Ventress had to do was make one wrong small move, and Ahsoka would kill her without remorse.That was how far she had gone now.And she did not even have the strength to care about it.

“You sure about that, Tano?I might even be doing you a favor in the long run by getting rid of him.There’s no way you two get along that well.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, skinny bitch,” Bane muttered.He struggled slightly, trying to find an opening so he could take down Ventress, but she was quick to catch on and use the Force to hold him down.

“And if you’re here to turn us in, you’re going to be even more disappointed.”Ahsoka stood up straight.“So what are you doing here?”

“Unfortunately for me, I’m in more need of allies than money right now.”Ventress frowned, as if saying this disgusted her.

“Allies?”Bane smirked.“You _really_ need to work on your first impressions.”

She smacked him upside the head, hard.

“Stop!”Ahsoka sighed, worrying that Bane’s attitude would be the death of him sooner or later.“So, you’re admitting you need us to be your allies.You can’t the lone wolf anymore.Why the change of heart?”

“You shouldn’t have to ask that.You know what the Empire has been doing,” Ventress spat.

Ahsoka’s glare softened slightly.This was unlike Ventress.To admit a weakness in front of them, come to them saying that she could not be alone anymore.The new Galactic Empire must have really gotten to her.Either that or her previous connection to Ahsoka ran a lot deeper than Ahsoka thought.

Or…it was all just a bluff and as soon as their backs were exposed, Ventress would turn them both in for a huge reward.She had been a good liar before.No reason she would not lie now.

“I mean, look at you, for example.Teaming up with this scum.”Ventress gestured to Bane by holding the lightsaber even closer to his neck.

“You’re one to talk,” Bane mouthed.

“Show me I can trust you.How do I know this isn’t a trick?”

Ventress’ face fell slightly and she tensed.Nobody said a word.Both Bane and Ventress’ eyes were locked on Ahsoka, as Ahsoka glanced between them, her heart pounding.

“If you’re really here as an ally, drop the lightsaber and let him go,” Ahsoka said.

“Fine.But only if you promise he won’t cause trouble.”

Ahsoka and Bane spoke at the same time, saying “He won’t,” and “I won’t,” respectively.With that, Ventress deactivated her lightsaber and shoved Bane forward, and he joined Ahsoka and stood down Ventress, glaring at her as he rubbed his sore shoulder.Ahsoka glanced at him to check that he hadn’t been injured, but aside from a small bruise, Ventress had left him unharmed.Taking every step with precaution, Ventress put both lightsabers on the ground and said, in an oddly calm and quiet voice,

“We need to talk.”

* * *

They set out a hasty dinner that consisted of leftovers from several previous meals, some takeout mixed with fast food, home-cooked, and instant snacks.  It was all they had, and with all of it combined, it made for a very mismatched misfit of a meal.  But no one was eating a single bite.

Bane and Ahsoka both sat less than arm’s length from Ventress’ lightsabers.Ventress, meanwhile, sat at the other end of the table, a drink in one hand.Bane, who never liked vodka all that much, offered some to Ventress and she did not have the heart to turn it down.

“First things first,” Ahsoka began the conversation.“How much do you know about what happened?”

“What do I know?No more than anyone else.The Jedi tried to take over the Republic, they were dealt with, now the war is over and we have an Empire.All good news.”She spoke in a wry tone, indicating she knew better than to fall for what the mass media had said on the recent events.

“So that’s the story going around.”Ahsoka clenched her fists, gnashing her teeth.Dammit.It was the other way around…the Jedi had been betrayed, _not_ the Republic.How had they managed to spread such a lie?

Bane noticed her growing anger and put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.She relaxed a bit from the touch, as it reminded her of the here and now and that, for both her and Bane’s sake, she had to stay focused.

“Bullshit, I know.Never believe what they tell you.But it’s getting worse, especially in the Core Worlds.For us non-Humans, anyway.They’re already putting segregation into law, and everyone knows it’s only the beginning.”Ventress took a long sip from her drink, her expression bitter.“And that’s why I came here.The way I see it, now is not the time for any of us to pretend we can survive out there on our own.We’ll be harder to take down if there are more than one of us.”

“Fine, but you’ll have to earn our trust.One wrong move and you’re dead.”Ahsoka meant every word.She could not care less about being compassionate.Those good times were gone.

“I’ll accept that.”Ventress leaned back in her seat.“But really, these days, who can you trust?Do you have to trust someone just because you’re on the same side, or because you’re partners?”She glanced at Bane.

“Huh?”Ahsoka almost stabbed her plate.

“Honestly, Tano, I can’t believe you teamed up with this guy.I mean, he’s a _guy_.”

“Excuse me?” Bane sneered.

“No offense, sweetie, but you can do better than that.You’ll be much happier when you figure out your real taste like I did.At least _we’re_ good for more than just mating.”

Ahsoka frowned, trying to figure out what Ventress was getting at.Then her face twisted in embarrassment.Funny, now that Ventress brought up the subject, they had had a conversation just like this one back on Coruscant while Ahsoka was on the run.Ahsoka, being oblivious and caught up in what was happening, completely missed Ventress’ implications until the bounty hunter explicitly asked if Ahsoka had a girlfriend.Then it was Ahsoka’s turn to ask what gave it away, and how Ventress had clearly seen what Ahsoka hid from everyone save for those she trusted.

“That’s none of your business and ew! Gross.It’s not like that.Cad’s like a…he’s my _friend_.”Ahsoka had known she was only into girls since her first crush at age ten.Her first kiss only proved it all the more.

Ventress just laughed.

“Couldn’t help myself, Tano.I just had to see your reaction.”

“Ugh.”Bane shook his head and fixed his hat.“You man-hating lesbians are all alike.”

“Oh, are you scared now, is that it?” she cooed.

Ahsoka pounded her hands on the table and stood up.

“Cad?”She gestured to the other room.

Immediately he stood up as well and snapped his fingers at Todo, who took Ventress’ lightsabers and stood watch nearby to make sure she didn’t try anything.To which Ventress just rolled her eyes and kicked her feet up on the table.Ignoring her, Ahsoka followed Bane out of the room so they could talk in private.Once they were far away enough that Ventress couldn’t hear them, Ahsoka looked up at him and hugged herself.

“Hate to admit it, but we can use her,” she muttered.

“I know, I know.”He was fixing his hat and jacket collar.

“It’s only temporary.And because of her connections.We need this.”

“All right.Next part of the plan will be figuring out where to go next.”

She forced a small smile of encouragement, knowing how fake it looked.

“But…” Bane’s expression darkened, “if Ventress lays one finger on you, the deal’s off.”

“Sure thing, _Dad_ ,” she laughed.Finally.It felt so good to laugh, if only at her own joke.“And you should probably watch your back around her more than me.If she really is the ‘man-hating lesbian’ you say she is.”

“Oh, she is.I would know.”

“Great.Then this should be lots of fun,” she sighed, biting her lip.

There had to be a bright side to this, she mused, almost wryly, thinking of how her younger self had always pushed so hard to see the light at the end of every dark path.How naive and ignorant and… _happy_ she had been.And now, with every waking hour, she had to resist the Force’s pull to Mustafar knowing very well why it wanted her to go there…and now this, on top of everything else.

Their plight had seemed without hope that morning, and it almost every way it still did.But maybe this…unexpected alliance with Asajj Ventress was a sign.That if they could manage to find an ally in the likes of her, there was little the Empire could throw at them.Maybe the way to make it through this hell was not by looking at the big picture, but taking one step at a time, waking up every single morning, breathing in and breathing out over and over, until one day she would wake up on the other side of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Ventress, the man-hating lesbian. And I love Ahsoka, the mentally ill tiny lesbian.


	18. Chapter 18

Within less than six hours of beginning their new alliance with Asajj Ventress, Ahsoka discovered one small problem.Despite all their differences, Bane and Ventress had one thing in common…they loved giving orders, and _hated_ following orders.

Bane and Ahsoka packed up their supplies as they discussed with Ventress where to go next.Unfortunately, they had little supplies to bring with.It only took a few minutes of disputing before Ahsoka felt the stress begin to tighten around her throat, like a Force choke.And she could feel her grip on her surroundings waver out of balance.

“I thought you were always so well prepared, Bane,” Ventress said with a small smile as she watched them work.

Ahsoka didn’t even have to glance in Bane’s direction to know the expression on his face.

“Well, Ventress, it’s been an interesting few days, so I got behind on some things.”

Maybe she would get lucky and the two only had to blow off a bit of steam before they could work together.As Ahsoka slammed the last crate down rather roughly in the back of _Sleight of Hand_ , she recalled back when she and Bane used to argue like that all the time.Did they always sound that obnoxious?

“Sounds like your reputation precedes you, hon.”

“At least I _have_ a reputation,” Bane muttered.

“So! Where’s the nearest place we can stock up on more supplies?” Ahsoka chimed in.“Todo and I can make a list of everything we need.”

“We’ll head to the Nar Shaddaa system,” Bane said.

Ahsoka nodded and briefly left to plot their course.She had barely pulled out her datapad to start making a list when she heard Bane and Ventress commence their bickering all over again.Maybe she had to just get used to this.

Bane entered the ship, pulling on his jacket.Ventress was quick to follow him to the cockpit.

“Hey, just because this is your ship doesn’t mean you get to give all the orders!” Ventress snapped.

“I’m sure you’d say the same if we were on your ship,” Bane said dryly as he started up _Sleight of Hand_.

Ahsoka took the co-pilot’s seat, bitter towards Ventress for annoying both of them like this.

“You may want to be in charge, but I know where we can go after Nar Shaddaa,” Ventress said, almost smugly, crossing her arms and watching them from behind.“We’ll be safe on Dathomir.It’s sparsely populated, and will be a good place for us to set up a refuge and find more allies.”

“Staying in one place?I don’t think so.We’ll be safest if we’re always on the move.Never stay in one place too long to be tracked down.”

“Like how I tracked you down?” Ventress couldn’t help but add.“Your idea of hiding really seemed to work.That’s why we’re going with my agenda instead.”

“If you wanted to be the boss, you should have found different allies,” Bane snapped.

Ahsoka rubbed her temples and took over preparing the ship for hyperspace.She breathed a sigh of relief when Ventress stormed off to the back room rather than continuing the argument.The stress was already building up, and fast.

“We can’t work with her.Not if you’re always fighting her,” she said coldly.

“I’m working on it.I just can’t stand her.”

“We _need_ her help.She’ll turn on us if you keep this up.”

Bane leaned back in his chair, hand over his mouth.He looked more tired than usual.

“I’m not going to suck up to her, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“Then don’t.Just, try to stay focused.She’s the closest thing we have to an ally right now.”She shut her eyes.“I guess we need more allies.”

“That was the next part of our plan I’ve been thinking over, ever since Asajj ran into us.”Bane looked deep in thought, and once the ship was in hyperspace, he leaned back in his chair and pulled out a cigarette.By habit, he passed one to Ahsoka.“Staying hidden won’t be a problem; that much I know how to do.But just the three of us won’t be enough to make sure the Empire can’t take us.So, we need to find allies we can trust.Who won’t rat us out so we can watch each other’s backs.It’s the only way we’ll survive this way.”

“And finding trustworthy people is the hard part.You taught me that on Coruscant.”Not that Ahsoka needed to learn that, really.After being betrayed by the Jedi Council and who she thought was her best friend, she did not have to learn the lesson that some people will stab you in the back if ever given the chance.

Bane nodded.“Until then, I’ll tolerate Ventress.I have a few ideas on where to head next.But now that the galaxy’s changed so fast, even old friends will turn on you.”

“No kidding.”Ahsoka sighed.This brought back a question in her mind that had been haunting her for a while.But it never seemed appropriate to bring up…then again, it might always be an inappropriate question anyway.“Cad?Can I ask you something?About my master?”

He glanced at her, already looking slightly discomforted at the change in topic.Ahsoka was discomforted about it as well.She still felt the constant pull towards Mustafar, even though she knew why it was there.Hard to admit it was a feeling she could start to get used to.

“Do you…think there’s any chance of Anakin being brought back?”Her voice wavered a bit, just saying it aloud.“I know it’s a big question, but you saw him.Did he seem like he—”

“Vader was willing to do whatever it took to get you back and turn you into his pawn.”Bane’s voice was so cold, it startled Ahsoka a little.

“But Cad—”

“You can’t put your hopes on saving him, ‘Soka.Save yourself the grief.”

Figured…she had asked way too soon.

“I’m sorry.It’s not that I don’t believe you.”

He looked at her, an ache in his eyes.He knew what she meant.It didn’t make the ordeal Vader put him through on Coruscant hurt any less…but he knew.Ahsoka could feel it.Just as much as she could feel his resentment for Ventress always underneath the surface.And his trust for Ahsoka holding fast.Things she had been unable to feel until a matter of weeks ago.

She glanced away, trying not to let thoughts of her former master get to her.She couldn’t even let herself think of him as ‘Anakin’ anymore.

* * *

On Nar Shaddaa, Ahsoka stayed close to Bane while they made their way through the southern region of city making their supplies orders.  With no choice, since they did not trust her enough to leave her with the ship, Ventress tagged along.

“Where are we?” Ahsoka asked as she looked around.She already hated Nar Shaddaa.It reminded her of Coruscant’s underworld, but much worse.Crime and filth were everywhere.Along the street they walked down to the next warehouse to pick up their food crates, Ahsoka saw shops offering bodily enhancements and implants.The air reeked of spices.Clubs were packed, the streets littered.

“Don’t worry.I know this place well.”Bane spoke quietly.“Just stay close to me and we’ll be fine.”

“This place is horrible,” Ahsoka muttered.

“See?That’s how he knows about it.”

Bane ignored Ventress’ comment.Both Ahsoka and Ventress stood back while Bane made his way inside the warehouse to make a deal for their supplies.Ahsoka was adjusting her jacket as she smoked a cigarette, trying to ignore the glances Ventress gave her.

Neither of them had so much as brought up their brief partnership while Ahsoka was a fugitive.Inevitably, Ventress would want to…only a matter of time before she did.Just thinking about it made Ahsoka realize how much she had changed since then.Her heart felt harder…sometimes, through the Force, quite literally.Even her clothing style was not the same anymore.  
“So…how did you end up allies with him?” Ventress suddenly asked.She watched their backs, aware of every sound and sight within their radius, constantly alert for any danger.Ahsoka, less so, feeling like she could not care less.

“It’s a long story that I’m not in the mood to tell.”

“Not in the mood?Or is it not the type of story you’d like to share with me?”

Ahsoka took a long drag from her cigarette and glanced up at her.Ventress’ presence in the Force was so different from Bane’s.While Bane’s felt resilient, constant, the same he had always been as far back as she could remember, Ventress’ was always changing…before it had been full of violence and rage, then rage and vulnerability, then a passion and confidence Ahsoka had almost envied.And now, Ventress felt like a strange mix of all of those.

“Does it matter?” Ahsoka asked coldly, and she blew smoke in Ventress’ face.Not because she wanted to.Bane had dared her to do it.

Her eyes, already ice blue as they were, turned cold as the Carlac system.

“If you do that again, you will lose your front teeth.Are we clear, little Tano?”

“Sorry.But Cad owes me five cigarettes now.”

Her eyes remained cold as her lips slowly curled into a sneer, as if she wanted to rip out Ahsoka’s throat with her bare teeth.

“Look…I don’t give a shit if we never bring up what happened before,” Ventress said darkly.“But you can’t expect me to trust both of you and then shut me out all the time.You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”

“Of course.And the same to you.I will tell you how that whole mess with the Jedi Order ended, but later.”

“I look forward to hearing it.”She didn’t smile, but Ahsoka caught the slightest gleam in her eyes.

Violent, raging, vulnerable, passionate…confident.This was Asajj Ventress as Ahsoka now knew her.What else did this mysterious woman have in store for her next?


	19. Chapter 19

Ahsoka’s focus on Ventress, and all the strange feelings she felt around her, grew stronger as they made their way through the streets of Nar Shaddaa.Here, unlike the neighborhood on Coruscant where she lived for a few months, this planet left little to the imagination.The filth lingering in the air covered every person they passed.A sort of filth that went deeper than the physical sense…filth that stained the mind and soul.

She had to know what Ventress was like…how much she had changed.How much Ventress could be trusted.What made her tick.It was Ahsoka’s responsibility to know for sure, as she could not allow either Bane or her to be hurt because they trusted someone.She learned that lesson the hard way with the Jedi Council, and did not have plans to learn it ever again.

Focusing on Ventress also proved to be a decent distraction from the agony that had become the faraway, but constant presence of the Sith once known as Anakin Skywalker.The only other ways to forget about what happened to ‘Skyguy’ involved alcohol, spices, or cigarettes, or a combination of any or all of the three.A habit Ahsoka had to be wary of.

Ventress still felt twisted as ever.Like a bad storm waiting to happen just around the bend.But she also felt less fragile…as if such a bad storm would arrive more by Ventress’ choice, not the choice of another.

Ahsoka did not know if that should comfort her, or terrify her.Maybe both.

Ventress gave Ahsoka a cold glare as they walked alongside each other.Bane, completely unaware of what was going on between the two women, snapped another order at them to follow him down a path back in the direction of the docks.Ventress only glared at Ahsoka again, eyes darkening.

It had only been a matter of time before Ventress could sense how much Ahsoka was focusing on her, she knew.Even if Ahsoka had tried to read her without making her Force presence intimidating.When Ventress slowly reached down and tapped the hilt of her lightsaber, Ahsoka mentally backed off, worried she had scared Ventress.

Instead, the former assassin gave Ahsoka a dirty look that clearly read ‘ _If you try to get to know me with a cheap trick like that one more time, I’ll bite your montrals off.”_

A chill ran up Ahsoka’s spine.She could already feel Ventress’s sharp bite. _Most_ of that feeling was very unpleasant.Suddenly, Ventress turned her attention back to Bane.

“Let’s get something to eat while we’re here.I’m starved,” Ventress said.

“You sure you can’t wait?”Bane had an edge to his tone whenever he spoke to her now.

“Yes.Both of us need our fuel before we leave the system.Don’t know when we’ll get a chance again.”

Bane muttered something in Durese…luckily, Ahsoka had been searching Durese phrases on the HoloNet so she could understand what he said sometimes.This time, it translated to _“I hate it when the bitch is right.”_

They found a small diner on a street corner that seemed relatively clean.Inside, Ventress insisted on sitting alone at the bar while Ahsoka and Bane shared a booth.

“When was the last time you were here?Just…curious.”Ahsoka hoped to keep up a small conversation with Bane.She needed to tell him what she was sensing about Ventress.

“Some years ago.”Bane looked down at the table.“I was young.”

Anticipating that he would continue the story, Ahsoka waited.Fifteen seconds passed and Bane still did not say anything, as he studied the scratches on the table and picked at them with the edge of his fork.Ahsoka watched him.

“Sooo…what happened?”

Still, Bane did not look up.

“It’s not important,” he muttered.

“Why, think I’m going to get bored hearing one of your stories?”Ahsoka forced a smile.Funny how often she seemed to be doing that these days.“Come on.You’re always letting me cry about all my fucking problems…I don’t know where you’re from.I don’t even know where you got your stupid hat.”

Normally Bane would fall for the bait of an insult to his hat.Not this time.

“Duro system.New Tayana, Descent ghetto district,” he said flatly.

“Ghetto district?”She frowned.

“When I was a kid, I wanted to join the academy and be a pilot.Explore the stars, chart new courses.”He made a small scratch in the table with his fork.“Life had other plans for me.”

“I would guess so.”She did not have to ask if those had been unfortunate plans.

“So, then, starting from when I was young…” he sighed, “to survive, I did dirty work for criminals in the ghetto.Passing along information, spying, stealing, that sort of thing.Got good enough at it that I could work on my own by the time I was…well, about your age.Too late to become a pilot by then.Lots of practice in the field, and lots of mistakes as I built my profession, and there you have it.”

“I’m…sorry?”She could not think of anything else to say, that is, to a severely abbreviated life story that left out all the details Ahsoka really wanted to know.

“Were you expecting something else?”

“I don’t know what I expected.Maybe you would have told me you’re an asshole because your boots are too tight.”She hesitated.“You never mentioned your family?”

Bane let out a small sigh.

“I didn’t have siblings, and extended relatives are scattered, we don’t keep in touch.My father died when I was young, and I lost my mother several years later.”

As much as she could tell she had not been told the painful side to this story, Ahsoka still felt the old familiar ache in her chest…the ache that longed for a family of her own.Growing up in the Jedi Temple meant she never had real parents of her own.Never got to know what it was like to be one of those kids who goes to school every morning and comes home to eat at the dinner table and gets a hug from Mother and Father before bed.Never knew what it was like to plan what university you went to one day and what career you would have…a _normal_ life.

Anakin had been more like a big brother to her than a father figure.Master Plo Koon had been that father figure, in some ways, but that was never meant to be the moment she walked away from the Order.

No chance of ever getting a piece of what could have been a normal life back, it seemed.

Then again, loss of a normal life was the absolute least of Ahsoka’s worries now.

“I’m sorry about your parents,” she said quietly to Bane as she picked at her food.

“No, not for my father.I was ecstatic when he died.”He neglected to comment on his mother.

“Um, I won’t ask why.”

“Good for you.”

Ahsoka noticed Bane ate little and did not even bother to bring his leftover food with when they left.She made a reminder to only ask about his past next time he was very drunk.

* * *

They had just left the diner to make their way back to the ship, when Ahsoka saw Ventress freeze.  She stared up ahead with a piercing gaze, as if looking at someone far off.

“What is it?”By second nature, Ahsoka began to reach for her lightsaber.

“I knew it…”Ventress still did not move or avert her gaze.

“Know _what_?” Bane asked coldly.He was reaching for his blaster as well.

“We were being followed and have just been reported to the local authorities.”Ventress glanced at both of them, seemingly amused by their shocked expressions.“You didn’t really think I wanted to go to the diner just for a bite to eat, did you?We had to stop somewhere for a good twenty minutes, give or take…that way I’d know for sure if someone was spying on us.And now, they’re about to turn us in.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Ahsoka snapped.“We already know we’re on the run from the Empire.”

“But now we know the Empire’s influence has spread even to these reaches of Nar Shaddaa.And besides, I have not committed any crimes against the Empire…yet.It’s you two they want.”

“So you’re going to turn us in, then collect the bounty on our heads?I knew we should never have trusted you.”Bane drew his blaster, baring his fangs.

Ventress spun around and pulled his blaster from his hand using the Force.Bane was about to tap a switch on his wrist gauntlet when she held up her other hand to stop him.

“Slow down there, sweetie.Who said anything about turning you in?I just needed to know if we could be tracked here, that’s all.It’s useful information to have on the Empire’s power, even in Hutt Space…you can’t disagree on that.”

“See, this is why I hate you.”Bane glared at her.

Ahsoka stood next to Bane and gestured for Ventress to give him his blaster back.She reluctantly did so, but not before a sour look passed between the two.The tension between them was almost worse than the impending threat from the authorities coming towards them in the same second.

“You got us in this mess, you’re going to get us out.Stop them before they find us, and meet us back at the ship.Then we’ll finish this conversation,” Bane said.

“Finally, I thought I’d never get to have some fun around you two.”She drew her lightsabers and stepped back.The red glow reflected off her skin making her seem even more deadly and terrifying.Although neither Cad Bane or Ahsoka Tano would ever admit they were frightened of her.In a flash, she had slipped away back down the alley.As soon as she was out of sight, Bane put his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder to pull her with him in the other direction.

“I knew this alliance with her would be a mistake,” he muttered as they made their way back to _Sleight of Hand._

Ahsoka, not in the mood to comment, focused on staying close to Bane.Danger was approaching, but her senses were thrown off, and not just by Ventress’ presence always lingering nearby.

The Force tugged at her.Making her nerves tingle, like she had stepped too close to an open flame.A dark cloud strengthening her vision just around the bend, yet filling her with a mixture of dread and serenity, confusion and clarity.She glanced around them as lights from a speeder flashed against the walls of the alley, and turned everything red.

“We have company,” she said, a split second before a figure wearing black armor and a helmet dropped from the roof above them, a blaster rifle at his side.The two turned around just in time to see him raise his weapon at them.

“Ahsoka Tano, Cad Bane, in the name of the Galactic Empire, you are both under arrest.”

Bane smirked and hovered his hand over his wrist gauntlet.His focus zeroed in on the guard in front of them, with Ahsoka watching both carefully to see who would attack first.

The guard shot at her first.She used her lightsaber to deflect each shot, striking the walls on either side of them.Bane stepped out of the way as he drew his blaster, firing at the guard who slipped out of the way and continued to focus on taking down Ahsoka first.She could not even care if she got hit or not.Only that, should one of them escape Nar Shaddaa, it would be Bane.And that what happened to him on Coruscant would never, ever happen again while she was still alive.

“We should split up,” Bane said to Ahsoka as he ducked behind a trash bin.She held her lightsaber in front of her and did not take her eyes off the guard.

“No.We need to stick together,” she said firmly.

The Force did not alert her to the guard approaching them from behind until it was too late.Movement from the corner of her eye alerted her and she glanced back to see the second guard aim his blaster at Bane.Her cry of warning did not come fast enough.

“ _Cad_!”

The guard pulled the trigger, striking the middle of Bane’s back.He went down instantly.


	20. Chapter 20

_There is no emotion, there is peace…there is no death, there is the Force._

_There is no emotion.There is no death…_

Always that small voice inside her, starting from when she was just a youngling, training to become a Jedi.Always that small reminder.But in the moment, the voice wavered, as it had so many times before.

Tucker’s scream for help over the comm cut short by the explosion.Axe’s last words.

_The battle had been long and pointless.They lost so many…too many.She was fourteen years old and she already wanted to kill herself.But if she did, she would render herself even more useless to the rest of them._

If you had obeyed orders this would not have happened _, Ahsoka told herself over and over as she sat hunched over in the hangar of the Republic frigate, scratching at her gloves._ If you weren’t so _stupid_ and such a _failure_ all those soldiers—good men under your command who trusted you!—would still be alive.

It was you. _You_ killed them.

_Maybe Anakin was right, that this is the reality of war.But shouldn’t she have known that?Shouldn’t she have known better?It was no wonder everyone still treated her like she was a child when she threw away her own comrades like toy soldiers…that is how little she deserved forgiveness._

_Outside the dreaded Citadel prison, the same voice came back to taunt Ahsoka again.Even Piell’s mauled body, torn apart by the anoobas, falling limp in her arms.She could have done better…she could have paid attention just a little more, ran just a little faster, fought just a little harder.What’s one drop of sweat from her brow to save another life?But she did not.It was all her mistake._

Skyguy says you’re too hard on yourself.Stop saying all of it is your fault.Just because you lose someone doesn’t mean you could have done something to stop it from happening.

_That was easy to hear safe inside the Temple, the place she once called home.In meditation or in a training session with the other Padawans.When it was just her and Anakin, and sometimes Rex, sneaking away from their camp to take a joyride on a stolen speeder, and pretend there was no war for a little while._

_It was different when your friend’s brains oozed down your face and all you could hear was their cry for help echoing around you.It was much different when the Force was so heavy with the ache of betrayal that you forgot what it was to feel anything anymore._

There is no death.

And yet, Anakin Skywalker is dead.The Jedi are dead.The Republic is dead.Everything Ahsoka used to believe in, and everyone she trusted, lies dead around her.Lava and fire consumes all the green in the galaxy.The sky is turning red.Love and trust turn to ashes.

It burns out all life, but it can be trusted…it is inevitable, like the dusk.A constant dread.

Fire is death…and if death is reliable as an inevitability of time, would it not be a comfort?Would fire not be a comfort as well?

You will only find peace with fire and death.

Mustafar is calling the former Padawan of Anakin Skywalker.Mustafar is the only home she has left.Only there can she accept the fact that she, too, is dead.

_There is always death, Snips._

* * *

A hollow scream burned the back of Ahsoka’s throat when she saw Bane lying motionless on the ground.

_No…not again.Not again_ , she thought.

This time, she drew both her lightsabers, and turned to the guard who had shot him.She welcomed the fire that burned every memory of what she had been taught…justice, serenity.They were no more now.All she had left was her anger.

Something about the guard’s helmet looked different than the other guards.He had a T-shaped visor on the front colored red, and carried two blaster pistols instead of one single rifle like the other guards.

Ahsoka ran towards him and slashed her lightsabers with every intent to kill.The guard slipped out of the way, but the impact knocked off his helmet.He looked back at her in a split second moment that stunned her.She must be seeing things again.

“A clone…?” _A young clone?That couldn’t be right._

Wait.

“I’m not a clone.I’m Boba Fett,” he snarled at her.Now she remembered the small scar above his right eyebrow that she had seen years ago when they ran into each other on the Florrum system.“And you’re coming with us, Tano.”

“Kill me first.”She slashed at him again but stopped to deflect the blasts from the other guard.Before she could send a lightsaber tip across Boba’s neck, she heard a cry behind her.

“Two of you…?”Boba looked behind Ahsoka, then back at her.“I was told there was only one Jedi.”

_Ventress_.Ahsoka felt her presence in the alley, heard the hum of her lightsabers.The former assassin stood over the dead body of the guard, and Ahsoka stepped back so they stood shoulder to shoulder.Boba aimed his blasters at them, and she could see the slight fear in his eyes.“Who sent you here?”

“You have no idea at all?” Boba asked.

“Ana—Vader…”She glared him down, eyes burning with rage.“He’s sending bounty hunters after us now?”

“Look, Boba, honey…how about instead of doing the Empire’s dirty work for them, you lay down your weapons, and we won’t have to kill you painfully?”Ventress smiled at him, as if there was something she knew about Boba Fett that Ahsoka didn’t.

“No, I’m killing him anyway.”Ahsoka glanced at Bane.

Boba rolled his eyes.“I only stunned him, you know.My job is to bring you in alive.The Empire isn’t a fan of body bags, it seems.”

The fire in her gut suddenly felt cold and sickly.So she had not lost Bane after all…her anger at Boba did not change.He _could have_ killed Bane.

“Ventress, get Cad out of here.I’ll deal with Fett.”

Boba quickly shifted his glare between the two.At Ahsoka, who stood her ground with lightsabers crossed in front of her, and Ventress dragging an unconscious Bane out of the alley, not bothering to avoid the puddles of muck and getting him soaked as a result.Ahsoka could see it in his eyes…the undeniable fear of them.Two against one.He was mentally sizing Ahsoka up, she could tell, which could only mean he already had a good idea of how his skills matched that of Ventress.His eyes shifted again, mind racing.

Barely fourteen years of age and he was already all grown up and acting like an adult should.It put a sting in Ahsoka’s stomach as she remembered what had made her grow up at age fourteen.

Finally, Boba turned and ran.Kid was smart.That meant more danger later on, now that Boba knew what he was up against.

“We can’t let him get away.”Ahsoka clenched her jaw.“I’m going after him.”

“No!He’s trying to split us up.If you go after him, he’ll take you down.”Ventress was holding onto Bane’s ankle with one hand and pulling her hood over her head with the other.

“But…”Ahsoka took a deep breath, realizing her mind had become clouded ever since she saw Boba shoot Bane.It had thrown her off enough that she killed that hunter.

That whisper continued ever so quietly, and soothingly.It knew exactly what she wanted to hear.

_There is always death, Snips._

_Come to Mustafar and you will find peace again.Come home to me._

_You know you will never go home any other way._

She shut her eyes.She knew that voice.The voice that told her to give up so many times now, in too many battles on too many star systems, came from a place not from her own mind anymore.Not the ugly thing that reared its head with every fear and insecurity.But from that old connection she wanted back more than anything.It felt so familiar, so intimate, so…at home.What had once been hers and now was lost.

It was Vader.

_Come home to me._

Keeping herself physically active seemed to be the only distraction, for now.Ahsoka approached Bane, still lying unconscious.Now thanks to Ventress, his coat, shirt, and face were soaked in muck.She knelt by him, turned him over to lie on his back, and gave him a firm little shake.Even though it had only been a stun blast, Ahsoka still breathed a sigh of relief when he coughed hoarsely and came to.At least one person she cared about had made it another day.

But with bounty hunters after them now, who could tell how many more days they had left?She trusted their abilities to survive and stay on the run, but Boba had to be the first of many.It might not ever stop until both of them were either dead or back in Vader’s clutches.

Bane shook the muck out of his eyes and felt his back where he had been hit.

“What happened…?”

Ahsoka grabbed his hand to pull him up.

“You’re going to hate me for telling you this, but…Boba Fett shot you with a stun blast,” she said grimly, recalling how Bane had previously described the two Fett’s, Jango and Boba, with unpleasant vernacular.This news would hit much more than just his ego.“Sounds like the Empire hired him to bring us in alive.”

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Wish I was.”

“Great…so where’s the kid now?”Bane slowly sat up and muttered something about his hurt back.

“Took off…he figured out he couldn’t take all of us on his own.We’ll be better off staying away from him.”Ahsoka looked at him, then wrapped her arms around his neck.

Bane frowned and glanced up at Ventress, but she gave no explanation for it.

“Is something wrong, ‘Soka?”He stiffened, feeling awkward, as he always did with hugs.

Ahsoka held onto him for a few moments longer, then reluctantly pulled away.Now she had muck all over her too.

“When he shot you, I thought you’d been killed.”

He looked about to scowl at her, say something sharp about how she needed to use her head more instead of getting carried away.But at the last moment his eyes softened slightly.Bane held onto Ahsoka’s arm firmly.

“I’m all right, little bit.It’s okay.”

“I know.”She bit her lip… _gods_ , this feeling again.Knowing what it would do to her to lose him.Remembering how she found him on Coruscant.

“Are you two done yet?We should really get going.”

Ahsoka glared at her as she helped pull Bane to his feet.

“You know, this whole thing was your idea.One of us could have been killed.”Ahsoka put away her lightsabers.“Let’s just get out of here already.”

Bane didn’t argue, although Ahsoka figured he would as soon as he fully recovered from the stun blast.He followed her out of the alley, a sulking Ventress lagging behind as she looked around in case more guards were coming.But Ahsoka felt safe for now.At least in the physical sense.

She had lost too many as it was.All it would take was one more and it would kill her, she knew.As strong as she had to be right now, there was no way she could do it alone.She needed her companions.

_Now you understand, Snips._

Bane put his hand on her shoulder, briefly silencing the voice in her head again.

“Hey, little bit, hear what I said?”

“Sorry.Spaced out.”

“I know a place on the Muunilnst system where I can get the ship upgraded.We could use that.And an employer who just opened several contracts is out there too…if I can get one of those, that’s an easy hundred grand.”

“We’ll do that,” she said absently, not fully on Nar Shaddaa anymore.Just like before, the fire and ashes of Mustafar, and the odd sense of comfort that came from it, was calling to her again.

* * *

Darth Vader stood in front of a large hologram in the center of Emperor Palpatine’s office, hands clasped in front of him.  Elsewhere on Coruscant, the Emperor was holding another session in the Senate.  While he was busy dealing with straightening out political affairs, Vader worked behind the scenes.  Doing all of the Empire’s dirty work and never getting the publicity the Emperor had.

The hologram depicted the Jedi Temple…or rather, what _used_ to be the Jedi Temple.Now it was a design for the new Imperial Palace to stand in the old Temple’s place.The final touches on the blueprints had been finished that morning, left by Vader and the Emperor to look over before they were approved.

Vader did not dare begin to wonder how he felt about it.The Temple was where the Jedi had trapped him for years.It was also where he had slaughtered the younglings.

He did not know how long he stared at the hologram, studying every detail etched into how the Temple would be torn down and the Palace put back in its place.Only that he instantly shut it off when a call came in from the Emperor.

“I have good news, my Master,” Vader said as soon as the Emperor asked for an update on what had happened since.He almost smiled a bit, happy to tell his master something that would improve his day.Make him proud of Vader, even.“My former apprentice has begun to turn.”

_“Oh?You have found her weakness?”_

“Her ties to the Jedi Code are weakening.Her only companions are two criminals, and she only trusts one of them.”Vader’s smile grew.He felt pleased with himself for saving the best for last.“Let them be eliminated, and Ahsoka will have no one else to go to but me.I will be the only one she has left.”

_“Can the bounty hunters you commissioned for her capture finish the job, then?Are they…capable?”_

“Of course they are, my master.I only hired the best.”He hated that he felt an inclination in him to defend the young hunter named Boba Fett.The Emperor’s look of disapproval when Vader approved Boba for the commission…what was so wrong about that one being a little young?He had the skill and experience.Besides, Vader knew what it was to be looked down on for one’s age.It put a strong bias in his decision to end up hiring Boba Fett for the job, in the end.

_“Then send one of my new Inquisitors to bring in your apprentice.I will let you decide which one.”_

_What?No…_ Ahsoka was _his_ apprentice, no one else’s.No one else should touch her, much less one of the Emperor’s little assassins, with their pathetic Force-sensitive abilities.None of them should even know Ahsoka existed.Vader was stronger than twenty of them, easily. _She’s mine…_ mine _!_ he wanted to scream.

On top of this cruelty, he had been allowed to choose which Inquisitor.His Master _knew_ what he wanted and gave him the choice of who should take his place.

_I do everything for you and you’re still taunting me…_ Vader clenched his fists…but it only took a moment before the anger subsided into a cool nothingness. _As if this isn’t what I deserve after everything.I did hire young Boba just out of spite to my master…this is my punishment._

“Yes, my Master…” Vader said quietly.“I know someone who will be perfect for the task.”

_“Oh?”_

“Yes.An Inquisitor who used to be Ahsoka’s friend…before Ahsoka was betrayed by her.She can do it.”Vader smiled again as he imagined the look on his apprentice’s face when they would meet again.She would break down, surrender…then she would finally be back where she belonged.In his arms.


	21. Chapter 21

~ _Three months later ~_

 

Ahsoka was getting used to the nightmares.

The constant sense of dread and impending destruction.Using alcohol to drown out Vader’s voice.Using violence to keep herself busy—sometimes in the form of her and Asajj doing a little sparring to keep in shape, and on other occasions, dealing with authority on the current planet they were staying on.

It slowly became normal to her.

To remember her old self, little more than a child in the war, when she vowed she would never _get used to_ seeing the slaughter and brutality around her, almost made her laugh now.How could she have known that all of this would feel so routine one day?That one day, she would not be able to conceive of a moment going by where she was not reminded of it all?

* * *

 

_“I can’t let you die, Ahsoka.”_

_“Master, no!” she cried.She would have pulled at the binders again, except they severely electrocuted her each time she did._

_Helpless where she knelt on the cold metal floor, Ahsoka watched as her master set down his lightsaber in front of the Duros bounty hunter._

_“We’ll deal with the Holocron later,” Anakin said in a hushed tone of voice, eyes cold with fear._

_“How touching,” the bounty hunter muttered._

_Ahsoka’s breath caught in her throat.Her heart sank.The mission was about to fail and who knows how much damage would be caused by the Jedi Holocron, and it was all her fault.She let Bane take her by surprise.All her fault.Maybe if she had been a little smarter, a little stronger, a little faster, this never would have happened._

_“I’m sorry, Skyguy…” she whispered._

_The burning Temple clouds her vision.The Jedi Order is gone.All she sees is Lord Vader standing over the dead bodies of everyone she loved.His red lightsaber is aimed for her next.She stands completely frozen, unable to move.He smiles at her, sweet and kind, just like he did when he offered her Padawan beads back when the trial was over.Except now his teeth and chin are dripping with blood, like he ripped out Jedi’s throats no better than a wild animal would.His eyes glow yellow but there is no life in them anymore._

_“There is always death, sweet little Snips,” he sings to her.Then he screams.“Come back!”_

_And the only sane thought in her mind is that maybe, just maybe, this would not have happened if she didn’t walk away from the Order.But she will never know that for sure._

_All her fault…_

“You belong with _me_!”

Her cry always jolts her awake the moment before the red lightsaber swings down on her neck.

* * *

Ahsoka rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up.  Before heading to _Sleight of Hand’s_ main room, she quickly glanced at her reflection in the mirror—mostly at the new scar on the top of her left lekku she earned two days ago in a sparring session with Asajj, after she Force-pushed her into a ventilation pipe.  Small flakes of cheap mascara still clung to her lashes.  Her cheeks were more hollow now as well.  Other than all of this, she was still her same old self.

Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, Ahsoka did not even know anymore.

She pulled on the skirt, tank top, and jacket that still smelled of spices and deathsticks from the cheap store they were bought from.Her civilian clothing had much less color now.Blacks, dark blues, purples, and reds helped her blend in better.She usually covered the tops of her montrals to further blend in.She kept a simple dark metal ring with small spikes around the lower part of each montral…helped make her look a bit more intimidating.Matched her cruddy boots.For the hell of it, she put on some cheap black lipstick as well.

She liked her new look.

The aroma of freshly brewed caf rose from the small kitchen in the corner of the room.Bane was sitting at the table.Judging by the state of his clothing, he had been away most of the night on another job.He seemed more worn out than usual and barely even glanced at her or said Morning when she walked in.

Ahsoka had a sinking feeling that something about Bane had not been the same since Darth Vader tortured him.Same way she had never been the same since Wasskah, or Zygerria, or Order 66.You don’t just ‘snap back’ from something like that.Especially considering their circumstances.

She sat across from Bane as she stirred five packs of sugar in her cup of caf.

“Who did you work for yesterday?” she asked, still waking up.

“No one important.”Bane was drinking a lukewarm beer.Ahsoka battled the temptation to smack it out of his hand.

“Well, what did you do?”

“Nothing important.”He glanced away.

Ahsoka frowned at him.It was probably exhaustion keeping him quiet.Granted, they all were.Exhausted from always being on the run from the Empire.Of scraping by just to pay for food and supplies.Of tolerating each other’s night terrors, mood swings, and dangerous coping mechanisms.

“Was it…fun?”

“Not really.Payment will cover fuel and repair expenses for the next several weeks or so.So that’s good.”

“Good…” She looked away.By new habit, she reached up and traced her lekku scar.Bane’s slight frown when he glanced at the scar said enough for her.“You still mad at Asajj about that?”

“She almost gave you a _concussion_.”

“She really is sorry.It was an accident, Cad.”

“Then if she’s as good a fighter as she claims to be, she should have known better.It was _careless_.”

Ahsoka sighed and crossed her legs.

“Yeah, well, I’m still going to insist you’re too hard on her.I heard how much you yelled at her after that.”

“I’m not apologizing.”

“You should.”

Bane’s consequential glare at her made the silence awkward.Ahsoka had gotten used to constantly trying to make Bane and Asajj get along better.Their relationship, or lack thereof, had improved since Asajj joined them three months ago.But they still clashed regularly.Ahsoka hated it.

“So, got another job lined up?” she finally asked.

“Yeah, in two days.Corellia.”

“Corellia’s nice.”Maybe she could explore one of the cities there.Or just find the nearest bar and get hammered with Asajj.Again.

“Why do you want to know?Want to come with this time?”

“No, I’ll stay.”

Bane finished the rest of his beer and set it on the table.

“I get it.Trying to get rid of me because I’m being ‘over-protective’ again.”

“What?I wasn’t…getting rid of you.”Although she had to admit to herself, with how often they blew up at each other these days, the ship seemed a lot calmer when Bane was away.No…she hated to admit it.Her moods were far worse than his.If anyone should get away and give the others peace, it was her.

“You and Asajj probably plan to kick me out.I get it.No big deal.I understand you two lesbians need your ‘alone time,’” he said dryly.

“Where is this coming from?” she snapped.

Bane sighed and rubbed his brow.Being stuck with him almost every day for close to a year now, she immediately knew what that meant.He had had nightmares last night, too.

“We’re not leaving you, Cad.Did you dream about that?”

He nodded silently, resting his hand on his mouth and staring off.He looked hollowed out.

“In my nightmares, I see Vader,” she said. _Every day, I hear him_ , she wanted to say.But how could she explain the constant voice in her head without sounding insane…or, _more_ insane?

“In mine, I’m abandoned.”He took a sugar packet and flipped it absently between his fingers.“Everything just…wanders away and never looks back.I wake up thinking you’re gone.”

“I know,” Ahsoka said quietly.“Asajj told me about her nightmares too.A lot of them are about Dathomir.And Count Dooku.That’s all she let me know.”

“That’s a given.”He stood up and cracked his back.“Maybe I should reschedule the job for another day.We can take a break, go do something together.”

“You and me?”

“You know, like old times.When Skywalker was paying me to train you and I would teach you how to cheat at cards.”

“Oh, yeah…”Those were the only _old times_ she would ever care to relive with Bane.“But what for?I had my whole day planned.Go out to the nearest spaceport, go looking around for any fugitive Jedi, get nearly arrested by yet another cheap bounty hunter chasing after us, come back here, and drink until I pass out.”

“Yeah, I got a better idea.Let’s go target shooting with the sniper rifles.”

Blow off steam by firing blasts at an inanimate hologram?She couldn’t think of anything better to do with her day.

* * *

Ahsoka aimed the rifle at the target carefully.  She had selected the hologram of one of Empire’s newly christened ‘stormtroopers’ as her practice target.  They looked very similar to clone troopers, but the differences stood out enough.

The first time stormtroopers came after them had startled Ahsoka.Despite the strong differences in armor design, they could not help but remind her of the clones.And all the men she lost under her command.But that was months ago.She could get used to it now.

The hard ground around them hurt to lay down on.Stretching out in every direction of _Sleight of Hand_ was the wasteland of the Talus system.Dry plains with long fields and a lake in the distance if she looked out far enough.The cloudy sky made everything look gray and lifeless.

Before shooting, just to show off more to herself than to Bane, she pulled away to take a long drag from the cigarette she balanced on the ground.Then she adjusted her rifle again, took aim, and fired two blasts at the hologram’s chest.It faded instantly, and was replaced by another hologram that began running at her.She took the second hologram down with a single headshot.

As she waited for the simulation to reactivate, Ahsoka glanced at Bane, tapping the toes of her boots against the dirt.Bane had taken off his hat and set it aside, all his focus set on his own target…which strongly resembled the bounty hunter, Boba Fett.Odd.

Fortunately, they had not seen him since the incident on Nar Shaddaa.But he would be back, they all knew that much.Boba Fett wasn’t like the other bounty hunters they ran into now and then, all of whom they could take down in a fight if they were together.Fett was very good.

Bane muttered something as he shot at the target, but it was difficult to understand at first.The hologram appeared again and he shot at it and said the same thing again.

“Take _that_ , little runt…”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and looked back at her target.So Bane still held a grudge against the far younger hunter for taking him down so easily like that.

“When we’re finished here, I’m hitting the nearest town.”

“Sorry, ‘Soka, am I boring you?”

“This isn’t doing it for me.”She shot the hologram a few more times as it came up, but turned off the simulation after that.There was no adrenaline rush from this at all.Slinging the rifle over her shoulder, Ahsoka got up and began heading back to the ship to grab some credits.

“Whatever.Suit yourself,” Bane muttered.

As she walked away, she briefly considered offering to play cards with Bane when he was finished.‘Just like old times,’ he had said.Back when all she had was her apartment on Coruscant and a dim future, but a future nonetheless.But at the last moment, she changed her mind, as she could not see the point of it anyway.Possibly better in the long run to forget all the old times.


	22. Chapter 22

Ahsoka pulled on her black leather jacket before heading out of the ship again, eyes set on the speeder bike waiting outside.She had stolen it several weeks ago, gave it a new engine and a paint job, and cleaned it up.Now it was her baby.When she opted to take it rather than pay for it, the moral weight of her decision never occurred to her until later.And it seemed odd that roughly a year ago she would have judged someone for doing the very same thing.

It was too easy to sense Bane watching her absently from _Sleight_.The small want to spend the rest of her day with him continued to linger.To pretend, for one afternoon, that they were going to be all right.Might do them good.But she kept walking anyway.She couldn’t stop herself.

As she climbed on the speeder bike and polished off her goggles, Bane slowly approached her, like he was hesitating to say something.

“Sure you don’t want to stay?Nearest city’s almost an hour from here.”He adjusted his hat.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.Being cooped up in your old ship all the time isn’t my idea of a good time,” she said, harsher than she meant to.

Bane’s gaze turned cold and he glanced away.

“Fine.I have important things to do anyway.Don’t need you getting in my way.”

Ahsoka figured she should drive off before this escalated into another big fight between them.She was sick of fighting.

“One more thing,” Bane added as she adjusted her goggles.“Since you’ll be away, you might as well order more fuel.And meds.And food.”

“Sure, whatever.”Like hell she would let Bane turn her night out into an errand run.She sped off with her speeder bike and adjusted the music she was playing to full volume.Even this could not drown out Vader’s voice constantly in her head.Always whispering reminders to her that she already knew.

Then again, at least no one would stare at her if she talked back now.

Ahsoka squeezed the handlebars of the speeder bike, jaw clenched.

“You can cut it out already,” she said aloud.Almost called him _Skyguy_ out of habit.But no.This person…no, this _monster_ …it was not her Skyguy.Anakin Skywalker is dead.

_“The Jedi are dead too.You spend your time looking for them everywhere you go.You hope that one day you’ll find someone who survived.”_ She felt Vader smile. _“You won’t.”_

“I don’t believe you,” Ahsoka snapped.

_“It’s lonely, isn’t it?Knowing you’re the only Jedi left?How does it feel?”_

“It’s not true!There are others out there, I know it.Someday I’ll find them all.”Her eyes got a little misty.“Besides, I’m not a Jedi anymore.Get your facts right, Vader.”

_“If you’re not a Jedi, then why does this matter to you?They’re the ones who abandoned you.They didn’t believe you when you said you were innocent.They cast you out and then claimed it was some sort of ‘test’.”_ Now Vader almost sounded as if he was pleading with her.His voice no longer sounded so loud and intimidating in her head, but a fragile whisper.More like a child than a machine. _“They betrayed you and you want to defend them…why, Snips?Why are you trying to protect the people who took you away from me?”_

“It’s not that simple.You know that…”She clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth.

_“But it is.If it wasn’t for the Jedi, you never would have gone through that humiliating experience.You never would have had to walk away.You never would have lost me.”_

“You lost yourself…”But her voice was wavering.Thoughts of the past, of what could have been, pulled her in.She drove her speeder bike a little faster as the edges of the city slowly came into view.The winding neighborhoods circled around the old shops selling broken pieces of garbage a seller tried to pass off as ‘ships.’Younglings playing in the street regarded the young Togrutan stranger speeding past with tears running her mascara down her cheeks.Like a goddamn cliché.

_“You know it’s true, Snips…if it wasn’t for the Jedi, we would still be together.It was the Jedi who pushed us apart.And here you are, thinking you can save them.You’re making a mistake.”_

Ahsoka parked her speeder at the first cantina she saw and got out.She took off her goggles and hung them on the handlebar, then used her leather gloves to wipe her stained cheeks.

“Go away.”She recalled she shouldn’t talk to him aloud anymore and shut her mouth.As darkness was beginning to fall, Ahsoka slipped in the cantina and ordered shots for herself.She craved company…physical company.Someone she could smell and hold.Someone who wasn’t stuck in her head.

In a strange sense, Vader’s voice quieted down as Ahsoka made her way through the cantina, looking for a girl to pick up after she had had a couple shots.Perhaps the alcohol pushed Vader out.Or he had given up and let her be at peace for at least an hour or so.If that were the case, she had to take advantage of it.

It did not take long for Ahsoka to catch someone’s eye.A Human girl who looked roughly Ahsoka’s age, hanging around in the back of the cantina, drinking Corellian tequila.She wore purple lipstick and a tight black skirt, her black hair pulled back in a set of tight braids woven together…gods, did Ahsoka know her type well.Unfortunately, Ahsoka’s hunting skills only made up for her horrendous lacking in flirting skills.

Whether the Human girl was drunk enough to think her attempts at it were cute, or she was as desperate for intimacy as Ahsoka was.Not that it mattered.

Ahsoka knew it was stupid to do this while drinking, but she could not care less.The warmth and ecstasy filling her body was doing the trick.The smell of someone else’s sweat on her own skin.The taste of Corellian tequila under her tongue.She dragged the Human girl to the dark hallway next to the women’s fresher, telling her terrible jokes as she pinned her against the wall.Their kisses seemed to get sloppier by the minute.

Against her better judgement, Ahsoka agreed to go with back to the girl’s hotel room.They spent all night together, taking breaks between fake orgasms to smoke and stare up at the stars, like that sort of thing was romantic or something.The Human girl talked absently of the family waiting back home and all she had to look forward to when she went back to school next semester.As for her Togrutan one night stand, she only listened so she could pretend they would see each other tomorrow.That she was invested in another life for once…a normal life ruled by final exams and obnoxious parents, not wondering why your best friend had taken everything away.

She forgot how _good_ this felt.Who was the last one?Probably Barriss.Then it had been over a year.Should be a crime to get laid less than once a month, Ahsoka pondered.

With less than three hours left before sunrise, the Human girl, whose name had already slipped Ahsoka’s memory, curled up under the covers and could not stay awake any longer.Ahsoka lay down next to her, hoping to get some more warmth from her body.The moment had already begun slipping away, leaving a pit of emptiness in Ahsoka’s stomach.If only she knew some way to make it last longer.

* * *

_"Sorry to make this so sudden, Cad.”  Ahsoka smiled sweetly at him.  One of her arms was bent at an awkward angle, and her nose was broken, but she made no motion to help herself.  It was as if her body was slowly falling apart._

_What was the matter with her?Why was she acting like she wasn’t hurt?_

_“Just let me help.”Bane reached out for her but she stepped back._

_The middle of her shirt slowly discolored.Blood.Had she been stabbed?_

_“I said sorry, Cad.You’re just not…_ needed _.Not anymore.”_

_He stared at her, not believing it.Or not wanting to.Ahsoka stared back as blood ran between her teeth, coloring them pink.She sure wasn’t the teenage brat he met all those years ago.She was all grown up._

_“But you need help,” he insisted.“Look at you, you’re hurt.”The blood on her torso was spreading._

_“You’re joking, right?I’m fine!I don’t even feel a thing!” she laughed.With that, the Togrutan turned on her heel.“Listen.It was fun, seeing you as a friend, even like some sort of father figure.But I have Asajj now.You’re out of the picture.”_

_“Stop lying to me, ‘Soka!” he snapped at her, feeling as if a rope were being tightened around his neck._

_“You’re just not…useful.Why is this so hard for you to understand?”_

_Maybe there had been a time when Ahsoka would not make it without Bane there to show her around, teach her the dirtier means of survival they hid from her at the Jedi Temple.Pick the kid up where the Jedi abandoned her.Help her grow her wings back._

_But she didn’t need those wings anymore.She could walk without him beside her._

_She did not need him._ Nobody _did._

_It didn’t matter, anyway.They had started as strangers, and as fate would have it, they would end as strangers._

_As he watched her leave, blood trickling down her legs and leaving a long trail behind her, she remained blissfully unaware that she was dying, and she never looked back once.The rope around his neck continued to tighten until the ground shook underneath him._

_He always woke up before the ground gave out._

* * *

Ventress noticed something was bothering Bane as soon as she saw him outside the ship.  It had been another long restless night for her.  Nowadays, if her own nightmares didn’t wake her, Tano’s usually did.  She wanted to cut the kid some slack, since she understood some of the trauma Tano had been through, but it was getting frustrating.  And she had Bane to deal with at the same time too.

“What is it?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t bring her bad news.She swallowed her pills and waited for them to kick in.They had been stolen from the last spaceport, of course.Ventress couldn’t remember the last time she paid for any medicine.

“Nothing you’d care about.”

“Humor me then.”She leaned against the doorway.“You know, if you want some of my pills, just ask.”

“It’s not that.”Bane refused to look at her.“Just another nightmare, that’s all.”

“Ahh.I thought you were still fuming about the time young Fett knocked you out.”

He sneered at her.Of course, that was the exact reaction she had been expecting from him.When Cad Bane wasn’t working, he tended to lower his guard, and this made him a hilariously predictable person.

“That wasn’t on my mind but _now_ that you bring it up…”He got up.“I’m over it.”

“You sure know how to hold a grudge.”

“And you don’t?”

“My point is…”She glanced away and adjusted her long sleeves which were torn at the ends.She picked at a small dried bloodstain on the toe of her boot.“I’m bored living like this.It’s either running from the authorities or do nothing around your crummy ship.And you’re not making it any better with all your sulking.”

He looked disgusted with her, like she had suggested that they get married, or worse still, go on a meat-free diet.

“What are you suggesting?”

“If you want revenge on Boba, you should go take care of it.Not make the rest of us miserable about it.”

“But ‘Soka—”

“Doesn’t need you.She’s not a child.”Ventress didn’t know why he looked at her that way after she said it.Maybe something else bothered him about that statement she had no way of knowing about.“You can comm her if you’re worried about her, but she’ll get on just fine without you always watching her.”

“I don’t trust you to stay here.Backstabbing is your favorite pastime.”

She grinned at the irony of that statement.

“I never do it by choice, you know.Hard not to when your own back’s against the wall.”She heard her own voice getting quieter.“But I have no plans to be who I used to be anytime soon.If that’s any comfort to you.”Ventress almost made a face…speaking her own emotions?Opening up about her past?She must have taken too many pills.

Bane walked off.Ventress could see him getting his weapons together and packing.Must have finally taken her advice after all.

“I’m not going to kill him, you know.Not at first anyway.I’ll get information out of him.If he’s working for the Empire, he could have some useful things to tell us.Maybe then I’ll let him go so he can run off with his tail between his legs.”

“Good thinking.Tell him Asajj said hello.”

“Don’t count on it,” Bane muttered.

With not much better to do, Ventress watched him pack out of the corner of her eye, while glancing at the holovision to catch up on any recent news.Seemed to be nothing but Imperial propaganda these days, encouraging students to enlist in the army.Pathetic.Even depressing.Before Bane slipped out the door with his pack, he glanced over his shoulder at Ventress.

“Keep in contact if you leave the system,” he said.

“Of course.Good luck on tracking down a twelve year old, by the way.”

“ _Thirteen_.”He stormed out, his techno service droid following behind.

_Just too predictable,_ Ventress thought smugly to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you've guessed by now I headcanon post-Jedi Order Ahsoka as a 'hot mess' if you will. The poor girl has fought in a war, tortured/kidnapped, betrayed by the people who raised her, cue bad coping mechanisms. Everyone saying she is flawless and perfect annoys me and you can pry hot mess Ahsoka from my cold dead hands!
> 
> Also, I headcanon Cad Bane having deep abandonment issues...something else to pry from my cold dead hands.


	23. Chapter 23

To say she had the worst hangover in the Outer Rim would be an understatement.Ahsoka Tano’s head pounded so much she could hardly see ten feet in front of her.Somehow, she managed to leave the hotel, get on her speeder bike, and drive it, albeit very slowly, back to _Sleight of Hand_.Luckily she only had to stop three times when she was sick.Good thing she didn’t know she looked almost as bad as she felt.

She had grown so used to Bane’s presence in the Force that she knew he was gone the instant she pulled up to the ship.The Force felt odd around her.As if everything had been moved one inch to the left.He wasn’t here.Ahsoka held her head and stumbled in the ship.

She missed when the Force used to do the same thing with Anakin’s presence.But after some time, she just got used to it.

As soon as she saw Ventress, inside watching the holovision, she blurted out,

“Where’s Cad?And please, _please_ make some more caf.”

“He left.”

“I know that, but where _is_ he?”

Ventress rolled her eyes as she got up to put on some caf.Ahsoka collapsed on the sofa, holding her head and moaning.

“To find Boba Fett.He’s still pissed about being taken down on Nar Shaddaa.”

“So he just ran off on a stupid mission because his ego got hurt by a kid?”She made a face.

“Typical men.”

“Typical _Cad_ ,” Ahsoka specified, rubbing her temples.

Right on cue, Vader was there to comment on the situation.

_“He’s probably fed up with you, Snips.No wonder he’s walking away.This was inevitable, we both know that.”_

Shut up, Vader.Ahsoka fought the urge to snap at him aloud.She didn’t need Ventress looking at her like she had grown two heads.

_“Why do you keep defending the people who abandon you?The Jedi, and now the bounty hunter.Why, Snips?Do you_ enjoy _being left behind?”_

Ahsoka stood up and poured some caf, wondering how many pills she would have to swallow until she never heard Vader’s voice again.Or how many girls she would have to fuck in a row so Vader finally shut up for good.She supposed, playing with the idea only lightly, that going back to meet him and do what he asked her to would also do the trick.

“Think he’ll come back?” Ahsoka dared ask.

“This _is_ his ship, so I’m expecting him to.Why?”

“Nothing.I’m just tired of everyone leaving me.I never thought you’d stay this long, you know.”

Ventress glanced at her, and in that moment, Ahsoka felt something in the Force between them.She was reminded of the time she told Ventress they had a few things in common.It still rang true.Both of them knew what it was like to be cast aside and forced to fend on their own, rejected by the same people who held their full trust so delicately.And to think they had once been nothing more than enemies, that is, in a war neither of them were meant to win.The Dathomirian woman leaned against the counter facing Ahsoka, watching her carefully, as if trying to read her every move.Ahsoka looked back and bit her lip, pretending she had never found Ventress very attractive.

“Funny you say that.I didn’t think I’d stay this long, either.”

“Then how come you haven’t left yet?”Ahsoka leaned a bit closer to her.Now her eyes were on Ventress’ jawline, her cheekbones, her lips, her neck.What was wrong with her?Was it the hangover talking?

_“They’ll all leave you behind, Ahsoka.You know it.You’re just reaching for something you know isn’t there.Ventress will never make you feel the things you need to feel.The things…I can help you feel.”_

Ahsoka froze as she felt a slight pang in her gut at those words.Gods…Vader knew her.Not just who she had been when she left the Order, but who she was _now_.He could sense what she wanted.It was as if nothing she could feel was hers alone to feel anymore…

This wasn’t Anakin.It was a creature that had been torn to pieces and rebuilt into this form of a monster.

“I guess it’s because I’d rather fight with old enemies than fight alone,” Ventress said quietly.

“But we’re _more t_ han just old enemies, right?I mean…are we friends?” she asked, almost hopefully.In case her fears were real and Bane was going to drift away from her.She would not last by herself.

“Woah, woah, not too fast,” Ventress laughed.“Who needs friends when you can just have old enemies?”

Ahsoka bit her lip.It might not hurt to remind Ventress that she was legally an adult now, in the happenstance Ventress even wanted to be with her.Probably not.But could be worth a try.

“Ever wanted to kiss your old enemy?”She tried on her cutest smile.

The question seemed to catch Ventress off guard.Her eyes widened and her jaw slackened a bit, and her eyes locked on the young Togrutan.She looked about to say something, but at the last moment, exchanged it for a response less out of emotion, and more out of reason.

“You should go lie down.You had too much to drink last night.”

“Oh…I guess you’re right.”Ahsoka felt heat rush to her cheeks, realizing she had not been playing the role of a flirty young woman at all, but a hypersexual teenager with no self control.After all, she did still smell of alcohol and probably had lipstick stains on her clothes.Nothing appealing about that at all.Ventress actually had standards.

Humiliated, she went back to bed and hid under the sheets, aching for something she did not understand.Did she miss the girl she had sex with last night, the comfort of the Jedi Temple, Anakin’s comforting words?Or just the way things used to be?

_“She’s going to leave you, too.They all do.It’s just a betrayal waiting to happen.Everyone goes away and abandons you eventually.I would know.Even my own apprentice abandoned me!”_ Vader cried out in her head.

Ahsoka gasped as she felt the vibrations from his anger, his burning rage.And his agony.Leaving her wondering what had been going through Anakin’s head as she walked away from him that fateful day, as both of them blamed themselves for everything.

Both of them dwelled on what could have been.The war they could have won side by side.The lives they could have saved.The memories they could have shared.Anakin could have watched her finish growing up, she could have watched him go on to become a Jedi Master and free the slaves after the war.The dreams they both used to have, one by one, shared through their connection in the Force, until Ahsoka could feel the things Anakin had wished for with her, and he could see her dreams as well.

But it was all taken from them.They had their chance and lost it all.

If the Council had not turned on her like that, maybe things would not have ended up this way.She could have been a Jedi Knight saving the galaxy, instead of a washed up mess hanging out with criminals.She could have had a future with Anakin by her side, not taken away from him.All that changed because of that false accusation, from a friend no less.

If it wasn’t for the Jedi.

_“You see, now, Snips?The Jedi took you from me.They made me who I am now.They were the ones lying to us, betraying the Republic.”_

Ahsoka shut her eyes.It hit her so hard she could feel it physically ache in her heart.Perhaps that part of her that tried to stay blissfully ignorant for so long had finally been broken down.It was time to give up on ever being who she used to be before.

Vader was right…

The Jedi were to blame.

“What happened to you, Master?” she whispered into the darkness, shaking uncontrollably.“How did you…become like this?Tell me what happened.I need to know.”

Vader’s rage slowly faded out until Ahsoka could breathe a little easier.His presence seemed calm again, but calm in the sense that a storm could strike at any given moment, and there was no way of knowing when.It was as calm as Vader would ever be.

_“I will tell you everything.Just come back to me.Come to Mustafar.”_

Of course, he would want her to go there.The place that had been haunting her nightmares for months now.The Dark Side had always had a presence there.

_“I’ll be waiting, Snips.”_

Then her head was silent once again.

Mustafar.Where the Force-sensitive younglings had been taken, for whatever terrible fate awaited them there.Vader wanted her to meet him there.And probably suffer the same they would have if they hadn’t been rescued…by her and Anakin, ironically.If she chose Mustafar, that would mean destroying any chance at an alternative path.No going back or changing her mind.Only farther down the dark path in her Master’s footsteps.

Was that meant for her?Would it be easier to let the Dark Side win this time and do what Vader wanted her to do?Was it worth giving up her future for the answers of what happened to Anakin?

Could she even save him, much less herself?

Wanting to scream in frustration, Ahsoka sat up on the bed and hit her head against the wall, not having the slightest idea what she was going to do.

She needed help.But in that moment, Ahsoka never felt so alone.

* * *

 

Eriadu system.  With its surprisingly small population, it still boasted a strong industrious culture.  And it had become even more so since the end of the war.  Which made it a breeding ground for new criminal work and an ideal location for the Bounty Hunters’ Guild to make a new stance.

Meaning Boba Fett would not be far away.

It only took two days for Bane to figure out Eriadu was one of the most likely places he would find the young bounty hunter.Thanks to his connections to the criminal activity there, and how much he knew about Boba.When he arrived, he armed himself to the teeth and set out to the capital city.

In the underworld of the city, Bane found one of his old business associates, an informant who normally stuck closer to the Outer Rim territories, but had found different places to do work when the Clone Wars ended.He provided Bane with a lead on how to find Boba Fett, who, as it turned out, was working on his own again.In a region of the city being paid to clean out pirate activity.

As Bane prepared to find and confront Boba, he realized he had not been working alone in almost a year now.Maybe he thought he would end up feeling like his old self again.Returning to the old way of doing his job.But he had to admit, considering recent events, he doubted his old self would ever find its way back.Not that it really mattered.

Did Ahsoka even need him anymore? he had to ask himself.

She wasn’t a kid anymore.And she had Ventress.Her own path to follow, too.Whatever her connection to Vader meant for her, Bane had nothing to do with it.

The more he thought about it, the more Bane realized that Ahsoka was probably better off without him, anyway.So if he just went back after taking care of Boba, gave them enough credits for a new ship, and took off, she would not have to worry about him any longer.It was probably for the best.

He sure did enjoy looking after the poor kid while it lasted.Almost gave him a sense of closure for his own past and the years spent not so unlike little Tano.

His thoughts were interrupted when he saw Boba Fett leaving his ship.Just as Bane knew he would.The Duros got up and began to follow him at a safe distance, but not before sending Todo his coordinates so they could be tracked by the droid.If all went according to plan, he might get an extra bonus besides taking down the young Fett.

Unfortunately, what Bane did not know was that Boba Fett was not alone.A masked figure, underweight and dressed completely in black, her facial diamond markings scarred by multiple electrocution burns, awaited the bounty hunter’s return to Eriadu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I kinda ship Ahsoka and Asajj, but I really like the idea of Asajj being one of the woman who helped Ahsoka realize she was gay, but their actual relationship would never work out.


	24. Chapter 24

Bane set his scope on the edge of the roof where he could overlook the building Boba had entered.He was certain no one knew he was there, or was keeping an eye on him.He had taken every precaution as usual to make sure he had not been followed, and that Boba was not with anyone else.As he looked through the scope, he got out his comm to contact Todo again.

The masked figure suddenly appeared beside Boba.Bane froze in place.

_Who the hell is that?_ He watched carefully.

As Bane studied the two, Boba approached the masked figure and seemed to start talking to her.Less than a minute later, he handed her a case.The figure opened it, revealing hundreds of credit chips inside.Bane’s eyes widened.

If only both of them hadn’t covered their faces, Bane might be lucky enough to get an idea of what they were saying.

It seemed like hours passed before Boba finally turned to leave.Bane could tell it was a long time because his back ached from staying still for so long.The masked figure turned away and disappeared as quickly as they appeared.Boba, meanwhile, continued onward through the docks.Wincing in pain—and fantasizing about no more than a heating pad on his bad back and some whiskey on the rocks—Bane got up to follow him.

_About damn time.I don’t like waiting for people._

He would worry about Boba’s little business associate some other time.

Going back to his original plan, Bane turned around the bend to cut Boba off before he reached _Slave I_ at the end of the docks.His back was killing him.He paused only to swallow more painkillers.Wasn’t always hooked on them but after Vader’s interrogators screwed him up…his health just hadn’t been the same.

All the more Ahsoka would be better off without him, he thought.

Poor kid had enough to worry about.Forget a hunter in poor health whose reputation was slowly, but surely, deteriorating.It was his own fault for thinking he could be the best in his profession for too long.

Boba did not see him coming.Bane began to focus his thoughts of self-loathing anger on the younger bounty hunter.Thinking of how Boba had become more popular than him in recent months.Ever since Bane was put down as wanted by the Empire.Thinking of how Boba would probably have it easier too, what with the Empire’s growing anti-nonhuman sympathies.That alone was enough to make Bane seethe with jealousy.

The young hunter sensed someone approaching him a moment too late.Bane struck him with a stun blast aimed at his legs, knocking the wind out of him.He ran towards Boba and whipped a cord around his ankles so he wouldn’t get up.

“Dammit!” Boba cried out, reaching for his blaster.He took a couple shots at Bane, nearly hitting him in the chest and shoulder.But not enough to stop or slow him.

Bane kicked the blaster out of his hand and planted his foot on the boy’s chest.But not before ripping off his helmet.It always took him back how Boba looked so much…older than he really was.

“Who were you just talking to?” Bane demanded.

“I don’t know what—”

Bane aimed his blaster at Boba’s forehead.

“You know I won’t ask a second time.”

To his surprise, Boba grinned, looking up at Bane like he had just told a corny joke.His chest shifted a bit as he held back a laugh.

“Somethin’ _funny_?”

“Just, I can’t believe you don’t _know_ …who else would hire me?”

Boba’s statement made it all clear to Bane.If it should be that obvious who Boba worked for, that only left one option.

“The Empire, huh?You’re still after the reward on me?”Bane sighed. _Of course he is._

“One million dead.Two million alive.”

“Too bad for you, this isn’t your lucky day.”Bane was about to pull the trigger when Boba spoke up again.

“ _Wait_!I never said I would only work for the Empire.”

Bane froze, glaring him down.Studying for any hint the kid was lying.

“Keep talking,” he sneered.

“Maybe you and I can work out a little deal.I’m not out to prove loyalty to anyone.Only the next person offering me the best bargain.”Boba’s eyes grew big and he relaxed his muscles.A liar would be struggling to show he wasn’t…

“And you think I’d actually be interested in a bargain with you?” Bane challenged, deciding to test Boba’s limits.

“You would be if I were to tell you the name of the Imperial I was talking to. _And_ where they’re headed next.”

The Duros had to hesitate and think it over a moment.If Ahsoka were with him right now, he would have to turn down the offer.Too much risk involved.Not just that he had no idea what sort of Imperial he was dealing with, but he didn’t know how far Boba could be trusted either.

But as it stood, Bane’s life was the only one at risk.He had nothing else to lose.If this plan failed, Ahsoka still couldn’t get hurt.

Once again, he was the only person he had to worry about.Which meant he didn’t have to worry at all.

That considered, it didn’t take Bane long to make his decision.

“What do you want in return?”

“You let me go free.And, you pay me the money I would have gotten if I revealed your location to the Empire.Fifty-thousand.”

A year ago, Bane would have scoffed at such a small sum.How times had changed for him.But information never came cheap, after all.

“All right, it’s a deal.Now give me the name,” Bane said.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Ahsoka packed her belongings and left.  She did not look back once at Bane’s ship, or leave a note for Ventress.  She let herself vanish like she had never been there to begin with.  The only thing she left behind, and by accident, was her tube of black lipstick in the small fresher.

It was better this way, she told herself.Really, she should have left long before it came down to this…being that Vader had become her last resort.

By the time dawn began to color the horizon, Ahsoka had sold her speeder, then used the last of what little money she had to buy a ship.A garbage ship that needed lots of TLC, but would at least get her off this planet and to the Mid Rim.She only packed what she needed—her lightsabers, a couple outfits, and the pills she had bought off the black market.

She should have left before Ventress was dragged into helping her…before Bane got hurt because of her…before _anyone_ had to suffer because of the mistakes she had made.It had been wrong of her to think she deserved anyone’s help when all she did was drag others down with her.

All she had left now was Vader.Mustafar.

The Dark Side.

Alone, back among the stars, Ahsoka was reminded of the day she walked away from the Jedi Order, heading out into a world that seemed so isolating and deadly.But this time, rather than walking away from her master, she was going back to him.Walking away from the light and the life she had bled and sweat to build for herself away from the Jedi.Walking towards Mustafar, a place that only spelled fire and destruction.Death.

_“There is always death, Snips,”_ Vader’s calm, reassuring voice in her head reminded her.

Was this the wrong choice for her?No doubt about that.Vader would kill her last hope for a better future.But she had spent so long struggling to keep the light inside her, and even after all that fighting, there was hardly any light left.All that fighting and she still became a walking corpse who hurt anyone who got too close to her.

So what was the point of continuing to fight if she would just continue hurting the people she tried to protect?What was the point of thinking she could get better when she couldn’t even get an hour’s worth of sleep before washing down sleeping pills with vodka?What was the point when she was always going to lose, just as her former master had lost?

She spent her whole life doing this, and look how she ended up.It was time to end it once and for all.

_“I miss you so much, Snips…I can’t wait to see you again.I need you.”_

“I…I think I need you, too.Every since I left, I’ve been a mess.”

_“It’s because you’re supposed to be with me.I became a mess after you left too.Everything fell apart for both of us.”_

Ever since she had finally left and began her journey back to Mustafar, Vader’s voice in her head changed.As if as soon as he knew she had accepted her fate to him, he could let himself break down.He could let the vulnerability inside him break its silence.He sounded smaller, weaker.Like a child inside her crying out for help.

It broke her heart.

_“But we can fix it now.We’re going to get everything back.And it can be just like it used to be.”_

“I’m coming home, Vader.I’m not going to leave you ever again,” she whispered to him.

Just her and Skyguy.Once in the light, now in the shadows.Once sworn to save the galaxy, now fated to burn it down.

It was always meant to be.She just pretended otherwise for far too long, and nearly killed her only friends in the process.

The same fate twisted around both of them, dragging them down together.Locking their hearts and souls.One had already fallen…now it was the other’s turn.

* * *

_“Just as Skywalker fell, so will his apprentice.”_

Vader bowed his head at the hologram of his master who had just spoken.

“Yes, my master.She will fall…I feel it too.”Her strength in the Force had been on the verge of falling to the Dark Side for so long, Vader knew a small push was all it would take.One push into the fire until she would be reborn, just as he was as well.

_“It seems you sent out the Inquisitors for nothing, then.You told me you would need them to bring her back.But your influence on her was more than enough.”_

“It was, master…” At first Vader thought this meant Sidious was commending him.His connection to Ahsoka had always been strong, but the way he learned how to act on it, to the point he could actively communicate to her through the Force…that was a whole new level of skill.Something the Jedi Order had refused to teach him.Of course, because they had been afraid of his potential.

But he stopped.He didn’t deserve that must recognition.No.Sidious was not going to reward him for bringing Ahsoka back singlehandedly…

_“You wasted resources on the Inquisitors.Therefore, you will face punishment for this oversight.”_

“But, Master…they can still find the other Jedi and wanted fugitives.I won’t let them go to waste.”Vader could feel a bit of desperation rise in his tone.Desperation to avoid failure of his master.To make him proud.To avoid being punished…

_“I should hope you can still find some use of them.Otherwise I will become very disappointed in you.”_

Vader nodded in understanding, trying to hide his fear of Sidious saying that Vader had failed him again.

“Yes, Master.I understand.I will not fail you.Skywalker’s apprentice will not turn back once she arrives.”He straightened.“There are still others the Inquisitors will find.With Ahsoka’s help, no one will escape us.”

_“Then go back to Mustafar and meet her there.You will bring her back to Coruscant after that, and we will continue her new training.”_ His hologram died out.

Vader practically ran to his ship waiting for him.No time to wait around.He had been waiting for this moment for _years_.Ahsoka would not dare turn her back to him after this.Not like the others….Obi-Wan, whose choice cost him his life…Padmé, who left him to fight against the Empire in the Senate…the Jedi Order, who rejected him when he needed them the most…and of course, Cad Bane, who could have had a pleasant future working solely for Vader who would give him all the benefits he wanted, if he had stayed.Everyone else left.But not Ahsoka.Not this time, anyway.

In fact, Ahsoka would not even _want_ to turn back after Vader’s plans were carried out.

All she had to do was see how much they were connected.How much she needed him…how much he needed her.How the Dark Side would be their home together from now on.


	25. Chapter 25

“She goes by the name Barriss,” Boba said.

“Barriss, huh?That wouldn’t be…”

“Yeah. _That_ one.”

Bane had heard the story of Barriss Offee’s betrayal to the Jedi Order.But of course, it wasn’t until he was hired to look after Ahsoka that he learned the other side of the story.How Ahsoka was framed by her friend and put on trial.It had taken a few shots of tequila over a card game for Ahsoka to spill the story to him, before she passed out on the couch of his apartment, and Bane had no choice but to let her sleep there until they continued training the next day.

Betrayal violated something in you.It rejected your hope that someone could be trusted in.Killed the part of you that knew how to love.Unraveled years of threading together the best parts of you.Bane saw all of it in young Ahsoka’s eyes as she cried her eyes out, lamenting what the Jedi Order had done.What Barriss had done.Stirred part of Bane’s heart that had not been touched in decades.

It also him hold a grudge against Barriss, whom he never planned to meet, and hoped he never would.Not until now.

“ _She’s_ working for the Empire?”Bane frowned.

Of course.Who isn’t nowadays?

“You’ll find her at the secondary facility on Mustafar…if what I heard about you a few years back is true, you should know where that is.”Boba said the words as if they cut like a knife in his throat to say them.

He did.He remembered.

“Why Mustafar?”

“Does it matter?”Boba dusted himself off.“That’s all I can tell you, Bane.You’ll find her on Mustafar.And the sooner you get there, the better chance you have of stopping her.”

“From doing what?”He realized the answer as soon as he asked the question.He felt a sinking feeling turn his blood cold as ice.“She…is going to kill Tano.”

When Boba didn’t answer, that was enough for Bane.He stepped back, still watching the younger bounty hunter carefully.

“How do I know you’re not lying?”

“If you don’t believe me, feel free to put a tracking device on my ship.That should clear up any worry of being followed into a trap.”

“Watch it.”Bane sneered before walking off, sick with worry.

_What is Ahsoka doing on Mustafar?Dammit.I shouldn’t have left…_

_This is my fault.If she gets killed, it’ll be on me._

But she’s not dead yet, he reminded himself.Plenty of time for self-loathing later.

_Mustafar, huh?Odd coincidence…no, not a coincidence at all.If Barriss plans to kill ‘Soka, Vader must have sent her._ The one who started this whole mess.

Mustafar.Bane recalled the last time he was there.Where he sent Force-sensitive infants to lose their lives forever.Took them from their families.Not that it mattered since the Jedi kept the children afterwards…Bane was just a step ahead of their plans.Mustafar, where a dark plan had been stopped thanks to Skywalker and his apprentice getting the better of Bane.Mustafar, where Sidious showed Bane what happens when he didn’t finish the job.Bane could still feel the Force lightning through his nerves, if he closed his eyes.

Mustafar, where Ahsoka Tano would die if he didn’t stop it first.

As he readied his ship and left for the only planet he could honestly describe as a ‘living hell,’ Bane realized a truth he had denied for far too long.A truth that had begun sinking into his subconscious long before he met Vader for the first time, long before he went from the best bounty hunter of his day to a fugitive constantly running to stay alive.

He did not care if he lost his life.Only that Ahsoka was spared.

No one would miss him when he died.He would just disappear from the galaxy without a trace, nothing to show for it, nothing to leave behind, no place he would want his physical shell to be laid to rest.Only a reputation slowly dying anyway, and a place somewhere in the stars he would have to look for to belong, eventually.A whole life spent living hand to hand, destroying to survive, killing to live, always looking over his shoulder and fighting to be at the top of the hill.Nobody would shed a tear when he got what was coming to him.

He had done what he had to do.That much was true.Justified some, but not nearly enough for him to be reconciled with his soul.For years he had become so used to loathing his entire being for what he had done that it seemed bizarre, almost frightening, to imagine a life worth living.

It would be easier to go out the way he had been cursed to be.And not even consider the man he could be.

In a word, if Mustafar meant his death, Bane was ready to say goodbye.He had been ready for as long as he could remember.At least he had given the galaxy his worst while he could.

Before he could change his mind, he commed the last person he wanted to talk to.

_“Bane…?It’s the middle of the night.There had better be a good reason for this.”_

“Ventress.I fucked up.”

_“Well,_ that’s _a first.”_

Bane bit his tongue.Even in these circumstances, he had to fight back the instinct to retort.

“The kid’s in trouble.I have to go save her.”

_“And you need my help.”_ Ventress’ tone had suddenly changed.From annoyed apathy to hesitant concern.So Ventress had a soft spot for Ahsoka, too.

“You’re still on my ship, aren’t you?I hate doing this, but I’ll have to trust you to fly her to the coordinates I’m about to send you.”

_“What are they?”_

“Mustafar system.”

_“I’m not going to that hellhole, Bane.No chance.”_

“Vader is going to have Ahsoka killed there.If you want a shot at killing him, and possibly an Inquisitor, you’ll be there.Otherwise, you’ll be missing out on all the fun.”

Bane wasn’t even sure Vader would be there.But how else could he convince Ventress to help out?

_“I’ll think about it…”_ She finally said.

“Think faster than you usually tend to do.”He rubbed his brow.“I couldn’t care less what you choose, you know that.But if Ahsoka dies, it’s on you.Oh, one more thing…if I don’t make it back, give Todo an oil bath and see that he’s taken good care of.”

Hands shaking, he shut off his comm so Ventress wouldn’t have the luxury of replying.

* * *

Boba Fett watched Bane’s ship depart the planet.  Sure enough, Bane had placed a tracking device on Boba’s ship.  As to be expected, Bane did not trust anybody in this galaxy.  Boba understood that more than he would ever admit.

Too bad for Bane, a tracking device alone would not be enough.

Boba raised his comm to his lips and spoke softly.In case Bane had hidden any other devices that might record his voice if he raised it just enough.

“This is Fett.He is on his way to the secondary facility on Mustafar.”

_“Good work, bounty hunter.Your payment will be on its way,”_ the Inquisitor answered. _“Stay in position until you are told otherwise.Then Vader will need you for another job.”_

“And what will that be?”

_“Disposing of evidence on Mustafar, mostly.There can be no trace that Bane was ever there.Vader has requested that we make his death as discreet as possible.”_

So Boba had sent him to his death after all.

“All right.I will stay on standby, then.”Boba put on his helmet and walked away.

Guilt tugged at him like gravity.Not for lying to Bane, of course…Boba could easily accept that.But that he had taken the Galactic Empire’s side.The Empire, in the young several months it had taken rise, had not hesitated to discriminate unfairly toward non-Humans, Force-sensitives, and anyone who expressed the smallest of anti-Imperial sympathies.

In his heart, Boba knew it was wrong.But in his mind, he justified that it was too late to change anything.

* * *

Asajj Ventress prepared _Sleight of Hand_ for takeoff.  The coordinates Bane sent her were in the holocomputer.  All she had to do was enter them in and set the course for hyperspace.

She began pacing around.She had always despised this ship.Despised its filth, disorganization, chaotic reminders of its owner.Then, in the back room, Ahsoka had left almost all of her things.The note she left behind for Ventress was still propped up on the counter.

It did not take Ventress as long as she thought it would to make her decision.

“Todo 360, if I put the coordinates in for the ship, you’ll be able to stay here and keep it on auto-pilot, won’t you?”

“I’ve been programmed to do so many times, Miss Ventress.”

“Good.Then you’re going to take this ship to your master.And tell him I said Hi.”

Todo almost looked as if he were sulking.He stepped back, tiny arms raised up in the air, as he kicked an empty beer can on the floor.Cigarette ashes were tossed around inside.

“Oh, so I suppose _everyone_ is leaving nowadays, it seems?” the techno-service droid fussed.“First Mr. Bane goes off on his own little mission, then Miss Tano runs away for no apparent reason, and now you are going to leave us too.”

“Wow, were you programmed to bitch about every little thing?” she muttered.Ventress only took what she needed, which wasn’t much.Even considering everything else, it did not feel right to steal out of greed, only necessity.She took a couple extra weapons for good measure, deciding Bane could do without a small handful of them.And a bottle of vodka, because that counted as necessity to her these days.But when it came to Ahsoka’s belongings, Ventress could not bring herself to disturb them.

_Sorry, Tano…but I do best on my own.Where I can go by my own rules.Not worry about anyone getting in my way.It’s better this way._

_I’m sure you’ll thank me later._

With a small sigh, she grabbed her lightsabers and pulled on her cloak.

“Where do these coordinates lead to, if I may ask?” Todo chirped.

“Mustafar system.You’ll find Bane there.You’ll be very useful to him.”

“Oh, I’m not sure I’m not so useful to him as much these days…”

Did Todo sound…almost _sad_ because of this?Ventress could relate to how he felt.

“I think you have lots of good use in you yet, little droid.”With that, Ventress turned away from the little home she had found for a few months.

Dare she say, the last remnant of the _family_ she had found, if only for a while. 

* * *

 

Caverns of lava formed in the distance as Ahsoka began her descent onto Mustafar.  Her heart pounded in her montrals.  Almost immediately, the nightmares from before struck her consciousness, all the way from her stomach to her spine.

Vader’s presence had never felt so strong.Whereas the voice in her head had been trickling, a small constant stream filling the cracks left behind by the deaths of so many Jedi, this…crashed down, wave upon wave, a strength she had missed for so long.Washing away every moment since they parted ways.Drowning out every part of the Light Side of the Force that screamed at her to run away from this place.

She was home…

The steps of the Jedi Temple echoed beneath her feet, each one, reminding her of what she lost.The dark, furious skies of the planet opened up like arms welcoming her in to an embrace.Fire greeted her with far more kindness than the Order ever did.She had fallen so far.

“Master…”She bit her lip.No.No more tears.She was done crying.

Hands trembling, she focused on landing her ship.When she touched ground, Ahsoka decided all she would need to bring with were her lightsabers.Nothing else needed anymore.

Her knees trembled as she rose and descended the ramp, making her way down a long bridge leading to the facility safe from the lava.Fumes of smoke choked the air, and even after a full minute of walking, Ahsoka found it growing difficult to breathe.The hot air made her skin itch.

_“I would never let anyone hurt you, Ahsoka…never._

_“Trust me…”_

There he stood, at the entrance to the building, a black hood shielding his face from her, gusts of wind pulling at his clothing.He almost seemed taller, now.The reek of the Dark Side, now a comforting sensation to Ahsoka that she felt hollow without, flowed through his blood and every thought.Slowly, he lifted his eyes towards her…they were no longer the color of the sky, but of the lava around them.A haunting, golden yellow.Yet, he still seemed exactly the same as when Ahsoka said goodbye over two years ago now.So much had changed and yet…she still saw no one but Anakin when she saw him.

An ache formed in her throat.

His lips didn’t move, but she heard his voice clear as day.

_“Snips…you’ve finally come home.”_

Unable to restrain herself, Ahsoka ran to him.The distance cleared between Master and Apprentice, she stared up at his face.Now up close, she saw the slight discolor in his complexion, the dark indigo circles under his eyes, his chapped lips.With a slight smile, whether of bliss or mischief, Vader removed his hood.His hair, now darker, had now grown nearly down to his elbows, and was pulled back in a messy ponytail.Loose strands hung around the sides of his face and over his eyes.When he spoke, his voice sounded exactly the same as when she last heard it.

“Ahsoka.Ready to become my apprentice again?”

For a moment, she could not speak.

This reunion had played itself out so many times in her mind…all those nights spent alone on Coruscant, then on the run with Cad and Asajj…it felt like a dream.Everything about it so surreal, she dreaded the moment she would awake from this world of fire.

“Yes…of course I am.”Her voice cracked.

“I missed you.So much.”Like the sky, Vader opened his arms.

Their embrace was better than Ahsoka ever could have imagined it would be.Then this wasn’t a dream after all.Everything was real.The smoke.The kiss on the top of her head.The mechno hand against her back, cool and comforting, exactly how she remembered it.And for a second or two or three, all was right with the galaxy.

“I’m home…”

“Yes, you are, Snips,” he said, voice as soothing as silk.

Abruptly, he pulled away, killing the moment before Ahsoka could accept it in full.

“Of course, not quite yet.You’re not really my apprentice just by saying so.”He smiled.His teeth were too white.His mouth too cheerful.A holofilm star sort of smile.It gave Ahsoka a chill.

“What?What do you mean?”

“Oh, I think you know what I mean, Ahsoka sweetie.I can’t let you right back in, just like that.”He snapped his fingers loudly.“It wouldn’t be right.We’ve been so far apart, you can’t build back that bridge without breaking a sweat.Can’t earn the name without passing a test.Can’t be pure again without a sacrifice.Those are just the rules of the stars, little one.”

Break a sweat?Pass a test?A sacrifice?What was he getting at?

The Dark Side beckoned her to embrace him again.Or that is, do anything for that embrace once more.Anything so Vader would welcome her back as his apprentice fully, accept her completely.

Anything to get back what they used to have.Just Skyguy and Snips.Once saving the galaxy, now ruling it.

“I…I will do whatever it takes.Just make me your apprentice again.”

“I knew you would!” Vader said happily.“Then you won’t have a problem doing a little bit of cutting, a small task to win the title of Apprentice, a bit of blood on the altar?”

“What do you want me to do?I’m sorry, I don’t understand…”

Not far off, Ahsoka heard the sound of a ship landing down on the planet.Something about it sounded faintly familiar, and her eyes narrowed a bit.But it did not distract her from what Vader said next.Vader had already become her whole world now.

“There’s someone I need you to…to kill for me.He was useful before, helped keep you close.But now I worry he stands between you and me.And I don’t like that his life tests your loyalty to me. _No one_ is allowed to take you from me now.”His lips curled up in a small snarl as he said this.“So, get rid of him, and you can become my apprentice again.”

Once again, she heard his voice, but his lips did not move.

_“I need you to kill Cad Bane.”_


	26. Chapter 26

“I need to…”

_Kill Cad._

Clouds, red as blood, swallowed the last of the dying light, wrapping Ahsoka Tano and the monster who used to be Anakin Skywalker in complete darkness.

“You can do it, can’t you?I don’t like that he’s between you and me.If I can get rid of everyone else between us, can’t you do it for just one person?”He cocked his head at her, his yellow eyes and white teeth glowing.

“What?Skyguy?”

Kill a former enemy, now a friend.Someone she once would have braved an army to stop, now braved an army to save.Earned his trust as much as he had earned her fondness.Her tears had soaked his shoulders night after night.The cheap whiskey he kept on his ship burned the back of her throat weekend after weekend when they stared up at the stars and pretended they weren’t fugitives.His terrible jokes went on for hours until she threatened to steal his hat if he didn’t stop.

Her most unlikely friend when she was in need of a friend the most.

“So you won’t do it for me?”Vader’s smile slowly faded, forming into a snarl.“You’re supposed to be willing to do anything for me.I did _everything_.”

“What do you mean?”Tears clouded her vision.He was but a shadow in her eyes now.

“The Jedi Order is gone.They took you from me, held me back from who I could be…from what _we_ could be.”He took a step back, the wind pulling at his black cloak and long locks of dark hair.“The Republic is gone.Treated you unjustly, pulled us apart, lied to us.Now they’re fallen.Don’t you see, Snips?I did all of it, and I did it for _you_!”His teeth were now fangs, glistening in the reflection of fire, his eyes burning.Like an animal about to pounce on her.“I changed the _galaxy_ to get you back.And you won’t even kill one bounty hunter scum for me?”

She hung her head.

“And listen, hear that ship approaching?I can sense he’s here.”Suddenly, Vader grinned again.“Wasn’t that hard to lead him here, really.My Boba helped.Now _finish it!_ ”

_If I don’t do this, Vader will never take me back.If I do it, I will never be able to live with myself again._

_Cad…_

Vader watched her every movement, waiting for a sign of her answer.None of the light she once saw in Anakin’s eyes remained anymore.Anakin had been burned out.A fallen star.

_If I don’t kill him, won’t Vader do it anyway?Vader hates him so much, there’s no way he’ll be alive much longer, no matter what I do._

_He’ll torture Cad to death.Probably make me watch, too._ She shivered at the thought.Knowing it was simple logic, not her own paranoia.

_But I could do it painlessly…quickly.I could spare him from that._

She grabbed her lightsabers.Against her will, tears ran down her cheeks.

“That’s right.You can be my apprentice again.My sweet Snips.My little tart.”Vader licked his chapped lips.

It’s all she ever wanted.Ever since she left the Order, she wanted her Skyguy back.To be by his side again.The galaxy at their fingertips, every star waiting for them to be the heroes.

“You’re home now.Just open the door.I know you have it in you…”

Ahsoka turned around and began a slow walk across the bridge leading to the landing platform.There, just as Vader had said, a ship had landed.She felt Bane’s presence in the Force again.It did not calm her.

_Spare him._ Vader’s voice whispered in her head.He already read her thoughts.

And for the first time, that didn’t even bother her.

Unbeknownst to her, Ahsoka’s eyes had already begun to change color.And Vader, always with his eyes on his apprentice, watched from a distance.

Bane descended the ramp of the ship, taking a glance at the scenery around him.When he saw Ahsoka, his eyes widened and his shoulders seemed to sag, as if in relief.His walk towards her as he approached the bridge soon became a run, holding onto his hat.She glanced back at Vader, hidden in the shadows, before running towards Bane, wondering how the hell she would pull this off.How she could even feel the pull in her to kill the one person who had remained her friend, and not be horrified by it.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Bane shouted at her.But she knew him well enough to hear the fear in his voice.Fear for her life, not his own.

“I had to, Cad.”

“That sounds like bullshit.”

She clenched her jaw.

“You wouldn’t understand.You don’t know what it’s like to have his voice inside your head.Day and night, alone and not alone.Not letting you eat or sleep.”He could sympathize, try to help.But the moment he acted like he knew how it felt to have Vader in his mind like that…

“What are you talking about?”He frowned.“Shut up and get on the ship.”

A laugh started in the back of her throat.

“You know, really, this is the first time in _years_ I haven’t been in danger.I’m safe here.And you’re telling me to _leave_?”

“Vader’s getting to you.You’re a smart enough kid, you should know better than letting him in.”

Ahsoka stepped closer and stood as tall as she could, glaring Bane down.

“You should have just turned me in to him when he gave you the chance.Everyone would have been happier.I wouldn’t be suffering so much, you wouldn’t have nearly been killed, Vader wouldn’t be alone…but you had to be stubborn.What’s the matter, Cad?Don’t you want me to be happy?”

“What?”

“I _said, don’t you want me to be happy?!_ ” she screamed.

Bane’s eyes seemed to flicker.

“So you’re saying I made a mistake in saving you?”

She nodded.

“Mmm-hm!You never could save me.Only Vader can.I see that now.So thanks for holding me back all that time, but I’m _sick of it_!”

“I’m not leaving without you, ‘Soka.”

“Yes, you are.”Ahsoka ignited her lightsabers.By now, only half her consciousness was aware of what she was doing.The other half felt as if it had been sucked into a black hole, twisted and deformed beyond repair.“Get out of here, now.Please…just run.”

“No!”He stood his ground.

“Please…Cad _, go_.” _If you don’t run, I’ll have no choice but to kill you,_ she silently added.It was true.What other choice was there?No matter what happened, he was going to die anyway.

Bane’s lips curled into stubborn sneer.

“Not without you, little bit.”

“Fine.Be that way.”As hot tears rushed to her eyes she stepped towards him.“I told you to leave.”

At first, he didn’t look surprised.Like this was some prank he had been expecting.But the closer she stepped, the more his initial reaction caved in to confusion.Bewilderment.

“Wait, wait…’Soka?What are you doing?”He slowly raised his hands.

“Voice in my head said so.He’s not going to go away until…”

_Until he dies.That’s right, Snips.Wouldn’t you like this torment to end?_

She swung her lightsaber at his chest, not close enough to strike.Bane stepped back, staring at her in disbelief.

“Ahsoka!” he shouted.“What’s the matter with you?Snap out of it.”

“Wish it were that simple…”She swung again.

Bane grabbed her wrist, holding her lightsaber just above her head.

“Let!Go!”She bared her teeth at him, wanting him to fight back.Wanting him to get angry.She kicked his shins, spat in his face, dug her nails in the back of his hand.Still he wouldn’t back down.

Finally, a weak point…Bane saw Vader standing in the distance, watching.She swung her other lightsaber at him and he let go of her hand, backing away just in time.Stumbling, he kept moving away from her as she advanced, like a predator.Ahsoka bit her lip to hold back a scream of rage.Her lightsabers cut at either side of him, chopping up the railing, sending sparks up at him.Bane backed up again until he was at the end of the bridge.He kicked at her stomach to slow her attacks.Again, he grabbed her arm.This time she was prepared.

Ironically, using a technique he taught her once, she swung over him until he let go.The edge of her lightsaber cut a diagonal line down his back.She heard him cry out, but he didn’t fall.Not deep enough.Not fatal.

Bane turned around, breathing hard.He had not looked this weak in a long time.Ahsoka grinned at the sight.

“You’re not much of a challenge.I’ve got you right where I want you,” she mimicked.

“Maybe I should have killed you back there after all.”

“What, and miss out on all the fun?”

Vision narrowed, Ahsoka watched herself cut down on his left arm’s gauntlet.Watched the metal melt against the blade, burn through his skin.She heard his cry of pain and alarm, but it was too late to stop what she was doing.Her lightsaber sliced up until it had cut right below the shoulder blade.

Vader giggled inside her head.

_Just like me now…just like me.Three more to go!And then off with the head we go._ If Ahsoka didn’t know better, it sounded as if he was singing to her.

Bane looked down and saw where his left arm used to be.He froze in shock.Ahsoka gave him a small push with her boot and he was on his knees in front of her, trembling.Now on the verge of death, she saw Bane in a way she had never seen him before.He looked like a child.

_There is always death._

“I…I…”

“Speak up.”She held her lightsaber against his throat.So much for killing him quickly and painlessly.Oh, well…it was sentimental at best.

“I’m sorry…” Bane whispered.

She hesitated.

“You’re…sorry?”

The roaring lava around them nearly drowned out the sound of another ship approaching.So much so that Ahsoka did not hear it until it was close.

_Snips, little Snips…something is coming.Be careful._

_Is it Ventress?_ she wondered.But even though she saw _Sleight of Hand_ break through the clouds and draw closer, she could not feel anyone’s presence in the Force. _What the hell is going on?_

One lightsaber still against his throat, Ahsoka turned around to get a better look at the ship, then frowned in confusion, watching it fly down, heading for the gap between the bridge and lava below.How could it be flying if she didn’t sense anyone on it?Unless…

Of course.Todo 360 could fly the ship on his own.

Movement rocked the bridge.She spun around to face Bane.He had already turned and pushed his body over the railing, falling down.With a loud _crack_ , she heard him land on _Sleight of Hand_.His legs were bent unnaturally moments after the fall.By then the ship was already flying out of her reach.

“Dammit!”She prepared to jump after him before it was too late.A blast from _Sleight of Hand’s_ turrets struck the bridge, tearing it in two.Cursing, Ahsoka jumped back and stood on the landing platform.“Vader, help me stop them!” she pleaded.

She could see Bane, dragging himself on a broken leg, pry open a hatch on the ship and disappear inside.That little droid had saved his life after all Bane had done to him.It was so unfair.

Vader, too, was shaking with fury.He reached out to stop the ship using the Force, but his grip was already weakening as _Sleight_ pulled away, heading back for the sky.It was too late.

She couldn’t believe it.Her first task as Vader’s apprentice…and she failed.

“Why didn’t you help me sooner?” she cried out across the chasm now separating them.

Vader gripped her whole body in the Force.Suddenly, she couldn’t move.Her eyes widened in fear.Her feet left the ground as he slowly pulled her up, hovering her over the place where the bridge once stood.

“This was your test, not mine.Looks like you have some work to do before you can truly be my Apprentice again.My little tart.You disappointed me.This was supposed to be _easy_.”

She could have sworn he was still smiling.The lava felt hot underneath her even though she was over fifty feet above it.Helpless, she kicked her legs a little.

“I…I promise.I’ll do whatever it takes.I’ll hunt him down and kill him, Master!I’ll kill anyone for you!”

“Will you?”He dropped her several feet, and she screamed.

“Yes!I’ll do anything!Just let me be your apprentice again!”

And then he pulled her to safety, taking his precious time so she knew what it was to be completely at Vader’s mercy.In that moment, just one short temper away from a horrific death, Ahsoka understood what it was to be Vader’s apprentice rather than Anakin’s.And she understood the major difference all too late.When she landed, she hit the ground roughly and knelt in front of him, just as Bane had in front of her minutes ago.

“Good.That’s all I wanted to hear.”He smiled brightly.“Follow me.I have someone to introduce you to.”And he turned away.

Ahsoka followed him into the darkness, and accepted that she, too, had burned out like a star.


	27. Chapter 27

_Three months later_

 

The funeral had been one year ago to the day.

Two of the smallest coffins she had ever seen, and hoped never to see them in that size again.They now rested in Varykino, the same lake retreat where their wedding was held.She made sure it was on a hill overlooking the most beautiful view of the lake below, and a tree overhead provided a little shade during the afternoons.It was the exact sort of spot she would have taken them during her vacations away from the Senate.

One year ago, she held their lifeless bodies in her arms after over thirteen hours in labor.The medical droid could not explain why they were stillborn.But Padmé had felt something pulling at them.Something…or someone…taking her babies from her.

She had no proof of it, but she knew that whoever stole Anakin had stolen the babies as well.Hoping that would be enough to kill her.It wasn’t.But she came close.Thoughts of suicide tasted so sweet in the days leading up to the funeral.

Naboo had mourned the twin children she named Luke and Leia before their bodies had gone cold.But Naboo never knew who the father was.Theed cried, but did not know why.Just when she thought her tears were used up, one year later, they came back.But she only let the tears fall when she was alone at the end of the day.No one was allowed to see her cry.

The Republic was gone.Her husband was gone.Her children were gone.

Some would say that Padmé Amidala had lost everything.At least, so was whispered around the ranks of the Ami Dala Confederacy, especially by new recruits.

But in the end, she had not lost herself.And she had never been one to go down without a fight.This morning, Padmé awoke early.She had the urge to take a few hours out of her day and go visit Varykino again.But there was too much work to do.Her grief would have to wait longer.

Rex…formerly Captain Rex of the Grand Army of the Republic, currently Colonel Rex of the Ami Dala Confederacy…knocked on the door of her chambers.

“General Amidala?”

Padmé’s handmaidens had just finished helping her dress and apply her makeup.Although looking presentable was the last thing Padmé wanted today of all days, she had to play her part.She had to give them someone to look up to, to fight for, and most importantly, to follow.

Just under ten months ago now, she had forsaken her former title of Senator in favor of a new role.Although technically a political leader, her duty was to the military force now, in a direct rebellion against the Galactic Empire.Along with her role in the Senate went Naboo’s allegiance to the former Republic.

“Yes, Colonel?” she asked.By old habit, Padmé put on her japor snippet necklace before her handmaiden answered the door.Rex stood there with a guard on either side.Their armor was more worn, more faded and mismatched.On each helmet, a large red circle was painted on both cheeks, and a vertical red line painted down the bottom center.

“There is a prisoner outside who demands to see you, sir,” Rex said.“He arrived in the city this morning and we took him into custody without resistance.”

“Did you get a name?”

He nodded.

“Cad Bane, sir.”

She frowned.Of all the days she had to deal with criminal scum, it had to be the one-year anniversary of her babies’ deaths.She was _not_ in the mood for this.

“Did he say what he wanted, why he is here?”She followed Rex down the hall, outside the palace into the barracks.Naboo, and its capital city Theed, had not seen this much military presence since the Trade Federation invaded years ago.Today, Ami Dala forces had taken up entire neighborhoods with bases and equipment, forced to depend on Naboo’s natural resources to strengthen the soldiers.The Galactic Empire truly had changed everything.

“Just that he would only speak to you, sir.”

Padmé prepared for the worst, only for the sight of the prisoner to hit her like a stun blast.Guarded by four Ami Dala soldiers, forced to stand in front of her, Bane did not look like the man who had held her hostage in the Galactic Senate building back during the war.For one, he was thinner, weaker, a shell of who he used to be.And for another, he had a mechno arm, crudely constructed out of rusted junk parts, with three sharp metal claws instead of a hand and what looked like a flamethrower welded to the forearm.

“Cad Bane.You had better have a very good reason for demanding to see me,” she said coldly.

He looked up at her.

“I have something I think you’ll want.”He spoke simply, not out of any emotion.

“Well, tell me what it is.”

Expecting a devious smile, all she received was a blank stare.

“Information.”

* * *

Padmé watched the interrogation from behind the glass wall.  Sabé stood beside her, arms crossed as she kept her eyes on the Duros prisoner with great interest.

“He’s being strangely cooperative,” Padmé finally said to break the silence.Cad Bane was sitting hunched over at the table, idly playing with his hands…one of them, anyway…while two Ami Dala interrogators took notes between questioning him.It had been like this for two hours now.

“What does he know?”

Padmé bit her lip, afraid that if she said too much of what she had heard during her own private session with Bane before the interrogation, she would be unable to hold back her tears.

“He says that he was with Ahsoka Tano when she was a fugitive from the Empire.And that he has eyewitness proof that she is now Darth Vader’s apprentice.He also has information of a secret Imperial base on the Mustafar system.”

“And Vader…”

“Yes.It’s Anakin Skywalker.Bane saw him as well.”Saying his name aloud killed her inside.And she thought keeping their marriage a secret _during_ the war was hard enough.A private divorce once she heard what he had done at the Jedi Temple had just barely escaped the tabloids.“Bane brought a techno-service droid with him.Said its memory will confirm all his testimony.Our analyzers are scanning the droid’s databanks as of now.Makes me really doubt that he’s lying.If you can imagine that.”

Another thirty minutes or so of the interrogation went by.

“And he’s coming to us now, why?What’s the reason?” Sabé asked, a bitter taste in her mouth.She had even lesser trust for criminals than the former Queen of Naboo.

“That is what I’m going to find out.”Padmé entered the room and motioned for the interrogators to leave.When they were gone, she sat across from Bane at the table, studying him.Why did he look like this?What had happened to him?She had to know.

“In case you are going to demand a payment for this information—”

“No.”Bane shook his head before she could finish her sentence.

Padmé arched an eyebrow.

“You, not interested in money?What sort of bounty hunter do you consider yourself to be, then?”

“I’m not a bounty hunter anymore.”He looked at her.

“Then what are you?”

That made him smile.For some reason.

“I haven’t been anything for a while now, if I may speak honestly, General.Was a bounty hunter, but that hasn’t been working out for me so well lately.I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“How do you make a living, then?”

“Steal, hitch rides, do what I can.Like I said, I’m not anything.Or anyone.”

Judging by the state of his health and clothing, she guessed that he had been living like this for a while now.In a twisted way, it seemed sad, even heartbreaking, that the Empire had turned the best bounty hunter in the galaxy into a homeless, one-armed, petty thief.

Padmé sat up a little straighter and spoke bluntly to him.

“Since you knew the location of our base, I assume you know who we are.The Ami Dala Confederacy is an army of rebels against the Galactic Empire.We’re in alliance with the Armies of Twelve across the Mid Rim.I lead this army, meaning I’m the top in command here.So if everything you just told me comes back false, I have the power to make you very, _very_ sorry you wasted my time.Are we clear, Mr. Bane?”

He didn’t bat an eye.

“Quite clear, General.”He hesitated, as if expecting the question she was about to ask next.“I know that…you were friends with Ahsoka.When…we were fugitives together, she spoke well of you.Said she missed you and hoped you were well.And I also know you were close to Skywalker.”

Two names now that killed her to hear aloud.Ahsoka.Ani’s Padawan.Betrayed by the Jedi and the Republic.Cast aside.Now in Vader’s clutches.

“Then why did you decide to bring me this information?What’s your interest in helping the rebel cause?” she challenged him.

He leaned back in his chair, staring at the table while he spoke.

“I have something personal against the Empire now.I’d like revenge for what they took from me.”

“What did they take?”

“A career.A future.A friend.”He showed her his mechno arm.“And this.So if there is a place for me in your little army, General, I’m willing to cooperate.”

She looked into his eyes, searching for deception that she did not find.After a long pause, Padmé rose from the table.Her mind was already made up on the matter.Couldn’t deny her gut feeling.

Ami Dala could use people like him.

“Let the guard know if you need a drink of water or a trip to the fresher,” she said, a bit more curtly than she intended to, before she left.

* * *

Purple bruises formed a pattern up Ahsoka’s arm.  With a small smile, she danced her fingers on each of them until they hurt.

Pain was a drug and she had become addicted.Well, pain and a bunch of other things.

She asked Vader for another cigarette.The ones he smoked now were cherry flavored.He let her have one, but she wouldn’t light it herself.Ever since the last time she had been on Mustafar, fire had filled every one of Ahsoka’s nightmares.

“Is something wrong, Master?” she asked meekly, knowing better than to raise her voice at Vader, ever.He had not spoken since they left the Imperial Palace to smoke on the balcony.

He looked out to the horizon of Coruscant.By now, the memories of what once took place here…all her training in the old Jedi Temple, fighting beside Skywalker, rescuing Bane from Vader…they were nearly all gone now.Like stars fading into the black.

“Do you sense that, Snips?The growing threat in the Mid Rim?”

She shut her eyes as she smoked her cigarette, idly playing with a broken toe.

“But Master says the Armies of Twelve will not be a threat.Master knows what he says.”

“The Armies started out that way, anyway.The rebellion is not united, not even in ideals.Everyone chose a different leader they idolized and wanted to see in the Emperor’s place, and followed after them.To them, it’s only a race for which of the Twelve will take over first.Their loyalty is only to their leaders.”Vader paused to smoke his cigarette.His black fingernails were speckled with ashes.“That means we get to watch as the Twelve rebel armies turn on each other.It’ll be a bloodbath, Snips.”

“And the threat?”

“The ensuing chaos.You remember your teachings.Strength emerges from chaos.From fear.”

“Not our own this time.Now I understand…”She hugged her skinned knees.Her leggings were torn in several places, and she began chewing her thumb.“The remaining Jedi may use the chaos to rise up.”

“Jedi are deceptive that way.So we need to be ready for them.”

“Master…”She looked out to the horizon again.Her coat was one size too large, but she only wore it when it was cold out.She hugged it to herself, loving how it scratched against her healing cuts.“Should we be wary of any of the Twelve?”

“Mandalore’s leadership is weak.Kiros is small.Ami Dala, too extremist.Grand Mothma, perhaps, we’ll keep an eye on them.”He smiled.“I wonder…how fast they’ll be snuffed out.Like little cigarettes, Snips.Just…like…”He pressed his cigarette butt against the balcony railing.“ _That._ All just little cigarettes we’ll smoke and put out, smoke and put out.”

“What does the smoke taste like, Master?”She put her hand on his arm and watched her fingers dance.

“Why, like blood, my little tart.All the bloods of all the galaxy in one.And I know how much you love that taste.”He grinned and played with his long dark hair.

“Oh, I do, Master…so many kinds of blood I still have to taste.”She smiled humbly and thought of the Armies of Twelve.How hopeless their cause seemed.As having been Vader’s apprentice for almost a quarter of a year now, she still waited her chance to prove her worth to him in direct combat, by killing an anti-Imperial.Instead, she had been spending her time finishing her training.And how much she had to catch up on.But the time was well worth it.Especially after a long day ended in more cuts and bruises that she loved to count until she could not count anymore.

It was always the first kill that hurt, Vader promised her.But not like the rest.The rest, you learned to enjoy.And always, finding strength out of _their_ chaos.Out of _their_ fear.

She couldn’t wait to find out for herself.


	28. Chapter 28

Mandalore’s army, Buurenaar, arrived on Naboo at the end of the planet’s rotation.Everyone could feel tension begin to stir in both armies.As if all of them were beginning to hold their breath, all at once.Waiting for the moment that unity would collapse.Waiting for when the conflict in end goals—who would be the next leader of the Empire—would culminate into division.Waiting for the Empire to strike their base.

Both Vader and his apprentice felt their tension as well.Even halfway across the galaxy.

_“Two of them have joined together,”_ Vader spoke to her that night. _“One army is weak enough.But two…”_

“Are we in danger, Master?” she whispered, staring up at the ceiling.

_“Of course not.Just means we get to have more fun, Snips.”_

“Two armies against two Sith…”She smiled.“Sounds interesting.”

* * *

In only a week, several fights had already broken out between Buurenaar and Ami Dala troops.  Just as Padmé had feared would happen as soon as the Armies of Twelve started coming closer together.  After her brief belated visit to the twins’ gravesite in Varykino, she returned and kept to date with all the reports of what had happened, with Sabé’s help.  Then again, without her handmaidens, there is no way she would have made it one day past her babies’ deaths.

A couple fights were just two drunk soldiers who bumped into each other and decided they were tired of waiting for a battle with the enemy, tired of being away from home.But the others were not so.Her soldiers knocked out teeth to defend her honor…that is, her right to take the Emperor’s place.No matter how clear she made it that she didn’t want to become the Empire’s Empress.

After yet another fight behind the barracks, the two soldiers at fault were brought forward for possible court-martial.Padmé was not surprised to see Bane, as this was his fourth fight since joining Ami Dala.Next to him stood one of the Mandalorians, with the face of a young clone.Many clones had ran away to Mandalore.To go back to the roots of Jango Fett, their genetic template.

Padmé recognized him.Another surprise.

“…Sergeant Boba Fett?I was not expecting this of you, if I may be honest.What were you doing in a fight with Captain Bane?”

Boba Fett stood up a little straighter and licked blood off his bottom lip.

“Well, first of all, he started it.Saw me leave headquarters and just came after me like a reek at full charge.”Boba felt his broken nose and winced.

A sour look on her face, Padmé looked over at Bane, arms crossed at him.He glared at Boba with one eye, the other swollen half shut.

“Well, Captain?Was this your doing?”

“Not that it is any of General Amidala’s business, but I had a personal matter to settle with Boba,” he grumbled.

“And what sort of matter was that?”

“In case you missed it…”Bane bared his fangs.“Ain’t the General’s business.”

She rubbed the bridge of her nose.And she thought she had dealt with stubborn asses in the Senate.Bane was a whole other category of _stubborn_.

“I’ll be going, then.I have to go over tomorrow’s strategy with my platoon,” Boba said curtly.The two exchanged a death glare before Boba turned and walked off.Bane clenched his mechno fist, now rebuilt much more clean and functional.Resembled more of a weapon than a limb.A tool.

“You son of a—”

“ _Captain_.”Padmé cut him off.“I don’t understand your behavior.I grant you a plea of pardon if you serve in my army without causing trouble.And how many fights have you gotten into now?”

“Don’t keep track of them, General.”He shrugged.

“Then what’s going on here?Why can’t you stay on good behavior for more than a day at a time?Anything you need to let me know about?”

His weight slightly shifted from either foot to the other.He looked uncomfortable.

“I don’t…know how to stop it.Deathsticks used to help.So did the drinking.Ever since ‘Soka…”He looked down.“Ever since _Tano_ took my arm.”

Her gaze softened, if only a little, and she swallowed a lump the size of an orange in her throat.After Bane arrived, Padmé felt her hesitancy to treat him any better than he deserved slipping, ever so gradually.First she refused, despite her peers’ advice, to have him executed for his crimes.Then she refused to send him to prison.Sabé warned her not to give Bane the option to enlist, but he took it.Especially after she sweetened the deal by offering the pardon.

His connection to Anakin and Ahsoka changed everything.Made Padmé feel that he had to be protected.That she had to be sure Bane was not lost.

In a sense, he was her only remaining connection to her ex-husband and his padawan.And although she had no plans to go back to Anakin, no matter what happened, hope existed.As long as they were not completely severed from each other.She hated that she needed Bane safe.

“No.I need to be in on the action.Just let me get at the Empire.Let me fight them,” Bane said, sounding almost desperate.

“Before that, for your actions, I’m going to put you in solitary for a week.When you get out, I expect you to shape up.Take meds, get therapy, alcohol, I don’t care what it takes.Just do your duty.”

“Yeah, sure.Whatever,” Bane grumbled.

“ _What_ did you say to me?” she asked while knowing perfectly well what he said.

“I said, whatever you say, General.”He backed off and complied when the guards arrived to take him to solitary confinement.Rex and Padmé watched him go.

“General, if I may say something…” Rex said, fists clenched on either side of him.

“Of course, Colonel.”

“The men have been talking about him.The bounty hunter.None of them trust him at all.A few were even there when we fought Bane on Devaron.And when news of this gets out, they’ll hate him even more.”

“First off, he’s not a bounty hunter anymore.He’s Captain of Hurricane Company and under my command.”

“And you trust him?”

“No.But I trust that he wants revenge against the Empire, and a second chance when the war is over.Right now, I am the only chance he has at both.”She clenched her jaw.“I understand the distrust, but I know what I’m doing.Can’t let all that vengeance and skill go to waste, now can we?”

“I suppose not, General,” he said quietly, and said no more on the subject.

* * *

Ahsoka hated when her Master was sent away on a mission.  He had no choice, and it had to be done.  He was the most powerful in command of the galaxy, second only to Sidious.  Vader had been sent to clear up an uprising in the Dathomir system, in the most secure Imperial priso.  Only the most troublesome criminals were sent there and locked up for life.  Although Vader expected to be back in only a couple weeks, Ahsoka felt the ache without him.

She had become needy.Without him, everything felt empty and useless.Without purpose.

Only Vader made living worthwhile to her.

And she knew it was wrong.To need him so much.But she had trained herself to stop caring, to avoid the pain of knowing how far she had fallen.It was better that way.

The loneliness soon became too much to bear.Ahsoka got up and commed the Third Inquisitor, who she once knew as Barriss, and wanted to keep it that way.The Mirilan arrived within minutes of being summoned.The scars from electrocution were visible from her fingertips all the way to the tip of her nose.

“Yes, Miss Tano?”

That made Ahsoka laugh.

“Come on, Berry-Jam.You don’t have to be so formal.”

“Oh…of course, Ahsoka.”She hesitated as she entered the room.Ahsoka did not take her eyes off of her the whole time, and gestured for Barriss to sit down.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately.About our past.Everything that happened before.”

Barriss folded her hands in her lap, picking at her fingernails.She couldn’t look Ahsoka in the eye.

“Have you now?” she asked in a low tone.

“Sure have.You know, it’s funny…I do blame the Republic and the Jedi Order for screwing me over like that.It’s their fault my future was stolen from me.That I was taken away from my Master.But it’s more than that…”

“There is?”Barriss almost sounded hopeful.Foolish girl.

Ahsoka smiled, and leaned in close, looking over her former friend head to foot.Studying every single detail about Barriss that she had missed out on over the years.Not just the scars, but the way her nose and jaw had lengthened in shape, the way she parted her hair differently, the shape of her fully developed shoulders, breasts, and calves.

“Of course there is.You see, they were the ones who betrayed me and cast me aside.But they didn’t start the whole thing.They needed something to give them a little push first.”She giggled, fingers rubbing up and down her mortals.“All it took was one little push for them to turn on me so quickly.What if we’re all just that close to losing everyone we think we can trust?What if all it takes for you to turn into a monster is one, itty bitty, tiny push in the right direction?”

Barriss’ eyes widened.Bright blue with small speckles of violet, always bloodshot from exhaustion, opened up with a strange sort of innocence that Ahsoka now understood was a mere mask to hide the deceptive, manipulative bitch just underneath.Her dark lips puckered, smearing her makeup.

She was so beautiful.A mosaic of flowers and jewels.Every star in the sky on a bright night.Always had been.

She was the first girl that made Ahsoka’s heart stop—figuratively.And almost had made it stop in the literal sense as well.

“What are you saying, Ahsoka?” she whispered into the darkness.

The darkness heard her not.Darkness had already won the fight.

“I’m saying that you were their little push.If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have been ripped from Skyguy’s arms, thrown out with the dirty laundry.They may have tried sentencing me, but…it all came back to you. _You._ ”

“I…I know.”Back to picking at her fingernails, head cast down.Trying to look so innocent, so sad.As if this beautiful goddess of the underworld could understand _sadness_.“And if I could take it all back, I could.I thought what I was doing was right.I couldn’t live with myself for years after I…”

Ahsoka held up her hand.

“I don’t want to hear it, Berry-Jam.You pushed it all into happening.Made me spend months barely able to survive on the streets.Made Skyguy miss me so much it drove him horrible…”She slowly stood up and approached her.“But you know what?Now that we’re on the same side again, I know how to make it all better between you and I.I know how to get close to you and fix all of the things you broke.”

Barriss’ eyes clouded up and she fell to her knees in front of Ahsoka.

“I’ll do anything…I want to fix this.I’ll do whatever you ask, Ahsoka.Things _can_ be right again.”She looked up, smiling.“What do I have to do?”

“Oh, not much.”Ahsoka cocked her head to the side.“But if you do it, I guarantee that it will fix everything for you and me.”

“What is it?”

“It’s very simple.All you have to do…is die.”Ahsoka’s smile widened.Darkness closed in, twisting the last of the sane fabrics of her mind.

And before Barriss could utter one syllable, make one movement of protest, her neck was already pulling her up through the Force as she began to choke.Panicking, kicking her legs, Barriss clutched at her throat even though she already knew it was useless.Again, Ahsoka did not take her eyes off of her.Not even when she stopped moving and her lifeless body collapsed on the floor.Vader’s apprentice knelt by her, daring to touch her stunning, beautiful, perfect skin.

“All done.Now everything is as it should be, Barriss.You’re gone, the Jedi are gone, the Republic is gone…and Vader will be back soon.Everything that stood between me and my Master…snuffed out.”She snapped her fingers at the two guards standing at her door.Without hesitating they dragged Barriss’ body out.It was done.

Vader would be so proud of her.

She hoped he would.She needed it.


	29. Chapter 29

_“Are you ready for Operation Daybreak?”_

Cad Bane had mere hours following his release from solitary confinement to return to Hurricane Company.The order from the top: go over the operation with the soldiers under his command.Two hundred in total.Two hundred strangers.He was still getting used to this new role.Living on the streets for months, stealing and killing to get by.It had just begun to feel normal.

So far, all Bane knew about Operation Daybreak were the casualty predictions.If they were accurate, he would have less than fifty in his company left when it ended.His sole excuse for not reading much about it yet.

He arrived at headquarters, Todo 360 following close behind him, to get a quick look at the holomap before the meeting with Hurricane.He rubbed his aching eyes.They were still adjusting to the light after being in the darkness of solitary for seven days.It had felt like a month.Never certain whether he was asleep or awake.But as soon as he was let out, Todo returned to his side eager to be of service.

“Anything else you need, Mr. Bane?Some food from the mess hall, maybe?I can steal some leftovers if you would like,” Todo asked, eager to be of use.He had been that way since Bane lost his arm.As if he viewed his master as more helpless and needy.

Bane wanted to be offended by the behavior, but he did appreciate the help.

“I’m not hungry,” he muttered.

“It’s just, I know they only fed you bread and gruel for a week so I assumed, even though I don’t understand hunger, that you must be craving something fresh.”Todo looked up at him.

Bane shook his head and adjusted his hat.

“No, not really.But I could go for a pack of smokes.Make sure they’re strong.”

Obediently, the droid ran off.Bane wondered how pitiful he must look if Todo had laid back on the sarcasm for so long.

He pulled up the holomap.In front of him appeared an image of the Coruscant system.The Imperial blockades guarding the planet and their backup fleets.His eyes flickered and he tapped his fingers on the table, suddenly hoping Todo would get back sooner with the cigarettes.

_It can’t be.Too risky…_

Quickly, Bane enlarged the map, revealing a detailed outline of the Imperial bases protecting the top levels of Coruscant.Barracks, arsenals, anti-aircraft artillery.Upon further investigation of the holomap, Bane discovered that the strongest military presence circled the Imperial Palace as a form of defense around it.A wall had been built around the area, forming a radius of roughly fifty miles heavily guarded.Of course, not surprising, the Emperor would want to make sure he was the safest person in the galaxy.Even though he needed the least protection.

Knowing he would later regret it, Bane activated the holomap.It showed a stimulation of the battle plan, Operation Daybreak.He saw the rebel fleet break through the Imperial blockades, down to the planet.Circling the Imperial palace before it was destroyed.

_You’ve got to be kidding me.General Amidala, you’ve gone insane._

He shut it off.His worst worries had become real.The armies planned to launch a full scale invasion of Coruscant.

He had been in charge before.Led other criminals on missions, the hostage crisis of the Senate building being the most infamous.But this was different.He was leading soldiers now.He was in war now, fighting for revenge.

And the stakes were high.Vader and Ahsoka would be there to engage the rebels.He couldn’t let himself think about that important little detail.

“Ready for the debriefing, Captain, sir?” a small voice asked from behind him.

Ever since Mustafar, Bane was more prone to being startled easily.He jumped and turned around, clenching his mechno fist to calm himself down.

“Yeah!Just a couple more minutes.”He looked at the soldier who had just nearly scared the shit out of him.“Who the hell are you?” he demanded.

“Sergeant Korla, sir.”

He stared.Her markings.Her lekku…no, _montrals_.This was a Togruta.

“You look awful young to be a sergeant,” he said, unaware of the cruelty in his tone of voice, and the subsequent hurt in her eyes.

“I’m sixteen, sir.And I’m far from the youngest to join the rebellion.My sisters are thirteen and eleven, and they work in the medbay, sir.”Korla stood a little taller and puffed out her chest.

But he didn’t hear her anymore.

Her skin was the same shade of deep orange as Ahsoka’s.Her montral stripes were strikingly similar as well.As for facial markings, he saw a clear difference…pale crescents that shaped up over her eyes, down to her upper lip, and curves up either side of her forehead, and the middle of her nose.

This wasn’t Ahsoka.But the resemblance was enough.More than enough.

_Little bit…_

Her eyes, once sad but sweet, reflecting the flames of Mustafar.Her lightsaber glowed inches from his neck.He felt the blade cut through his muscle and bone.Slice down his back like a knife through hot butter.He heard his own screaming.

“Captain…are you all right?”

Ahsoka.The girl who gave him a second chance to be a better person, then snatched it away.The girl who melted his heart only to stab it.His friend, his biggest mistake, his burden, and his dying light.

He could not stand looking at the young Torgrutan named Korla but he was unable to look away.His lungs ached and he realized he had stopped breathing.Clutching his hat, backing away to reach for something to hold onto.

“Sir…?”

Bane took a deep breath. _Not on Mustafar.On Naboo.You’re fine.You’re fine…_

“I’ll…be with the company in a minute.”He tore his gaze away from her.“And Sergeant?Is there anywhere in this fucking city where I can find some decent cigarettes?”

“Y-Yes, sir.I can send a scout to find some for you right away.”

“You do that.And get out.”Once again, unaware of how cruel he sounded.And after he had calmed down and looked over the map one more time, he pulled his jacket on and straightened his hat.He lit a cigarette Todo offered to him and finished smoking it before lighting another, and heading for the meeting room.Headquarters were quiet this time of day.But it would not be like that for long.

Bane stepped to the front of the room.Not a sound from the whole company.Slowly the captain made his way onto the platform, a large holomap in front of him.Two hundred faces looked to him.The faces of the people now depending on him for leadership.He dared not ask himself if he was ready for this much responsibility.All he could ask was how many cigarettes it would take him to get through the day.

And the single question echoed across Hurricane Company, First Battalion.The entire Ami Dala army and their allies, Buurenaar. _Are you ready for Operation Daybreak?_

* * *

Ahsoka sensed the rebels’ arrival long before anyone could see them.

Long before the night sky of Coruscant lit up with explosions from the anti-aircraft missiles.Long before the searchlights stretched into the sky, and the sirens alerting civilians rang throughout the levels.Long before the roar of the ships cut off the peaceful life of Coruscant’s people, and screams filled the city.

While the planet was still caught in serenity, the city abuzz with the glow of nightlife, Ahsoka’s connection to the Force pulled her back to a sense of dark foreboding.Everyone was convinced that tonight would be like every other night, dancing and partying and celebrating the young Empire…but Vader’s apprentice felt it.

Part of helping to lead the Empire meant that she had to make public appearances now and then alongside Vader and the Emperor.They hosted a large banquet in the main hall of the Imperial Palace that night.The three had to dress formally for the occasion, as all of the Empire’s elites would be there, as well as the most important representatives from the Core Worlds.Political agendas aside, Vader reminded Ahsoka they had to show the public their faces now and then so they seemed attractive and trustworthy.All part of making the Empire look better.

Ahsoka could not take her eyes off Vader’s black suit and robe, his long hair neatly combed back, making him look like a prince brought up in royalty from birth.A lie, she knew.The truth could not be farther from it.

But it made for a pretty lie.

Her dress…black, silky, and extra tight…felt itchy and uncomfortable.But she couldn’t pull at it or she would look too ‘unprofessional.’

So for hours, as the Force pulled at her threads to warn of what was to come, Ahsoka managed to wander around the hall and be as good of a host as she could be.Which amounted to little, she realized.She had forgotten how to address guests properly, and followed her Master around like a lost puppy.Watching everyone around her laugh and talk and eat and drink, like everything was fine and nothing bad was going to happen very, very soon.

Eventually, Ahsoka resorted to just smiling and letting the men kiss her hand.She could play the ‘spoken when only spoken to’ type, she supposed.All the while, the aching horror lingered.Something coming.

Too stressed to eat, she finally got the chance to slip away for some fresh air out on the balcony.Ahsoka took a deep breath and, noticing she was alone at last, scratched at the dress to satisfy herself.

Made her miss the days she could just walk around in an oversized tank top all the time.

The approaching threat.The horror mere hours away.Dread poisoned her body until she felt as if her blood was turned to black oil, her skin paper waiting to be burned out.Every soldier and civilian who would not be alive within hours pulling at her nerves, their screams pounding against her skull.The weight of those about to die crushing her small form.

It was much like Order 66 all over again.

And she thought back to when she had grown up in this building that was once the Jedi Temple.When she lived on Coruscant’s streets alone, in a cheap apartment, struggling just to get by.She remembered the small treats she had given herself to celebrate the small victories, like a hot cappuccino for making rent.These days, she never treated herself anymore.She did not deserve it.But she had her Master back, unlike those days filled with loneliness.So much had changed.

What would this war leave in the aftermath?What would the rebellion lead to?How many would be killed before daybreak, and how many more before the next nightfall?The numbers felt so high in the Force’s warning that she could barely count them.

How many would Vader force her to kill with her own hands?

Barriss had only been the first, she realized.The nightmare had just begun.

_There is always death, Snips._

She shut her eyes and let the tears roll down her cheeks as she looked out to the city.Then, holding her breath, she made her way back inside to find Vader and tell him what was going to happen, even though she knew he must feel it even more strongly than her.Music played by the orchestra swelled behind her, and the guests coupled up for the dance.They all seemed so happy.How she wished that she could fly away from all of the suffering, as much as she knew she deserved it.

Somewhere along the way, her wings…her only chance to fly away…had been burned away from her.Leaving her trapped in this never ending, living hell.Burning her alive.


	30. Chapter 30

Vader still wore his black suit as he stood beside his apprentice.Wind pulled at his cloak and hair.Fists clenched at his sides, he stood tall and terrifying, his new mechno glove glistening under the arclight on either side of the Processional Way.Lips the color of black ice, pursed in thought.Half a dozen stormtroopers, Vader’s mark painted blatantly on their helmets, guarded him with rifles drawn.Yellow, empty eyes tiled up as his mechno fingers idly wandered to his belt.

The sky of Coruscant was on fire.

The first wave of rebel gunships had penetrated the Imperial blockade, at the expense of their own lives, in a spectacle everyone on the ground watched in horror.The second wave now poured through the atmosphere like a plague.Anti-vehicle artillery cannons poured blasts into the sky, destroying any unfortunate ship that got hit into a brilliant, bloody display.The rest landed on the ground, cutting through city streets as their turrets rained down on stormtroopers and other Imperial defenses.

Everything was on fire.

For miles in any direction of the Imperial Palace, Vader and Ahsoka heard the sirens screaming over each other.Saw the searchlights tilt back and forth.Felt the ground tremble with every bomb dropped on the planet.In the Force, they could hear every civilian’s scream in the final seconds before they were killed.First there had been only dozens.In less than an hour, they had already topped ten thousand.

But Vader did not seem phased by the Force’s heavy reek of death.This had become normal to him.Death no longer repulsed him…it welcomed him, like an old friend who had stayed by his side all along.For in the end, there is always and only death, and the only embrace once the Dark Side is home.Death becomes the only mercy in a cruel galaxy, and darkness the only outcome once every star burns out and every wing is severed.

Vader turned to her as he drew his lightsaber with great, precious care.

“It’s time to put your training to the test, Snips,” he said calmly.“Think you’re up for it?”

“I’m always up for pleasing you, Master,” Ahsoka purred.“There is just one thing I don’t understand.How did the armies already manage to come this far?I thought the Empire was strong…”

“If the Armies of Twelve had taken longer to form, it would buy us more time to fortify our armies and defenses.And it seems that Senator Amidala has been a strong voice against the Empire.”He seethed slightly at mentioning her name, then let out a small laugh as if he had just thought of a bittersweet inside joke.“She’s…very persuasive.Sure knows how to make anyone fall to their knees in front of her and take orders.”

“So it’s Padmé that’s done all this.”

“With help.Everyone wants to take the Emperor’s place.It’s all just a play for power, Snips.You remember when I taught you about that during the last war.”

“I remember you taught me many things.”

“Huh.”Vader turned towards her.“Then show me how much you remember.”

“Master?”She stood up and felt the first pangs of fear in her bones.It had been _years_ since she had been in a battle.Would she be rusty?Would she make mistakes?Would she disappoint Vader?

“Take your infantry division and lead them for a counterattack.”Vader pulled out his com and activated a holomap showing the city as well as dozens of red marks indicating the enemy’s location.“These are all the points we’ve detected gunships landing on the surface.The cannons can only do so much.Rebels will be spreading into the city and using sneak attacks against us.We need to cut them off from each other so they can’t regroup.Isolated, we can stop them faster.”He shut off the holomap.“Oh, and one more thing…Master says no prisoners.”

“I…understand, Master.”

In minutes she had donned her armor and descended the steps of the Imperial Palace with her lightsabers, stormtroopers marching behind her, as she led them into the chaos of the city.

Her eyes ached, looking out to the fires lighting up the indigo sky and spreading across the horizon of Coruscant.With every step, the weight of so much death grew heavier on her, until she felt her own body was about to crush her.

She had come so far.Trained so hard.Let herself be bruised, burned, and cut for Vader.Let the Dark Side into her head to twist every thought against any last shred of hope, and forget who she used to be.

If she failed now, everything she endured would be for nothing.

All she had suffered…suffered for Master…would be lost.She might as well have never become his apprentice again in the first place.

_I could kill Barriss.That wasn’t so hard because she ruined everything.She was guilty.She…helped take me from Master.So that means she deserved what I did to her._

_But these rebels…how will I know if they deserve it?What if they don't deserve to die?_

_Can I kill them anyway?_

_Can I murder innocent people?_

* * *

Bane took another dose of pills.  He held on tight to the cable, the heels of his boots brushing the edge of the gunship.  Another ship not far from them was hit by blasts from the artillery, and Bane had to duck to protect himself from some of the flying debris.

“Captain, are you all right?” Sergeant Korla asked.

He nodded and adjusted his armor piece on his shoulder for what must have been the twentieth time since takeoff.Armor always did have an uncomfortable feel to it.

“Why, you nervous?”He noticed the young Togrutan was trembling.So were many others standing beside him in the gunship.Young, wild, and scared soldiers.

“Yes, sir.”

“What are you afraid of, Sergeant Korla?” he hollered over the chaos of battle.

“Afraid of dying, sir!”

With a half smile he turned away, thinking to himself, _I can’t even remember what that’s like anymore._

He calculated that their chances of survival before hitting the atmosphere of Coruscant were less than half.Of hitting the ground, thirty percent.Of lasting more than a day in the invasion, probably ten percent.

Silently, in spite of his orders and his duty to Ami Dala, Bane prayed he wouldn’t make it.It would be easier that way.No care for who won the war if you never live to see the end of it.

Besides, should he survive anyway, which he knew he wouldn’t, all the Duros had to look forward to afterwards was a life in shambles, since not even the greatest war against the Empire could take back what had been stolen from him.His reputation would still be in pieces.So what was the point?He could always be careless on the battlefield…let a sniper or accidental friendly fire finish him off quickly.End all of this hell for good.

Bane readjusted his rifle and stole a glance at his men, all waiting for the signal to land.He saw the city glowing with flames and explosions below.The first wave of rebels were taking it the hardest, dying over and over.

He could not help but smile.What were they dying for?For another politician to tell them what to do?For another government to be rebuilt on ideals until corruption tore it from the bottom up?Did every rebel throw themselves at the enemy for pure sentiment?

At least he knew what he would die for.He was dying for revenge.

* * *

Padmé watched the live feed of Coruscant with tears in her eyes.  Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the edge of the table.  Loose strands fell over her eyes.

As General of her army, she thought she would have had the power to stop the madness.That maybe, for once, she could be on the side of a war that did not resort to becoming the enemy in order to destroy them.No more blood on her hands.No more innocence traded for power.No repeating the mistakes of the last war.

She had been wrong.

Buurenaar was determined to make a statement against the Empire in the form of widespread murder.To Mandalore, the citizens of Coruscant were just as guilty as the Emperor himself.Bombs were constructed to be dropped on the planet, with the intent on killing millions, perhaps billions of people who never wanted a war or an Empire.And to Mandalore, the massacre would hopefully be enough to intimidate the Empire into unconditional surrender.

And there was hell to pay.

Reasoning with them became pointless.Since Buurenaar’s fleets were already five times stronger than Ami Dala’s, it left Padmé with little voice left.Operation Daybreak, from the beginning, was intended for victory at the heaviest cost.

The General of Ami Dala turned to Sabé, who was fighting not to let anyone see her cry.The room was dead silent as the two women watched.

“Did you ever think it would come to this?” Sabé whispered, to which her companion shook her head and turned away from the sight.

“I always knew it would.It’s how this world works.Any light is burned out before it can guide the way.”She shut her eyes, remembering when she had seen her last hope of the Republic snuffed out, and its death was a spectacle cheered on by millions of lost, blinded souls bound to the nightfall.Remembering when she watched the light fade from her husband’s eyes as he approached her.He would have Force choked her, possibly killed her, if she hadn’t sliced at him with her dagger, buying her enough time to escape him.And then she remembered when she felt the light leave herself as she held her two stillborn infants, so perfect and peaceful, never to know the color of the sky or the sensation of grass between their tiny toes.

“We knew this would happen.No matter what choice we made, we knew many people would die.”Sabé did not take her eyes off the screen.“And under the Empire, more would die too.”

“So we have to be like the Empire to stop them.That’s the reality of war,” the former Queen of Naboo said with bitterness.“It’s our reality until this is all over.”

“If it ever _is_ over.”Sabé turned away, unable to bear the sight of Coruscant on fire anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI I'll always stand by the theory that the reason Padmé had to be killed off in ROTS was because if she had lived, there was no way the Empire would have stood as long as it did and all official SW canon would have been thrown off...but anyway. In MY version of the story Padmé lives and the Empire is scared shitless of her.


	31. Chapter 31

Hurricane Company’s medic would have diagnosed it as ‘shell shock.’But at this point, did it really matter what Bane was diagnosed with?He didn’t need the textbook answers, just enough drugs to get through the day.Probably couldn’t count his psychological afflictions on both hands, anyway.

The first week of battle was a blur in his memory.They lost so many good soldiers.He sent them closer to the Palace as reinforcements arrived.The Imperials had begun to surround them.

Coruscant’s first few levels were slowly being burned down.According to Padmé, the flames and smoke could be seen from space.Ships overflowing with civilians evacuated them to the lower levels, where of course there was no room for them and not enough food and shelter to go around.Never in all his life had he seen such chaos.

Sergeant Korla knelt beside him in the tipped over speeder they had been using as cover.Ashes and debris strewn about around them, as Bane’s soldiers tried to get some much needed rest before they moved forward again.

As Sergeant Korla crouched down her knees almost touched her chin.She looked at her captain with worry.He had not moved or said a word for a solid hour.

“Canteen, sir?”She handed it to him.

Bane took it and the lukewarm water relieved his parched throat.

“We should probably get moving soon, sir.Don’t want to give the Imperials the advantage.”

But of course, he couldn’t hear her.He was too numb.Too tired from fighting.

At least he was going to die soon anyway.

“Captain!”A Mandalorian who had joined them the other day ran up to him.“Imperial battalion approaching from the west.”

Bane rose and put on his hat, which was now covered in ashes and dust.

“Set up defenses and prepare for a fight,” he said without thinking.

* * *

As morning dawn returned to Coruscant, Ahsoka Tano arrived at the remains of a recent battle.  Her lungs already began to ache.  She had to resist the urge to gag from the smell of corpses and burning flesh.

Almost four city blocks in any direction had been flattened by bombs.The neighborhood had once been a booming business industry, where many of Coruscant’s finest wines and cuisine foods were sold, as well as some luxurious furniture.Now it was all strewn out like garbage.Smoke still rose from heaps of rubble.Now and then, a pitiful scream for help stirred somewhere in the wreckage.

Of course, she realized, the rebels had targeted this neighborhood on purpose.They wanted the rich to pay for standing by while the rest of the galaxy suffered.Such a pointless statement, when the poor became rich as soon as the rich were dead.She could clearly identify the areas where some of the rebels had stolen from the shops.Of course, their only interest would be personal gain.

Scattered on the ground, Imperials, rebels, and civilians lay dead.Were any of them someone she would have known from before?Were any of them old friends?

Numbly, she spoke up to the troops.

“Search for survivors and secure the area.”Her boots scraped against concrete, broken glass, and ashes.Her voice was not her own as she continued to give orders, surveying the area to decide where they should head next to track down the rebels.Nausea tugged at her.

She had barely sent her troops out to the perimeter when a missile struck the ground nearby, killing a dozen soldiers.By second nature, Ahsoka drew her lightsabers, dreading the oncoming fight.Killing Barriss had been so easy, but _this_ …

“Sir!We have to run for cover!” a major shouted to her before he was hit by a laser bolt.

Startled, she looked up and saw the source of attack.A group of rebels hiding in the wreckage not far enough nailed the stormtroopers where they lay exposed to fire.But all Ahsoka could see were clones, brothers, her men.Hear their screams and cries.She ordered the troops to take cover, but too many of them had been killed by then.

Trembling, she hid behind the broken wall of a building.Master would be so disappointed to know she had let her men die, and ran for cover like a coward.Master would not let her fail again.She dreaded her punishment.

If she survived, that is.

Ahsoka Tano had not been a stranger to war.At fourteen years old, she understood that war is far from the guts and glory all the Padawans spoke up.It was orphans andburned villages and broken minds.Too many night terrors long after she left the Order spent remembering all those old horrors.

Vader had thrown her right back into the war they fought so hard to end.

She once dreamed of what their lives would be like after the Clone Wars.How they would end injustice around the galaxy forever, together, always side by side.

The irony tasted of blood in her mouth.

They were side by side, all right.But by causing injustice, not stopping it.

Ahsoka wished she could tell herself that as long as they were on the same side, it didn’t matter _which_ side it was.She was a psychotic mentally ill bitch, but she wasn’t an idiot.

_“Someday we’re going to make this galaxy a better place.”Anakin smiled as he leaned his head out the back window the speeder, letting the wind fly through his long curls that Obi-Wan kept demanding he trim again.“You and me, Snips.We’ll end slavery on every system. Everyone will be free again.We’ll bring peace and justice no matter what it takes.”_

_“Master and Padawan, huh?”_

_“It’ll always be us.Can’t have one without the other, can we?” Anakin laughed.So lost in his own bliss.Lost in his quest to forget everything terrible in the galaxy.“Now let’s go get some grub to eat.I’m starving!”_

_This was one of Ahsoka’s happiest memories._

This was all wrong, and she felt it through the Force.A cold ache, like being dunked in ice water, over and over.The reminder of the _darkness_ they spread with every step, even every breath.That Coruscant would not be burning right now if they had been killed years or months ago.

That all the ones she once held so dear could be gone before the sun went down again.

Anakin had been killed before she watched the Jedi Temple burn.Vader merely became the walking corpse that stood in his place.But that had always seemed to be enough for her.

Rex, Fives, Cody.Couldn’t count on seeing them again.All the Jedi she knew had been killed.Padmé led an army now, and if the Empire won, she would be put to death publicly as an example.She killed Barriss with her bare hands.Ventress abandoned them.As for Bane, she could not even feel him anymore.If she never saw him again, it would be for the best.He let her become his friend and she ruined his life for it.

So that’s what it is to be on the Dark Side.Everyone truly does go away.Sooner or later, the more you descend into darkness, the ones who reminded you of your capacity to love fade out.

In the Dark Side, you are alone.

Tears ran down her cheeks.Her lightsabers cut at the wall, and she made herself stand, the sunlight streaming through the smoke and heavy clouds.She faced the line of rebels, biting her lip until it bled.And she remembered when she once thought it would be better to be dead than to be on the side of evil.

_Shoot me, then…just kill me,_ she wanted to scream. _Make it all stop._ The words held still on the tip of her tongue.She could not speak a word, as much as she wanted to.

At least Master would think she died fighting, not hiding.At least she could escape his punishment.At least she could stop herself, the bitch she was, from doing anything worse than she already had.

They stood as well, not believing what they saw.Vader’s apprentice falling so easily in their hands.Ahsoka frowned, wondering why they had not shot her already.Then she remembered.With a sigh of exasperation, she deactivated her lightsabers.

Several minutes passed before half a dozen rebels approached her.One of them held a pair of stun cuffs.

_No…no.You’re not supposed to capture me, you idiots.You’re supposed to kill me!Kill me!_

Of course.She looked like she was surrendering.Giving up the fight.

She sighed again and activated her lightsaber, and began a steady run towards them.She began to see their faces.Three of the six wore helmets, rigged up from clone trooper helmets, painted with the two red spots on each cheek and a vertical red line down the lower middle.One was a young Togrutan girl, no more than a teenager.Another wore a Mandalorian helmet.And the sixth wore a wide-brimmed hat.

_I suppose if this is what it takes to kill me…I’ll just have to kill a handful of you._

Something in the Force stirred.Almost an old memory.No…a presence.

The hat.She’d recognize that ugly old thing anywhere.

_In the Dark Side, I am alone.None of this will matter soon.I’ll kill them, end their suffering.They’ll kill me, end my suffering._

The tips of her lightsabers grazed the ground, sending sparks up around her.The six rebels stood their ground, weapons drawn.Ahsoka found herself letting out a cry as she prepared to do the very thing she had promised herself she would never let herself stoop to.And here she was, at the bottom of the heap, her last stand now her greatest crime.

_We’re all going to die soon anyway, thanks to this terrible war that won’t do any good.Better to end it all.Better to stop the pain._

_We all burn out.We all lose our wings and fall, down, down, down…to the Dark Side._

* * *

Vader turned his gaze up to his master.  Against his own wishes, the former Chosen One trembled with fear.  He clenched his jaw until his teeth felt like broken glass.

_“Lord Vader, the rebel armies have grouped with their reinforcements.You must surround them and eliminate them before the rest of the Armies of Twelve arrive,”_ Sidious said.His hologram flickered slightly.Of course, as soon as the attack had begun, the Emperor was taken to a safe bunker away from the Imperial Palace.Even though his protection was for political obligations only, Vader could still feel his influence on the fight from this distance.Sidious’ manipulation slithering through the ranks of rebels, stirring confusion and conflict.Making the psychological aftermath of battle too heavy for the rebels to bear.Breaking them apart one by one.

“Yes, Master.”

_“The fight should have been over in less than seven days.And yet the planet is still under attack and many Imperial lives have been lost.”_

Vader felt his Master’s disappoint weigh heavy on his shoulders.It ached.He could not stand that feeling.

“I…I know I have failed you so far, Master.But I will not let the rebels win.I swear it.”

_“If you fail me, you will fail both of us.Both Master and Apprentice.”_

“Can’t have one without the other…” Vader whispered to himself.

Without his Master, he was as good as gone.Without him, Ahsoka was as good as gone.

It was a diabolical, sadistic pattern of the Sith, but there was no escaping it.

The hologram flickered out.Vader rose and returned to headquarters to don his robe and set out with the 501st.He had long since stopped caring, much less thinking, about the innocent lives he was about to end.None of that mattered to him anymore.He had lost the concept of innocence itself.

And yet…

All was not quite right.The Dark Side, normally a comfort sweeping over and blocking out any blinding light, had been tainted.Small tears ripped through it, stinging him.The discomfort flooded from his mind to his stomach until Vader had to stop just to breathe normal again.Seemed like Mustafar all over again, that scalding lava surrounding him, setting fire to the Jedi he had once loved.

_What’s happening to me?_ he wondered. _It’s so painful…_

He was _hurting_.

But no marks were on him.He had not been cut, or shot, or maimed.Around him, the headquarters stood cold and still, eerily silent, as if unaware of the war right outside the door.

If he hurt so much, then where could it be coming from?

He frowned and put his mechno hand over his chest to feel his heartbeat.Yes, it was still there.Sidious would be even more disgraced with him if he knew Vader felt pain long before the battle.Didn’t he have to pull himself together already?Didn’t he have to find Ahsoka and join her?

Master and Apprentice, side by side.Can’t have one without the other.Their Force connection reminded him of it every minute, even while he slept.

And then Vader knew what was happening.

A cry began in his lungs.His mechno fingers tightened around his lightsaber, and he yanked it off his belt and ignited it.

“Snips!”

She was in pain.Suffering.Screaming.

Was she dead?Would the rebels kill her first?

The light guided him into battle, aching, blinding.The Force connection grew stronger, and the pain worsened, only making him cry out her name again.And fear plagued Vader yet again.Fear of losing what he had fought so hard to gain.Fear of losing his beloved apprentice.

_I won’t let you leave me.Not a second time.Not again!_

_You won’t leave me again!_


	32. Chapter 32

“What your orders, sir?” Sergeant Korla asked.The Togrutan who reeked of the Dark Side would not stop running towards them.

She screamed, like an animal.Begging them to kill her.Stumbling over the debris, but still coming at them.Tears ran down her cheeks as she began foaming at the mouth.

“Shoot me already, you idiots!” Ahsoka cried.

“Orders, sir?” Korla repeated.

“Hold your fire.Do _not_ shoot!”

_This is my fight,_ Bane thought. _Only I’m going to do the shooting around here._

He watched, eyes cold and lips pursed, as Ahsoka jumped over the corpses and advanced even faster towards them.Since he last saw her, her eyes had sunken deeper into her sockets, her cheeks hollowed out, her form visibly thinner.In spite of Mustafar, he ached for her and longed for what used to be.

_They manipulated you.Twisted you and turned you on us.I’m so sorry for that, ‘Soka._

He aimed his rifle at her carefully, clenching his jaw.His finger curled over the trigger.

_But_ you _were the one who chose to take my arm, you little bitch._

When he shot her, the stun blast hit her directly in the chest.She went down and fell face up on top of a a broken table, knocked out but very much alive.Since she was strong in the Force, Bane knew she would be awake in a matter of minutes.

He felt the troops staring at him, confused, as he lowered his rifle.

“Not going to kill her, sir?” one asked.“She’s Vader’s apprentice.Too dangerous to be left alive.We’d be better off just killing her instead of taking her prisoner.”

Bane lit a cigarette and adjusted his hat, glancing at where Ahsoka lay.

“Didn’t you hear what she said?She wants us to kill her.We never give the enemy what they want.”He set down his rifle and took out a large knife.“We give them what they gave us.”

“Sir…?”

He grabbed some rope and walked towards the unconscious Togrutan girl.The troops murmured between each other, wondering what the hell the captain was up to.But Bane knew how to ignore it.He grabbed her by her legs, dragged her over behind the rebel lines, and bound her wrists together, then her ankles.His knots were so precise that it would be a miracle if she fought out of them.

“Sir, what are you doing?” Sergeant Korla asked, in an almost demanding tone.“If you plan to set an example of her or something I think it’s way too much of a risk.Vader won’t be happy about this.”

A cold glare crossed Bane’s face, and he clenched his mechno fist, feeling the old memories shaking inside him.Every happy moment stolen from him when Ahsoka chose betrayal.So close to a possibly better life spent doing more than surviving and caring only for himself.But she threw it away like garbage.

He turned around, facing his troops, and spat his half finished cigarette on the ground.

“Vader’s apprentice took my arm.I was willing to die for her and she was willing to kill me, and for what?So she could go back to the Sith I was trying to protect her from in the first place!”His troops backed off, taken aback by the sudden outburst.Bane had never been known to shout at them.“She did it to me.Not like I can do all of that to her, but…I can at least do some.”

“But sir—”

“And don’t talk to me about any rules of war.This is _war_.We could all die at any moment, so I’m going to do what I damn well want to!” he shouted.

“What are you going to do, sir?” Sergeant Korla spoke up.

Bane cleaned the knife and knelt beside her bound body, studying her face for a moment.

“You’ll see…”

* * *

When Ahsoka awoke, the world spun around her, then folded her in half.

A pair of glowing, frozen red eyes looked down at her.Save for the slight rise and fall of his chest she could have easily mistaken him for a statue.He twirled his blaster against his mechno fingers.Smoke clotted the sky, but he still formed a strong shadow because of his ugly hat.All she saw was her first failure as Vader’s apprentice.

“Cad…?”Her head ached.No, it pounded.Her legs stung around her ankles but she could not move them.She could not move her arms either, as she was lying on top of them.Suddenly she was helpless at the feet of Bane.This certainly brought back memories.

“Hello there, Tano.”He nodded and politely tipped his hat at her.

His voice sounded peculiar.As if he could be inches from her, or fifty feet away, and she could not tell which it was.Or if it could be both.And the lower half of her montrals were completely numb.

He looked so different, and yet, at the same time, he had not changed one bit.Was he really standing in front of her, or did he just seem much closer?

“So are you going to kill me or what?You might not want to wait too long.”She forced a small smile.Her lips were so cracked that they bled when she spoke.“The Empire will finish off all of you.”

“Oh, no.I’m not going to kill you.”

“Wh-what?Why not?You mean you…” _Oh, no.No…not this._

Gnawing on her tongue, Ahsoka forced herself to look down at her chest.A hoarse cry rose from the back of her throat, and she tugged at the bonds on her wrists and ankles.But it was useless.

_Oh, no._

Instead of long left and right montrals, the beautiful blue stripes, she only saw raw, ugly knobs ending just above her shoulders.Veins dangling from the ends as dried blood itched around her arms and chest.

They were gone.

“Oh, no, Cad! _What did you to me?!_ ”

No wonder she couldn’t move.Everything was thrown off.Her sense of direction, her coordination, her hearing…tainted and abused.

No longer a true Togrutan.Not even a person.

As if to confirm what she saw, Bane showed her a large knife, then cleaned it against his thigh, smearing it with her blood before he put it back in its sheath.

“What did I do?” he echoed coldly, not moving a muscle as she writhed and sobbed.“I got my revenge.It’s as simple as that.You maimed me and ruined me, so I did the same to you.Your third one was cut off too, just so you know.”

“Kill me, kill me!Cad, you’ve got to kill me!” she begged him.She couldn’t live like this.Not without half her montrals.Not this impaired, barely able to find her way around, much less fight.Not as just a few pieces remaining of her heritage and identity.

This was worse than dying.

“And relieve you of this?”His glare twisted, like a sour taste had filled his mouth.“You’d think I’m that merciful, wouldn’t, you?You’d like to think I'm a changed man.That you redeemed me with your ex-Jedi ways, or some other bullshit.”

She bit back another scream and looked up at him, only to have his cold eyes stare back, like those of a stranger.

“Well, I’m sorry, little lady.But I’m still a very, very bad man.”

And Bane turned away and ordered his troops to move out and he left her there to die.

* * *

She cried until she lost her voice, and then she lay there helpless, listening to the gunfire and cannons less than a mile away.  It did not take long for her to wonder how quickly and painlessly she would die by being crushed to death by a rebel tank.  Or if the rising smoke would eventually suffocate her.

“Anakin…”Her vision blurred and she squeezed her eyes shut.Her whole body was numb.“Anakin…help me…please…”

Through the Force, the cry was enough.More than enough for Vader, even while hearing the name he discarded, feel her presence growing closer.Enough for him to find out where she was and run there as fast as he could.

When he saw her, he gasped in horror.He could smell Bane’s handiwork all over what had been done to his little Snips.

“Oh no…Snips!”Vader raced to her side and knelt down.Immediately he worked on untying her wrists and ankles.“Bane did this to you, didn’t he?” he cried.

“Anakin…”She looked up at him.Why did Anakin look different?Why were his eyes yellow and his hair so long and dark?

“I’ll kill him!Oh gods, my poor sweet tart.He took your montrals…”

Ahsoka felt herself lifted up in his arms.The motion made her so dizzy that she vomited, but he still held her anyway.

“You’re going to live, Snips.I’m going to get you to the safe bunker in the Palace.You’ll be safe there.”

“But I’m supposed to fight with you…”

“Shhhh.”He commed a ship to pick them up.“You can’t fight.You need to recover.And don’t worry, I’m going to hunt down Bane and make him pay for this.How would you like him to pay?Shall I take his eyes first, or let him hang for a while?”

“It doesn’t matter…they’re all going to die soon anyway.”She shut her eyes, as if that would help all the sharp, agonizing movements.Whimpering from the pain, she couldn’t help but cling to her Master as he lowered her to the ship and sat with her.He held her head in his lap and was extra careful not to aggravate the sensitive edges of her montrals where they had been sawed off by Bane’s knife.“We’re all going to die…Snuffed out like cigarettes.Burned out like stars.Shot down like rats.”

“Don’t talk this way.I can fix this.I can fix you…”Vader stared at his apprentice, looking so frail and helpless.She had almost left him.Bane’s fault.

“Yeah…”Ahsoka smiled weakly.“You once told me you could fix anything.”

“Well, that’s because it’s true.We fixed the galaxy.Now I get to fix my apprentice.”

The pain pills only did so much.Ahsoka still had little sense of direction or sound.Voices and figures fading in and out, like some sort of nightmare.When they finally arrived back at the Palace, Vader pushed his troops aside before they could touch her.

“Mine!Don’t even look at her or I’ll kill you!” he snarled.He took off his robe and wrapped her in it, then carried her in his arms.“It will be all right.Just you and me, Snips.Just wait until you get all better and then all those rebels will see what we can do…”Only with her, his tone softened.As Vader carried her to the safe bunker, Ahsoka shivered against him and buried her face in his chest.

“I’m sorry I failed you,” she whispered.

“No.I’m sorry I let this happen.”

_That’s unlike him to say that…_ she thought.

And for that moment, as small as that moment was, Ahsoka could have sworn she heard not Vader’s voice, but Anakin’s.Anakin, his way of telling jokes and cheering her up even when they were certain they were both going to die.Beating himself up when anything bad happened to her.Always there for her.

And as they ascended the steps of the former Jedi Temple, she felt that Anakin had come back just long enough to fix what had been broken when she left the Order.Instead of letting her walk away, he carried her home where they would always be together.Anakin had returned to her.

For just a moment, everything was as it should be.


	33. Chapter 33

“Master…”Vader stepped inside as soon as the Palace guards unlocked the door to the safe bunker.From here, not even the strongest weapons the rebels threw at them could so much as make the walls vibrate.Sidious had kept the bunker filled with only necessary supplies they would need in case they would be there a long while.Off to the side, he also had a meditation room where he could help influence the battle through the Dark Side.Always in the background of the fight, but always present.

Sidious stood up and glared at them.Ahsoka felt a twinge of fear.

“What happened?” he demanded.

“Snips.She is badly hurt.”Vader looked down at the floor, ashamed that he had made Master angry with him.

Ahsoka had overheard Vader’s punishments when he disobeyed, after dark when they thought she was asleep in her room.If Vader was lucky, he was only subjected to Force lightning for a minute or so.For the more severe punishments, mind probing always did the trick.She had learned to drown out Vader’s cries for mercy weeks ago.But now she doubted her new skill.

The guards rushed over and helped Ahsoka to the lower level of the bunker with a secondary hospital facility.She was in a daze as they helped her onto a bed and began bandaging her wounds.

“I don’t know how it happened, but I found her bound and barely breathing.I saved her just in time, Master.”Vader forced a small smile of pride.At being able to save someone he cared about rather than let them leave him again, he could not help but gloat.

Sidious, meanwhile, shook his head in disappointment.After glancing down the steps where Ahsoka had been taken, he turned to his apprentice and with a look of disdain, asked,

“Why did you ever think I would want you to bring her back here?”

Vader froze at first.Then his yellow eyes brightened with disbelief.

He couldn’t have heard what he _thought_ he just heard.

“What…do you mean, Master?”

“Did you not see what just happened?”Sidious folded his hands together and looked his apprentice in the eye.He spoke plainly and clearly, as if to a child.“She failed to follow a direct order and allowed the rebels to mutilate her.If she had done what she was told, the rebels would have been driven back.It seems she isn’t as powerful as you had lead me on to believe.”

“But she _was_ following orders.I just didn’t get there in time to—”

“Vader…”With a small smile, Sidious put his hand on the shoulder of his apprentice.“I don’t think you understand.Ahsoka is not…useful anymore.”

“Useful?” he echoed.He clenched his fists.

“She’s severely handicapped now.There’s no way she’ll fully recover, if at all,” his Master said simply.“So letting her stay here is a waste of time and resources for all of us.”

Vader looked down at the floor, his hair hanging over his eyes.

“That’s not true…say it’s not true.Don’t say they took her from me.”

_Ahsoka…why did he say you are useless?Why is he doing this to you?_ he whispered to her through the Force.

_I’m sorry…_ Her voice sounded faint from her dizziness and the effects of the pain pills. _I don’t know what to do._

_Ahsoka?He’s not going to take you from me, is he?He wouldn’t…_

“Vader.Surely you can follow orders more effectively than she can.You have always been the strongest in the Force.”

He looked up at his Master.It had been so long since he dared let himself feel the hot fuel of aggression towards Sidious surge through him.Ever since he succumbed to the Dark Sid he had pushed it down, cast it aside, pretended he didn’t hate this.

But those words…hearing the things he dared say about _his_ Snips…it broke a small place in him he had forgotten.

“What do you want from me?”

A long, agonizing silence.Then,

“Kill her.”

Ahsoka sat up and gasped.She felt Vader’s ice cold fear.His rage.His panic.

“Kill her, now.”

Vader seethed at him.He curled his fingernails deep into his palm until they drew blood.

“What was that, Master…?” he asked, the slightest growl on the tip of his tongue.

“I said, kill her.She’s useless.It’s pointless to keep her alive now.With injuries like those, there is no chance she’ll ever fight again.”His expression remained neutral, but Vader could feel him smiling, knowing he had won yet again.“Now be a good boy and do what I told you.You can do that much for me, can’t you?” he purred.

Vader’s anger grew, but not knowing what to do with it, he trembled.Unable to speak as his throat ached too severely, his head began to scream.

_This is why you told me to find my Padawan, isn’t it?This is why you wanted me to bring Ahsoka back._ Vader’s panic grew, his thoughts loud and clear in Ahsoka’s mind as his heart beat faster.His tongue bled as he bit down, the hot sting filled his eyes.He remembered way back when Sidious had told him all those things about the Jedi Order pushing Ahsoka away and that every Jedi deserved to die.That he would be happy again if he kept an eye on Ahsoka while she was gone, and eventually brought her back to him.That Ahsoka would come back to him and stay by his side forever, just like the Jedi had failed to do.Now he understood why it had all come to pass. _You never wanted me to train her to become my apprentice again.She was never going to become a Sith like us.You just wanted me to kill her, like I killed my former Jedi Master._

_You wanted Ahsoka to die all along…_

Ahsoka trembled as she, too, realized the truth.

This had been meant to happen ever since Vader began looking for her, destroying anyone and anything who got between him and his Snips.It had all been a trap so she could end up just as Obi-Wan and all the other Jedi had.Just like everyone else Vader had slain for his Master, so she was next in line.And she always had been.Waiting her turn to fall under Vader’s blade with the rest.

In the end, it was only supposed to be Vader and Sidious.No one else belonged.Just the two of them.

She had always been meant to die.

Ahsoka closed her eyes and lay back down, already imagining Vader’s lightsaber stabbing her through the chest.She had failed him.So what else did she deserve but that?Would he make it hurt?Or would Anakin come back just long enough to make the kill painless?

As long as her last moments were spent with Skyguy, it probably didn’t matter how they were spent, anyway.This far gone, death did not seem all that terrible after all.

_No._

She heard that voice.There he was again.Anakin.

_No…you won’t die,_ Anakin cried silently.

_Anakin…you can kill me.It’s okay,_ she said to him through the Force. _I was never supposed to be here anyway.I’m useless to you now.I’m just a burden.So just kill me._

_No.I can’t let you die, Ahsoka,_ he said quietly, and with dignity.

He looked up at Sidious and realized he was looking into a mirror.At long last, he saw the monster clear as day.

The monster had taken away everything from him.His wife, his children, his Master, his way of life, his future…and now the monster wanted to take his Padawan as well.

And Anakin, crying out against the monster named Vader, said, _No more._

Fearing the worst, Ahsoka got up and kicked aside the medical droid before it could touch her wounds.The floor felt as if it was floating away and about to smack her head at the same time.She fell to her hands and knees and tried crawling back up the steps towards Anakin.

Several times she felt herself accidentally cut and bruised by equipment that she had misjudged for being far away.But she kept going.Trembling and crying and struggling.

_I can’t let you die.No one is going to take you from me, Snips.Not this time!_ he cried out.

Before she reached the top of the steps, Ahsoka heard Anakin draw his lightsaber and hold it up.His face glowed as he stared down at the blade.

“Do it.Do it _now_ ,” Sidious hissed.“Get rid of her.She failed both of us.”

Anakin looked up at him, eyes still yellow.But Ahsoka could have sworn she saw the slightest flash of blue in them.

“As you wish, my Master…” he said coldly.

Just before he plunged the lightsaber forward.

The blade pierced Sidious’ stomach and up through his chest until the tip burned through his back.Impaling the Sith Lord on the very weapon that had been used to slaughter Jedi younglings.

Sidious gasped and didn’t move.Ahsoka recognized the horror of betrayal all too well in his eyes.He raised one hand to try and choke Anakin through the Force, but it suddenly dropped, his strength leaving him too quickly.

The two monsters glared each other down, waiting to see who would speak first.

“You…you…” Sidious gnashed his teeth in one last fury.

“I won’t let anyone take her from me again,” Anakin growled, baring his teeth, as he drove the lightsaber in even deeper.He looked up at the Master who had manipulated him, tortured him, seduced him, dragged him away from everyone he cared about and turned him into a monster just like he was.And Anakin smiled.It was the last time he would ever have to call anyone his Master.

Sidious was dead before the lightsaber retracted and he fell to the floor.

* * *

Ahsoka tried to get up and go to him.  Anakin would not stop staring at the body.  The only sound in the room was the peaceful hum of his lightsaber.  For such a victory, things had grown much too quiet.  Deadly quiet.

“Skyguy?I can’t believe…you did it.It’s over.”She smiled up at him, forcing herself to be happy through the pain.

The Dark Side’s grip began to loosen on the two of them.With Sidious gone, she felt Anakin more clearly than ever.It was like coming home.

She forced herself to sit up so she could look him in the eye.He could not move.The shock of what he had done settled in fast, paralyzing him.Even then, Anakin feared Sidious would jump back from the grave just to punish him for what he had done.Standing up to one’s master was unheard of.

Ahsoka struggled to speak, but finally managed to tug on Anakin’s cloak to get his attention, if only slightly.

“Let’s get out of here.There’s still time before the rebels surround the Palace.”She forced another small smile, breathing heavily.Even speaking proved too much exertion on her.“We can run away from everything.It’ll be just the two of us.We could go anywhere we wanted and no one could stop us.”

Wasn’t that what all of this was for?Wasn’t it what they cast aside all their loved ones aside for and would destroy planets for?Was there anything Ahsoka would not kill in this galaxy if it meant another moment with Skyguy, and was there anything he would not suffer for her?

But when he turned to her, Anakin had already begun fading out again.His presence in the Force, like a vapor, slowly slipped away.

In fear, Ahsoka tried reaching out to him, but he seemed to slip away even faster.She had him back for just a few seconds, and the Dark Side took him away all over again.

The moment had come and gone already.

Anakin’s eyes slowly turned yellow again.When he looked at Ahsoka, it was as if he were staring right through her.She felt invisible to him.His voice sounded hollowed out, on repeat, like a machine.

“Master and Apprentice…Master and Apprentice…Master and Apprentice…Master and Apprentice…”He held his head.“Can’t have one without the other.Can’t have one without the other…”

“Sk-Skyguy…?”Her face fell as she watched him.“What’s wrong?”

He studied his lightsaber, as if he did not even notice her there in the room.Then he looked down at Sidious’ body and realized the horror of what it was like to be his own person.That freedom could be far worse than captivity.

“Can’t live without a Master.Can’t die without an Apprentice…”

“That’s not true.You don’t need him.He’s gone.You don’t have to…”Her eyes widened.

Anakin turned the lightsaber to point towards his heart, his finger hovering over the ignition button.Tears streamed down his cheeks and his lower lip trembled.

“I need my Master…” he whispered in defeat.

“No!Don’t do it!”Ahsoka screamed as she tried to get up.She tried to fight the pain, yanked on his cloak, using the last of her strength to reach up for his hand.

But she was too late.

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

_There is no death, there is the Force._

Master and Apprentice lying side by side, bound as one even in death.His lightsaber fell to the floor having claimed its final victim.Ahsoka could not even bear to look at him when he lay lifeless.

_There is always death, Snips,_ he had once told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably the saddest chapter i had to write....and the story isn't even over yet!


	34. Chapter 34

Eighty-seven days later, the rebels poured through the Imperial Palace.

Ahsoka spent that time in the safe bunker’s hospital facility, beginning her recovery from her wounds.After losing Anakin the way she did, she was relieved to finally have some good news that she would live after all.

Her recovery would be much better than Sidious had let Anakin on to believe.Her hearing and echolocation skills would never be the same again, but she would be able to function relatively normal in a matter of a few months.If she made it that long under rebel captivity, that is.

Of course, the news soon became bittersweet to her.Knowing that Anakin had been tricked into believing that she would never be able to fight again.If it weren’t for Sidious’ final and cruelest lie, Anakin might have lived.

As for her montrals, they were fitted with makeshift replacements that replicated what she had lost.The medical droids were able to make artificial montrals that, save for the well trained professional eye, looked very real.But whenever she looked at her reflection, she knew the truth.Nothing could really replace what she had lost, and she wondered if she could ever call herself a true Togrutan again.

It was the least of what she deserved.

When the rebels arrived, Ahsoka had no reason to fight back.No means of offing herself.She simply sat up in her bed, raised her hands, and let them take her away.The floor felt like ice against her bare feet as she, with her last ounce of pride, adjusted her hospital gown to hide her scars.

As she was led out of the Palace, rebels poured through and shot down the last guards who had fought until the last minute.Even though she made no resistance, they still handcuffed her.The bright light from outside nearly blinded her, burned her eyes.Holocameras flashed in her face.She gagged on the thick black smoke hovering around the Palace, which as she saw now, must have endured many hours of constant bombing before the surrender.

After weeks of living in a hole underground with so little stimulation, Ahsoka got sick from the overwhelming senses and attention.Little she could do as she was led away.

It seemed like hours later before they finally took her to a small Republic prison.Judging by the Imperial officers she saw being led in along with her, Ahsoka realized the rebels were using it as a temporary location to hold prisoners of war.She was led in and locked in a small but cozy cell, and given a small meal of bread and expired fruit.The artificial montrals felt stiff and unwanted and disregarded.Her eyes still ached from the light.

She hugged her knees, refusing to let herself have the small pleasure of sleeping on the cot.Her kind belonged on the cold floor, where the light could not reach her.Thoughts only rested on the war outside.

It was over.The rebels had won.The Emperor was dead.

Would anyone believe her if she told them Vader had done it?

_What do I do now?_ she asked herself over and over, as night fell over Coruscant, and the still raging fires illuminated the last of the Armies of Twelve pouring in from the skies.She was offered a blanket by the nightly watch, but refused.After everything she had done, she did not deserve warmth.All she had coming to her was whatever sort of trial and execution the rebels could conjure up.Surely Imperial blood would be pouring through the streets in due time.

_What do I do now…?_

Early that morning, she felt none other than Cad Bane’s presence in the Force not far off.She got up and walked up to the bars of her cell door and peered through.Maybe the Force just confused her, since he had to be dead.

Yet, sure enough, there Bane was.Most of his armor gone, his hat charred at the edges, and two large scars splitting his nose and lower lip.But the ugly hat wearing asshole, seemingly because the Force just saw Ahsoka’s life as a black comedy at this point, had brought him back into her life yet again.

“Cad?”She stared at him.She wanted to hate him for what he did to her.But she had no more energy nor strength to hate anymore.Three partially disabled montrals for one lost arm didn’t seem like a fair trade, though.He had gone too far.“Cad, what are you doing here?”

Bane looked up.Two rebels escorted him down the hall.Bane’s hands had been cuffed behind his back.

“You turn on them at the last minute?” she dared ask him.“Too bad you didn’t think of that before.”

The tired Duros looked in her direction but did not seem to realize she was there.He stared blankly as he shuffled down the hall, leaving a trail of bloody bootprints behind.

“Shell shock,” one of the rebels said.“Freaked out and attacked one of his own soldiers.Nearly beat the poor kid to death.”

“Cad, hey!It’s me.You ruined my life, _sleemo_!”She banged on the bars.Wanting a reaction out of him.For him to lash out at her too and attack her, just so she could have an excuse to try and hate him all over again.Something, anything to make her feel again.

He did not even seem to hear her.He rolled his neck around, brushing his cheeks against his gaunt shoulders.Flakes of dried blood creased the side of his head where he must have been brutally struck, probably to save the rebel he attacked.

They locked Bane in a cell a few doors down, but still within hearing range.As soon as the rebels left Ahsoka called out to him again, as loud as she could, not caring if it got her in trouble.This time, he finally replied.

“‘Soka…?You here too?”

“Yeah, asshole, I’m here.Remember?You hurt me?Left me for dead?”

Bane began hitting his cuffs against the bars repeatedly.A sharp _clang_ that echoed up and down the long hallway and through his cell.He did it once every two seconds.It went on like that for a full minute, then five minutes, then even longer.Ahsoka gnashed her teeth but it kept going on and on.

“What’s one of those damn songs you always used to play?” Bane asked abruptly in the middle of his cacophonous habit.

“Huh?What the hell are you talking about…?”

“Your apartment, here on Coruscant.Always playing the top forty.That garbage you call music.What’s that one song you always sang at the top of your lungs just to annoy me with?”

_Dammit._ She had not let herself open up that box of memories in a while.

“I don’t know.There were several…”She sank to the floor.“I really enjoyed annoying you back then.Maybe I still do.”

“Well, when you remember it let me know, because the tune is fucking stuck in my head.”

Ahsoka held her head, listening in agony as Bane paced around his cell in perfect, repetitive motion, humming to himself, still banging his cuffs against the bars.A sigh in the back of her throat ached deeply.It was getting harder to hate him, in spite of everything.She knew she could never have hated Vader, either.

They were both so broken.So tossed around and beat down.All because a Dark Lord of the Sith decided he needed the Chosen One to help him take over the galaxy.

Were they beyond any hope of repair?

* * *

It was only a matter of time before the trials began.

Ahsoka was not surprised when she saw all the other prisoners of war led out before her.She had the biggest crimes of all, so she would be saved for last.

Eventually, she saw Bane escorted out of his cell, and in spite of herself, she prayed that the rebels would be just.That is, give him exactly what he deserved.

Then the waiting.All the damn waiting for her turn.

She began to lose all track of time.Seconds turned to days, weeks turned to hours.Her only reality became the four walls, a bed, and the hollowness inside her, eating her alive.

The galaxy meant nothing to her.She couldn’t care less when they offered her a couple holobooks to pass the time, or even out of some sort of forced pity, tried chatting with her.It didn’t matter.

_Anakin is gone._

As soon as she could say the words aloud, it hit her.Worse than when she saw the Jedi Temple burning.

“Anakin is gone…”

Ahsoka rubbed her artificial montrals.She eventually got sick from the cheap bread and shitty coffee she had for breakfast, crying at her reflection in the small mirror as she heaved into the toilet.Everyone she had ever loved had been taken away from her.First Barriss, then the Jedi, then saving Anakin for the last one to go, and now with Bane as the extra thrown in for more abuse.

Somehow, she would have to go on without her Skyguy.Without any of her old friends.Without anyone at all.

She was just so tired of fighting alone.

Only a few hours after Bane left, a rebel guard approached her.Sometimes they came by to ask how she was, make light conversation, see if she wanted any small comforts before her trial.But this time he didn’t say anything like that.

“Tano?You have a visitor.”

She looked up and stared in disbelief.

“Cad?What are you…doing back here?”

Bane wore civilian clothing, save for his hat.He leaned in close so she could see it was him.He had lost a lot of weight since she last saw him.It seemed to be a miracle that he didn’t drop dead at any moment.As he looked down at her, his eyes glazed over like he was in a trance, possessed by his own madness.

“They’re holding a truth commission,”Bane said, speaking so simply that he sounded like a little kid reciting words from memory.“I just got back from testifying there.”

“Oh, well in that case I’m sure to be executed,” she said bitterly, hugging her knees.“How did it go?”

“Well, I was dishonorably discharged from the army.And I have to report to the psychiatric medbay for long term stay.So, long story short, it could have been better.”He shrugged.

“Have fun in there,” she muttered.

“I might end it before I get there.I don’t know.Been thinking about it.There doesn’t seem to be much point in wasting their resources on me, you know…”He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck.

She cringed a little at hearing him discuss the topic of suicide so casually.She once spilled her own feelings on it out to him one night in his apartment when she drank too much by accident.It ended up that Ahsoka vomited vodka and takeout all over his kitchen floor, crying about Zygerria all the while.Bane finally got her to sleep on his couch with a bucket and a glass of water beside her head.When she awoke, a pink blanket was tucked over her to keep her warm, and Todo brought her a hot cup of caf.The memory stung.

“Just go away,” Ahsoka whispered.“Please just go.”

He was about to turn away, but stopped just as his back was turned to her.

“Off the record…is it true what you told them?”

“I told them a lot of things when they questioned me…”

“They read them off at the commission.Said that Darth Vader betrayed and killed the Emperor.Is that true?”

She nodded.

Bane looked down at the floor, not quite believing what she said, but saying nothing of it.

“Never thought Skywalker boy still had it in him,” he said quietly.“Then again…he was always full of surprises.”

Before she could ask him what he meant, Bane began to shuffle away, and suddenly acted if Ahsoka wasn’t there or that they had not been talking at all.

Dismissing him for good, Ahsoka turned away and whispered a silent goodbye to a former friend.

* * *

Padmé thought of the babies and now the ex-husband she had lost to the Emperor, as she listened to testimony after testimony of how many others had suffered because of him.  Most were non-Human…that seemed to be a common denominator.  The strict laws against them had already separated many families, killed the old and the sick.  But plenty of others had faced persecution for defying even the most trivial Imperial laws, or defying orders.  The reasons were countless.  The stories even more so.

By the third week into the commission, Padmé and Sabé had to request a short break for the sake of their own recuperation.You could only hear so many stories about parents watching their children starve to death and siblings forced to kill each other before you just could not take it anymore.She vowed to return to the babies’ graves on Naboo as soon as she could.

The Empire had reigned for exactly one standard year and thirteen days.In that time, over two billion individual citizens under the Empire had been oppressed severely.Millions had been killed.

Padmé was the only one at the truth commission who believed that Ahsoka was one of those two billion.

Maybe it was because she had known the real Ahsoka Tano.The Ahsoka who was only fourteen and swore to protect everyone around her even at the cost of her own life.The Ahsoka who could smile and laugh one moment but bared her fangs at the enemy without fear the next.The Ahsoka who taught Anakin how to love and nurture in a way he had never known before.

Maybe it was because she was reminded of Anakin when she looked at his Padawan.

But she could not change the past.She could never get him or the old Ahsoka back.All she could do was move ahead, even if it meant one step and one minute at a time.

As she stepped into the room, Ahsoka looked like a mere shadow of herself.She kept her eyes cast down, her chains dragging against the ground, shoulders hunched down and defeated.The life had been drained out of her, leaving only a shell covered in bones and pale skin.The artificial montrals had not been taken care of well during her captivity, and as a result, the edges had become infected.Dark purple veins trailed up her montrals and into her neck. 

Padmé stared at her and her heart, which she had long forgotten was there, broke all over again.She had to look away, silently listening to the gasps and mutters and grumbles filling the room.

_I can’t let them kill her._

Enough bloodshed.Enough lost ones who had been close to Anakin.

The former Queen of Naboo could not watch one more death happen because of her, and she decided to herself, _No more._

* * *

Five days later, her verdict was announced.  Guilty of treason, assisting the enemy, and for the murder of Barriss Offee.

“One year in maximum security prison, followed by five years of rehabilitation in a psychiatric center.”

Ahsoka frowned and looked up.

Whatever happened to being executed?To getting what she deserved?

“While Tano is guilty for treason to the Republic, and other crimes, she was also subjected to intensive abuse and brainwashing under the Emperor as well as Darth Vader.A plead for insanity means she cannot be put to death.At the end of five years, she will undergo intensive psychiatric evaluation and possibly released.”

_No…no…I want to die._ Ahsoka wanted to scream but she found no voice left in her anymore.Her throat was hollow. _I want to die!_

She watched Padmé breathe a small sigh, as if of relief.It made no sense.Everybody wanted Ahsoka to die.No one would want to see her face again, and it would be right that way.

_I want to die._

Could she beg for them to execute her anyway?What about Bane?Wouldn’t his testimony alone, which included attempted murder, be enough to convict her and send her away forever?At the least, solitary confinement forever.She deserved far more.

The guards gently took her by the arms and she tensed, not liking the physical contact.Her eyes closed.And the last of herself gave up.

This was her life now.No love and no reason to keep going.Just chains and white walls, and the false hope that someday she would get better.

_What do I do now?_

 


	35. Chapter 35

For many nights, the fallen Apprentice dreamed.

In her dreams, the Jedi Temple stood beautiful and strong against the skyline.Instead of the Imperial Palace that had been burned to the ground, the Temple was brand new.It offered care to those who needed it and did not turn anyone away.They had rebuilt a special place where younglings were allowed to visit their birth parents.

Padawans were given the opportunity, before being knighted, whether or not they wanted to stay with the Order.A few would leave and that was their choice.But those who stayed wanted to, and were willing to live and die for it.

She would have been permitted to take a personal pilgrimage back to her home world, come to know where she came from.And then she would have returned to become a Jedi Knight.Anakin would be there to take her on her first journey.

The Jedi Masters she grew up admiring with her fullest heart could be found in the Meditation Gardens.In the Gardens, she could lose herself in the ponds, thick brush, waterfalls, beaches, and lush trees.You could forget the rest of the galaxy existed, let the green and the silence enchant you.The Force would whisper through the flowers and the butterflies.The closest she could ever describe ‘home’ would be here.

Anakin would be there.So would the others.Barriss told her what she had considered doing and she felt so sick with guilt over it.But they moved on until Barriss could reconcile herself with the new Order.Plo watched her grow up and never neglected to remind her how proud he was of her.

They showed her what it was to love someone, and to find hope.

Every now and then, one of her friends outside of the Order, whether they were a Duros or Dathomirian or drag king, would sneak in through her window.They would run off together to have a cigarette and a drink or two, then stare up at the stars and talk about the soap opera episodes that made them cry and the medications they threw in the trash.Maybe they would play silly games.

Stars would continue to burn, die, and be reborn.The planets would keep turning.Day would turn to night, and night into day.Lilies and roses would blossom in the Gardens, bringing color back time and time again.Everything would be beautiful.

But every time she woke up, this place would pass away, and reality returned.Her reality had turned colorless.Just gray and white.Blinding lights and metal food trays.Cold chairs and dried lips.Bars on windows and stale bread.

No hugs allowed.No messages from the outside.Just the same routine, without any color.

But every night she could always dream again.

* * *

_~ Six years later ~_

 

Freedom tasted strange.Anticlimactic.

Ahsoka had thought and planned about her first day out on her own, but nothing prepared her for the real thing.And when it happened, it seemed surreal.Like one of those dreams she had always run back to as an escape.

Alderaan’s fresh air, and a cloudless blue sky, greeted her as she was escorted outside the psychiatric center with a nurse.Then she walked to the train station on her own.A cold wind bit at her nose and she realized she had not been this cold in a long time, even though this was one of the warmer regions on Alderaan.

Six years of being behind concrete walls.Six years of not knowing what was going on in the rest of the galaxy.She had missed so much.

This small town, the backdrop of her recovery all this time, was surrounded by mountains and struck her as something that would be beautiful if she had chose to come here.Citizens should be friendly enough but she could never count on it, not anymore.But at least they did not seem as frightening anymore.

Freedom.What an odd concept.

She wasn’t behind bars anymore, but was she really free?Even with all the recovery progress she had made, many things would still hold her back for the rest of her life.Could Ahsoka pretend that living like this was freedom?

But it was too early to think like that.Ahsoka had a list of things she wanted to do on this day.

The first on her list she decided to do was buy a cup of hot caf from the first shop she found.Since they were not hard to come by, she was able to find one less than a mile’s walking distance away.Inside, she ordered a cappuccino and added too much cream and sugar than she needed.They never allowed this much in prison or the psychiatric center.

Then, next on her list, she bought a holomagazine to catch up on galactic events.She sat in a corner of the caf shop where she would not be disturbed by other customers and curled up in a chair with her cappuccino.Her large sweater hid her hands and the fact that she needed to redo her nail polish.In the back of her mind she made a mental note to read up on current fashion trends so she wouldn’t feel so old anymore.

The headline took her by much less surprise than she expected it to: _“Padmé Amidala Funds New ‘United Galactic University’, Voted Unanimously Back Into New Republic Senate.”_

Into education and still a politician?That was Padmé, all right.So six years after the Empire had been overthrown and she was still going strong.

Anakin would have loved to see that.He would be so proud of her.

Ahsoka glanced up only to see one of the patrons staring at her mechno montrals.She had kept them in healthy condition but the models they gave her in prison were stiff and awkward.Made her handicap easier to identify.

The inmates and patients had stared too.She got used to it.They just didn’t know.

After caf, she headed to the temporary apartment she would have a few months to live in before she was on her own.She had no idea where she wanted to go after this, what she wanted to do with her life.The Jedi Order would still take a long time to be rebuilt, as the survivors of Order 66 who had scattered across the galaxy struggled to make their way back together.And she could never be one of them again, anyway.

So what did that leave for her?

Without her dreams—the Jedi Temple, the Meditation Gardens—everything seemed bleak.A world where the light was always one more step away.  

* * *

 

After several weeks, Ahsoka decided it was time to find him.

Enough time had been spent mulling it over in her own head, unsure of whether she really wanted to do this or not.If she did that long enough, of course the chance would slip by.

She used some of her money to rent a holocomputer and searched his name.Her muscles began to tense up and she clenched her fists.Why was she doing this?Why did she want to look for the man who she had ended things so horribly with?No way they could be friends again.Maybe her therapist had been wrong when he suggested this.Too late now, she was in for it.

When she saw the first result, her heart stopped.

_“Former Bounty Hunter, War Veteran Cad Bane Dies of Apparent Spice Overdose, Body Not Found.”_

It was from over four years ago.Nothing about Bane since then.

The galaxy had moved on quickly without him.

Ahsoka felt herself sink back into the chair and hug her knees, and she began to silently grieve.This might be her fault.If she had told someone that he mentioned committing suicide, maybe they could have prevented it.If she had reached out to him…No, she couldn’t go there.Beating herself up wouldn’t bring him back.

_Wait_.

She re-read the short article and something stirred in her.Perhaps it was just from what she knew of Bane.Or the Force directing her to her new path.After all, these days the Force seemed to work in the most mysterious, unexpected ways.But the more she read it, the more the feeling in her that something else was going on rang loud and clear.

_I wonder_ , Ahsoka thought, _if Bane faked his death and went into hiding._

A life full of crime and years in prison, then pulled into a war.Had he been disregarded by the public because of his history, or honored as a war hero?Had he been elevated to celebrity status?Or thrown away for his behavior?

Either way, he would not want to be in the spotlight for fighting in the rebellion.Neither would he want his past used against him.Maybe the new Republic, that would have condemned him to die years before, had coerced him into more duties so he could avoid getting on the wrong side of the law again.They could keep his opportunities of a new life restrained, surveilling him constantly, always under watch.Holding him on a tight leash in case he broke one single rule.

The Cad Bane she knew would never settle for that kind of life.With everyone watching him all the time, he would break down under the pressure.He would only want to live by his own rules, not someone else’s.

And how else could he escape that sort of life by convincing everyone he was dead?

Only one way to find out.

Ahsoka stood up and grabbed her jacket, then her comm.She stood no chance of finding Bane on her own.If the new Republic could not find him for four years, she really doubted she could at all.But help was not so far off.

It took hours, but her own searching, thanks to techniques Bane taught her a long time ago, led her to the exact contact number she needed.A sullen, hungover voice answered.

_“What is it…?If this is that damn Iktochi calling back again then piss off.”_

“A-Asajj?”Nervously, Ahsoka cleared her throat.The Dathomirian woman’s voice had only aged a little, but she sounded less on the brink of attack.More solemn, laid back.Although _peaceful_ was far too strong a word to describe it.“It’s Ahsoka Tano.”

_“What…?”_ She heard sounds that indicated Asajj was getting out of bed and pulling on something to wear. _“I thought they locked you up, sweetie.”_

“Well, I’m out now.I have to go back to my therapist twice a month, but I’m out.”

_“Congratulations.I’m not throwing a welcome back party for you.”_

Ahsoka sighed and remembered how Asajj had bailed on them when it got too hard.That grudge stayed for a while.But looking back, it was a wonder Asajj had not left her sooner, or so that was how Ahsoka saw it.Besides, it was Asajj’s nature to stick to her own course, wherever it led her.Ahsoka understood that now.

Her heart always ached a little for what could have been between them.But the Force had not willed it to be.

“That’s not what I want.I want to hire you for a job.”

_“Huh, funny.I always took you to be more of the sentimental type,”_ Asajj laughed warmly.The first time Ahsoka ever heard her laugh like that. _“Don’t you want to get a bite to eat and catch up first?”_

“Sure, we can do that.”She couldn’t help but blush a little.Just the thought of being around Asajj again…

Ahsoka paced around as she held her comm, thumbing the tip of her montral.

“But the job.”

_“Yes?”_

“I need you to find someone for me.It won’t be easy, but—”

_“Consider it done.”_ She could practically hear Asajj smiling already.

* * *

It took nearly two months for Asajj to finally return with an answer.  By then, Ahsoka was growing impatient.  Each day that passed, she grew more restless and needed results fast.  She passed her time getting to know her neighbors and so far was not getting much luck in new friendships.

“I finally found a lead on where Bane ran off to.”Asajj pulled out a datapad and dropped it on the table, then pulled up a holomap.“Far southern Outer Rim, just south of the Kathol Sector.This small tropical planet here.”She pointed to her map.“All that’s there are just a few ancient cities and scattered locals.The planet’s healthy economy is all thanks to the tourists who want to see its beaches and mountains.Supposed to be quite a pretty picture.”

“That’s where he is?”She looked more closely at the map.No way the new Republic would ever go that far out into space.It made sense.

“I know.Sort of the last place I’d expect someone like him to go.The most crime you can find there is a stolen protocol droid.But if the new alias he is using is accurate in my research, then I’m not mistaken.Go there and head to the Deruno Hills.Look for a man named Cadomir Sotulet, and you’ll find him.”

She looked up and smiled through her tears at the older, weathered bounty hunter.

“Thank you, Asajj.You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“But what are you going to do once you get there?You two didn’t really end on good terms.Do you think you even have a chance at fixing it?”

The Togrutan simply began packing what few belongings she had into her knapsack.

“I have to try,” she said.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left!!


	36. Chapter 36

Traveling on her own meant Ahsoka would have a lot of free time on her hands.Which also meant that she needed a way to pass the long hours.Her therapist had suggested a few methods, but for the first time in a while, Ahsoka realized she wouldn’t mind being bored.It was better than lots of things, anyway.

She boarded the passenger ship with an armload of holomagazines and books, all which would be sure to catch her up on everything she had missed in six years.And there was a lot.Events, fashion, music, politics…it overwhelmed her a little.Everyone else on the ship seemed to be just tourists heading to the planet for sightseeing.Their excited demeanor gave it away.Some were newlyweds who acted so in love it made Ahsoka sick with envy, craving someone’s hand to hold.Others had small children running around their legs.And there was her, the Togrutan, small and awkward and very, very alone.

But at least she had one item of comfort with her.

After her release, she was allowed to have her old Padawan beads back.They were still intact but a little worn.She decided she would always keep them with her.Once she got them back she made them into a necklace, so she could always carry them around with her, almost just like how she used to.

The ache of loneliness plagued her during the trip.She watched the people around her, so happy and easygoing with no clue that they were traveling with a convicted murder and psychotic bitch.And the more she watched them the more the loneliness grew, burning in her like the stars she watched from out her window.They floated by in the distance, then wandered off just like her thoughts.Her heart grew heavy the longer the journey went on.Their happiness only reminded her of what she didn’t have, what she had thrown away, and what had been taken away from her.

All her belongings, including the magazines and books, fit in one bag.Unsure of who to trust, she kept her bag between her ankles and fought sleep until she lost the strength to.Dreams trickled in and out of the Jedi Order she left behind.Faces of those she used to love.All the while she held her new necklace tightly in her hand.

After they landed, it took two days of searching in the city to know where so-called ‘Cadomir Sotulet’ could be found.Bane, of course, knew how to hide well.But thanks to her teachings from him, Ahsoka had a few tricks up her sleeve that worked to her advantage.She tracked down his last known location at a small village on the southern side of the planet, far from the main tourist attractions and a quarter of a day’s journey from the rich farmlands.From there, she got on a train and found a seat that looked safe enough in the far back.

“No turning back now,” she whispered to herself.Then Ahsoka looked out the window as the countryside began to pass by.There was so much green.

Mountains in the distance filled the horizon.Thick forests sped by, trees blooming with fresh brightly colored fruit.Every now and then she could even see wildlife through the brush here and there.Against her wishes, tears flooded her eyes.After years of staring at blank concrete walls, the sight of so much beauty in nature was too much to take.

Turning away so no one would see her, Ahsoka sobbed in silence with no shoulder to lean on.

So much life and rebirth and goodness, it seemed impossible to believe in it.How could so much exist in one place?How could a galaxy that saw so much death and decay also hold sacred grounds such as these?Why was it the beautiful things that made her cry?

 

 

The train pulled to a stop and Ahsoka looked around the small village, holding her bag close to her.She rented the cheapest speeder she could find and, thanks to a local’s advice, headed towards Cadomir Sotulet’s homestead.

Her palms began to perspire against the handlebars as she took the speeder down the narrow path through the forest.Soft green leaves brushed her knees and montrals, tickling her. Pictures from her imagination flashed in front of her, how she imagined Bane’s home would look like.Probably a dark shack covered in dust, full of weapons and assassin droids.Maybe he would sooner kill her than talk things through.Maybe he would shoot her before she could get in a word.It wouldn’t surprise her.

Ahsoka took a deep breath.Far too late to change her mind.

When she finally turned the bend, arriving at a dead end, the sight took her by surprise.In one leap she was off her speeder and staring ahead.

There was a small cottage, coated with vines, with extra rooms on the front and sides built on recently.Mismatched doors, windows, siding, even colors.The cottage hid behind a thick garden that spread out to the front yard, which the path made its way around in rugged steps.Pots lined the path, overflowing with fresh ferns, cacti, flowers, palms, and others she did not even recognize.

And Ahsoka looked closer.Between two trees, a wooden gate led to another part of the garden where she could barely make out a bench and a small pool.Lights had been hung from the overhanging vines.Old furniture, speeder and ship parts, pottery, and tools cluttered any spot not occupied by the blossoms.

“What the hell…?”She had to have lost her way.No way Bane lived _here_.It was too beautiful.

She was about to get back on her speeder and leave, but then a flint of metal caught her eye.Then two small yellow eyes, glowing.

Her breath caught in her lungs as Ahsoka turned back around.The Force had been right.For there he was, the little droid still on his own two legs after all these years, holding up a small switch that activated artificial rainfall over a section of plants in the front yard.

“Todo?” she called out.She cleared her throat.“Todo 360?”

The techno-service droid looked up and almost jumped.

“Miss Tano?Is…is it really you?”Todo looked like he had a little bit of rust here and there, but he was otherwise in excellent condition.For some reason Bane had decided to take care of him well.

“Yeah.It’s me.”Her voice got quiet as the realization of what she had done, and was about to do, stabbed her through the stomach.

Todo put down his task and, almost reluctantly, took small steps towards her along the path.

“I never thought you would show up again.Neither did Mr. Bane.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“I…um…well…”Before Todo could recover from the question, the cottage’s front door opened.Someone stepped out and said in a tone that reminded Ahsoka of Padmé speaking to the Senate,

“Who are you and what are you doing here?”She was a Duros.Facial piercings on her lips, eyebrows, and cheeks, a silk scarf around her forehead, knee high boots, a belt full of tools balanced over her wide hips and tucked under a flowing skirt.Just the sight of her made Ahsoka bite her lip.

“Um…I’m Ahsoka Tano.Is Cad here?If he’ll see me, I would like to talk to—”

The Duros woman held up a tiny hand and Ahsoka shut up immediately.

“I know who you are,” she said in a tone that indicated she had not just heard the bad stories about Anakin’s apprentice.“I thought you were still in prison?”

“I was released a couple months ago.”

“All right.Hang on…I’ll go talk to him.But I can’t promise anything.Got it, Tano?”She ran her tongue over one of her lip piercings.

“Sure, no problem.”Wasn’t hard taking orders from such a work of art.

With that, the Duros woman disappeared back in the house.She did not come out for several minutes.Ahsoka began to pace around, looking around at the beautiful gardens.All the detail that had been put into it.Time went by faster as she studied the flowers and the way their colors interacted in such harmony.Then she turned around and Bane stood there, in casual clothing, his mechno arm redesigned into a much simpler everyday model.

“Uh…hi, Cad.”Dammit, she sounded shy.Why should she be _shy_?

Bane walked up to her as Todo returned to the house.His eyes were large.

“How did you find me?” was the first thing he asked.

Ahsoka almost felt offended, but remembered how much work it took to find him, and how much he must want to be left alone.Fair question.

“Ventress helped me.So did some things you taught me once.But it took her months.We’ll both keep your location a secret, swear it.”

“Yeah, you’d better.I don’t want the Republic knowing about this place.”Bane crossed his arms and looked down.“You, uh…you look well.Better than I imagined.”

“So do you.Not so skin and bones anymore.”She glanced away, unable to make eye contact.“And this is your…?”

“I live here, yeah.”

“And she is…?”

“We’re married.So no flirting with her.Tempting, I know.”

Finally, a bit of the old Bane was back.

“You’re just lucky you met her first.”Ahsoka smiled a bit.

“Sure…”Bane shrugged, took out a toothpick and began gnawing on it.“I know what you’re going to ask.We met five years ago in a bar.Been married four years.You don’t get to know any details.”And just like that, there was the sting in his voice she had been bracing for.“I’m guessing that since they let you out you’re better now?”

She nodded silently, doubting he would ever trust her again.

“So you’re not planning to kill me or anything?” Bane asked coldly.

“What?No!No, I…”Ahsoka took a step back and reached for the tip of her left montral.“That’s not me anymore.I’m never going back to that.And I didn’t…come here for forgiveness, either.”

“Then what?Certainly not an apology.”He spat the toothpick into a flower pot.

“Not that either.”Now she felt awkward.“It just wasn’t right.Ending things the way we did.I don’t deserve forgiveness for what I did…”

“Me neither.”

_Great, he interrupted the speech I rehearsed all the way here…wait, what?_

Bane shook his head.

“I did a lot of things I’m not proud of.Mutilating you is near the top of the list.I got messed up.”

“But what I did…”

He sighed and looked right at her for the first time since she saw him again.Strangely enough, he did not look older.He looked younger, really.More life in his eyes.

“Look, ‘Soka…we’ll both be better off moving on.Holding onto the past was what nearly made me end my life in prison.I can’t do that anymore.”He glanced off to look at a bunch of flowers that had not quite blossomed yet.He softly felt the leaves between his fingers, then took a pail of water from nearby and poured it into the flower pot, careful not to use too much.Taken aback by his uncanny gentleness, Ahsoka studied him.

“My therapist talked that way too.I feel the same,” she said in a hushed tone.

He finally stepped closer, emptying the strange distance between them.At that point, Ahsoka was fighting back tears she had forced down for six years.

“I have to let go.Not just of what you did, but what I did too.Just keep going the best I can with the time I have left.It’s why I quit being a bounty hunter and I’m starting over here.”

“I…I see.”Her heart wanted to explode.He had changed after all.And in the best way she had never let herself hope for.“What do you do now?”

“Well, I work on speeders part time.But otherwise I—”

Ahsoka suddenly saw small blue arms wrap around Bane’s legs.She frowned and peered close.

“Starla,” Bane said.“I told you to wait inside, sweetie.”

A tiny head peered up at Ahsoka from between Bane’s shins.Her eyes were large and bright red.Just like Bane’s.

“Oh—oh my gods…Cad?”The corners of Ahsoka’s mouth lifted as she watched the Duros toddler yank on Bane’s pant leg with tight little fists.“You’re a _father_?”

“Full time.”He spoke softly as he picked her up and held her close.The toddler buried her face in his shoulder, overcome with shyness.

“How old?”Now Ahsoka could not stop smiling.

“Just turned two.We named her Starla.”Bane saw the question on Ahsoka’s lips before she could ask it.“She’s the reason I live here now.The reason I gave up crime.I didn’t believe in love at first sight until the day she hatched.”

“Cad, that’s…really sappy and sweet and I never thought you’d have kids, but here you are.She’s so chubby!”   
“Shut the fuck up.My baby is perfect.”He rubbed Starla’s back soothingly.He glanced over his shoulder and hollered back at the house, “Ena!She got out of the house again.”

“What can I say, she’s crafty.”His wife, Ena, stood in the doorway sipping from a large mug.

“She gets it from you,” Ahsoka added, to which Bane looked back at her with a smile in his eyes.

“I’ll introduce you to her officially when she’s feeling less shy.”He set her down and told her something in Durese, then pulled out three pieces of candy from his pocket.Starla beamed brightly and ran back to the house.Bane stood up and cracked his back.“Ah, I spoil her way too much.You should see all the piles of stuff I buy for her.Not like I can help it.”

“You’re a good father to her, Cad.I can tell,” she said quietly.

He shrugged and crossed his arms, glancing over the young Togrutan who, of course, was not so young anymore.What neither of them knew how to put in words did not need to be said.The silence, her forced back tears, and the three pieces of candy no longer in his pocket said more than enough.A faint wind whispered through the flowers and vines, and the Force moved through Ahsoka like a river that had run dry for far too long, a drought inside her just when she had allowed the rain to return and drown her, until she remembered that the same life and rebirth surrounding her on this planet was inside her as well.The same strength that Padmé had to keep her fighting for justice, the same gentleness Bane found in himself because of his daughter, and the same undying love that Anakin always had in his heart to do anything for the people he cared about…it was all inside her, too.She just had to let it be.

“We have a lot to talk about.”Bane broke the silence first.

“I know.We will.”

“And I hope you understand that I’ll be keeping an eye on you, especially around my family.You’ll have to earn my trust back.”

It stung to hear that, but she expected no less.They would not fix this over one conversation.It would take dozens upon dozens, if not more.But she was ready for that.

“Of course, Cad.I understand.”

“So, what are you going to do with your life now?”

She had not been expecting him to ask that at all.She shifted her weight from each foot, and glanced up at the trees, smelling the fresh flowers.This place seemed so special.

“I’ve been thinking of getting an education, actually.Study the natural sciences from my homeworld.See what others besides the Jedi have written about the Force.There’s so much about the galaxy I don’t know.”

“Any idea after that?”

“No ideas.”Ahsoka sighed.“But when the Force gives me one, I’ll go after it.”

Bane adjusted his hat and glanced back at the house, showing some slight hesitation in what he was about to say.

“You know, um…dinner’s just about ready.And it’ll take you a while to get back to the village.Would you like to stay and eat with us?Bet if you give Starla candy she’ll talk to you a little.”

Ahsoka smiled and reached for her neck.There, her old Padawan beads felt cool in her hand.The memories of them came back, when they were found and lost and found again.Some memories were sad and some joyous, but all within the Force now.They belonged in the past.And the future belonged to them, blooming with new life and opportunity.

“I would love that.”With that, she followed Bane inside.It was time to make some new memories.


End file.
